This is a more positive post than the last couple have been. I had my second ECT treatment this morning, and there was no talk of involving security. The anaesthesiologist didn’t make a fuss at all about giving me the anaesthetic that I doesn’t give me side effects, which was a relief.
Yesterday I talked to the advocate who will represent me at a review panel next week to contest my committal under the Mental Health Act. Since I still want treatment and am not trying to get discharged, the advocate suggested that I explain to Dr. Murray what I’m hoping to accomplish with the review panel. She thought he might be agreeable to decertifying me before then so I wouldn’t have to go through with the review panel.
Since speaking is hard (my speech is very slow, halting, and soft), I decided to write him a letter explaining why I wanted to be voluntary. I also explained exactly what happened when I was restrained, because I had no idea if what was in the chart would have accurately captured it. I was surprised that he was actually willing to consider this. He’s going to talk to my brother, who supports me being voluntary, and then he’ll likely decertify me tomorrow, which is definitely positive.
I spoke to the advocate again this afternoon, and she’d had a chance to review my chart. The notes from when I was restrained in ER were wildly inaccurate, which is perhaps why there’s been a lack of recognition of how wrong it was. The ER psychiatrist documented that my speech was very slow, with pauses even mid-word, and so soft that it was often difficult to hear me. The ER nurse documented that while I was initially cooperative with going over to the locked psych area, I then became “paranoid” and “combative” and was “yelling” at the nurse. At that point, she hit her panic button, and when security arrived, I continued to “yell.” The doctor certified me because I’d become “psychotic.” None of those things are accurate. To describe as yelling what the psychiatrist described as very slow, with lots of pauses, and so soft it was difficult to hear is unbelievably absurd and totally inaccurate. It just boggles my mind. And to certify me based on paranoia that wasn’t present is all kinds of problematic.
I called the clinical nurse leader I had complained to last week. She heard how I was speaking then, and I said if staff are calling that yelling, that’s a professional practice issue that needs to be addressed.
While I’m all kinds of unimpressed with that, I’m glad that Dr. Murray will probably be making me voluntary. Fingers crossed that that will happen tomorrow.
Thanks so much everyone for your support. It means a lot to me.