A blogger I knew died by suicide yesterday. She scheduled a blog post and a Twitter share of the post to go live after the fact. One of the things mentioned in her post was that her plan was to be struck by a train.
Today I was looking at the Twitter comments in response to her tweet, and there were a number of people who were essentially trying to guilt-trip her into not going through with it because it would traumatize the train driver.
I call bullshit on the guilt-tripping and the whole suicide-as-selfish perspective. It doesn’t help people in any way, shape, or form. Saying crap like that places the importance of everyone else ahead of the person who’s feeling suicidal. And how is that doing anyone any good?
And I don’t want to dignify this Tweet with a response; instead, I’ll call bullshit on this asshat’s comment here:
“I sincerely hope you didn’t jump in front of a train and then in all likelihood cause the person driving said train to suffer from lifelong Mental Health issues, that is extremely selfish and cruel considering you know how awful it is to live with.”
There are just no words.
RIP Becca.
Becca was transgender, and one of the massive stressors in her life was being frequently misgendered by others. This post on sex and gender can help to clarify some of the terminology that relates to gender identity.
The Straight Talk on Suicide page has crisis and safety planning resources, along with info on suicide-related topics from the perspective of someone who’s been there.
No words, but sorrow …
That’s awful. Thank you for posting about this. I completely agree. I never understand how some people can not have sympathy in that situation. 💙
I think that people were genuinely trying to encourage this person to stay alive, just going about it very much the wrong way.
Agree :).
That’s horrible. R. I. P. 😢 Sometimes it’s better if people don’t talk instead of judging people or saying things which can hurt a person especially in sounds a vulnerable state. I’m really sorry. I was thinking if I knew that girl. Sending you all my love 💖
I don’t think you knew her. I don’t think those people were trying to be hurtful – they just didn’t think about how their words would come across.
This is so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry.
I really don’t know what to say Ashley, but I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.
Why are people such idiots — posting vile stuff on social media? They’re only showing their own damn ignorance.
What I find disturbing is that I think these people seemed to think they were being helpful by trying to talk this person out of acting.
Oh my god, this is so sad. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, Ashley. And for the comments you had to read about her.
The weird thing was that the comments weren’t about her so much as they were trying to motivate her not to go through with it.
Yeah 🙁 Well-intentioned guilt tripping is still guilt tripping…
Yes it is.
🙁
RIP
I am crying…I’m so sorry. Suicide is something not many people comprehend unfortunately…this literally broke my heart. RIP Becca ♥️
Yeah for all the suicide awareness stuff out there, there’s a lot of people who really just don’t get it.
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss, Ashley. And yeah, I don’t see how responding with judgement in a situation like that could possibly be helpful.
I think it was intended as motivator to act, without realizing it came across as judgment.
I am sorry Ashley you lost your friend. I lost my son to suicide. I really hate even the word. They deserve more dignity and respect. Much hope and peace
I’m so sorry to hear that. Yes, they do deserve dignity and respect. To pass judgment on people who experienced that kind of pain is really uncalled for.
My heart broke hearing this. You’re absolutely right. Look after yourself xo
I’m okay. It’s a sad situation, though.
My condolences. I’m so sorry you have lost a blogging friend, and that people were saying such awful things on her post.
Ashley I am so sorry for the loss of your friend .
🖤
It’s strange how people will think they’re being helpful when they’re just not.
Guilt and shame trips never work, I feel.
So true
💔 I’m so sad to read this.
🖤
I simply cannot like this post – it is extremely heartbreaking 💔 I tried to find a lead but I’m not sure if I found the right person. Was she Canadian? The investigators called the death “suspicious.” I wish that I could have read her blog posts, and I wish that the blogging community could have helped her. I feel like society does not do enough to prevent/stop suicidal ideation and death. It’s a topic that is often swept under the rug. I appreciate that you brought light to this issue, and that this blog post is a tribute to your blogging friend. RIP Becca ♥️
She’s from the UK. Things have been very difficult for her for a very long time, and I think with this act she was probably able to find peace that just wans’t available to her in this life.
May she truly Rest In Peace. It’s sad that so many people who aren’t heard or can’t find a solution in this life. Her “why” to suicide must have been stronger than her will to live.
Yes it was, and I really hope she has found peace now.
OMG, this is so sad. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. These judgments are so awful. This also hits so close to home, as I was in a situation like this in 2007. Thankfully I didn’t end up taking my life.
I’m vrey glad you didn’t.