This is a more positive post than the last couple have been. I had my second ECT treatment this morning, and there was no talk of involving security. The anaesthesiologist didn’t make a fuss at all about giving me the anaesthetic that I doesn’t give me side effects, which was a relief.
Yesterday I talked to the advocate who will represent me at a review panel next week to contest my committal under the Mental Health Act. Since I still want treatment and am not trying to get discharged, the advocate suggested that I explain to Dr. Murray what I’m hoping to accomplish with the review panel. She thought he might be agreeable to decertifying me before then so I wouldn’t have to go through with the review panel.
Since speaking is hard (my speech is very slow, halting, and soft), I decided to write him a letter explaining why I wanted to be voluntary. I also explained exactly what happened when I was restrained, because I had no idea if what was in the chart would have accurately captured it. I was surprised that he was actually willing to consider this. He’s going to talk to my brother, who supports me being voluntary, and then he’ll likely decertify me tomorrow, which is definitely positive.
I spoke to the advocate again this afternoon, and she’d had a chance to review my chart. The notes from when I was restrained in ER were wildly inaccurate, which is perhaps why there’s been a lack of recognition of how wrong it was. The ER psychiatrist documented that my speech was very slow, with pauses even mid-word, and so soft that it was often difficult to hear me. The ER nurse documented that while I was initially cooperative with going over to the locked psych area, I then became “paranoid” and “combative” and was “yelling” at the nurse. At that point, she hit her panic button, and when security arrived, I continued to “yell.” The doctor certified me because I’d become “psychotic.” None of those things are accurate. To describe as yelling what the psychiatrist described as very slow, with lots of pauses, and so soft it was difficult to hear is unbelievably absurd and totally inaccurate. It just boggles my mind. And to certify me based on paranoia that wasn’t present is all kinds of problematic.
I called the clinical nurse leader I had complained to last week. She heard how I was speaking then, and I said if staff are calling that yelling, that’s a professional practice issue that needs to be addressed.
While I’m all kinds of unimpressed with that, I’m glad that Dr. Murray will probably be making me voluntary. Fingers crossed that that will happen tomorrow.
Thanks so much everyone for your support. It means a lot to me.
This 6-part series begins with Tales from the Psych Ward part I.
The post Cell Phones on Psych Wards—Yea or Nay? is the hub for all psychiatric hospitalization-related content on Mental Health @ Home.
Thank you for being so brave in sharing your story!
Thank you.
I missed Part II and will go find it now. Good luck 🍀 on the decert 💖
Thanks ❤
Thank you ❤
I’m so glad this was a more positive post. I hope that you get the treatment that you need in the WAY that you need it – without restraints, with being listened to, etc. So often we’re told that we need to advocate for ourselves, but what happens when we’re not listened to? My thoughts are with you.
Thank you. Yeah, advocating is all well and good, but there’s a pretty big power differential.
You’re absolutely correct.
Hugs! So good to read this! Fingers crossed for getting to be voluntary tomorrow! Praying it happens!
Thank you ❤
Wow. What a different tune they are singing now. Is that because 1) you aren’t giving up and 2) there is a process in place for some staff accountability and 3) the facts (yelling, paranoia, psychotic) are not supported?
ECT sounds hopeful 💕❤️
I think my doctor on this ward is fairly reasonable, and now that he’s known me for a week, he can see that I’m fairly reasonable too.
To know you is to respect and love you
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Yay!! Finally you are being treated like a human. My thoughts stay with you💛
Thank you ❤
I have to say that from the outside, this is mystifying. You posted about going to the hospital so clearly were intentional in seeking the treatment you need and then went there voluntarily. How it ever could be construed by the staff as involuntarily boggles my mind. So glad to hear that it’s going better. And that you got the treatement with the anesthetic that works for you. Sending my best thoughts to you, Ashley!
Thanks so much ❤
And I was halfway through a limerick starting, “There once was a doctor named Murray…” 🙂
Lol
I’m glad things sound a bit better. I hope they continue to improve, and that they make you voluntary.
Thanks so much.
I’m glad you’re writing a letter, sorry that you have to – you write so eloquently, I hope it gives them pause and the motivation to change their processes so patients are truly listened to. Hope you feel better soon!
Thank you!
I’m glad your voice is being heard. Seeing you do this is helping me gather the courage to take on the providers that made irresponsible decisions during my treatment. Thanks.
I wish you all the best with that. They certainly have a lot to account for.
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I was pleased to read in your update that there is a glimmer of hope Ashley Leia that you will be treated with deeper respect for your courageous choice. You are ever in my prayers. Blessings to you.
Thank you so much ❤
I’m very glad. I’m still quite angry on your behalf, but I’m so glad that the second treatment went more smoothly.
Thanks ❤
Glad you got the right anaesthetic this time around, and good luck tomorrow 🙂
Thank you ❤