Applying spoon theory to mental illness

spoon theory infographic

image from Pinterest

Over the last year of blogging I have learned many things.  One of those things is spoon theory.  Spoon theory was first described in a 2003 essay by Christine Miserandino, who had used the metaphor to describe to a friend what it felt like to have an invisible illness (in her case, lupus).  She and her friend were in a restaurant at the time, and a spoon was easily available to use as a metaphor.  Spoon theory has since become quite popular and is used to describe many forms of energy-limiting chronic illnesses, including mental illness, and the term “spoonie” is sometimes used to describe people living with chronic illness.

The graphic above shows how some activities may  just take one spoon, while others will take more.  How many spoons each activity will take will vary depending on the individual and where they’re at with their illness at that point in time.  The metaphor is something that those without chronic illness are likely to be able to understand.

One of the things I really like about this metaphor is that it’s very self-forgiving.  It’s not a question of whether you tried hard enough to do something; rather, it’s a matter of scarcity of resources.  It also calls for a very realistic assessment of what you’ve got available, and what the true cost is associated with each type of activity.  It recognizes the cumulative effect of multiple draining tasks occurring within a short time frame.

I think it’s essential that we don’t judge our functioning when our illness is bad based on our daily spoon allotment and spoon requirement per task that we have access to when things are going pretty well.  In the graphic above, getting out of bed just requires one spoon.  When depression is really bad, that number might be more like 10, and it may move back and forth in between those numbers over the course of the illness.

Sometimes a task will taking more spoons for different reasons.  Taking a shower might take a lot of spoons for energy reasons, or it might take more spoons due to limited motivation.  The number of spoons required to be around people will vary depending on a number of factors.  Sometimes it’s a matter of being overstimulated.  Sometimes it’s more to do with cognitive slowing, because I’m slow to come up with responses.  Context matters.  Group social situations always require a lot of spoons because I’m such an introvert.  In my work as a nurse, dealing with patients always requires fewer spoons than dealing with colleagues.

I like how individualized spoon theory is.  There’s no standard that applies to everyone, and it’s just as easily applied to physical and mental illnesses, or a combination of both.  What I think is most important is that we be realistic in evaluating both our daily spoon allotment and the spoon requirements of different tasks.  We need to challenge the “shoulds” that hold us to unreasonable standards, whether those standards involve comparisons to others or comparisons to ourselves when we are feeling well.

Is the spoon theory something that resonates with you?  How do you apply it to your life/illness?

51 thoughts on “Applying spoon theory to mental illness

  1. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com says:

    I have never heard of the “Spoon Theory” before, until now. I find this very fascinating, to say the least.
    Because this is a new theory to me, I guess it somewhat goes along with accomplishing a list that I have constructed the night before for the following day. Say I have 5 chores I want to accomplish, as I check them off upon finishing each one, I do in fact feel gratified.
    I enjoyed reading this post! Thank you for sharing! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Karen says:

    I like the concept, having first heard of it in cancer-land. I’ve not used it as the effort of deciding how many spoons an activity takes would probably use too many of my spoons… joking aside, sometimes I feel all out of spoons before I’ve even done anything.
    What’s the answer? How do we get more spoons?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Melanie B Cee says:

    That’s utterly fascinating! I know several people who would benefit from this, so I’m reblogging you on my site AND sharing that meme on FB for friends over there who suffer from invisible illnesses, but get weary of having to explain, again and again, why they ‘can’t’ do things that others seem to take for granted… Thanks Ashleyleia!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Luftmentsch says:

    I have heard of spoon theory, but not of “spoonie” – not sure I like that. I don’t want to be defined by my health issues and just the word… maybe it sounds too much like some kind of cult!

    For me the real difficulty with spoon theory is how much the amount of spoons needed can vary over time. Some tasks take more energy the more tired you are e.g. walking home from the station. When the depression is not so bad, I can have a lot more spoons than on days when it’s bad. Then there can be a spoon deficit over time, if I use a lot of energy, sleep may not restore me back to normal amounts of energy, even accounting for the fact that depressed normal is not the same as non-depressed normal. (I am possibly being autistic and focusing too much on the details here.) But it is a useful metaphor.

    Interesting how dealing with colleagues is more draining for you than dealing with clients. For me it’s the other way around. When I was in a student-facing library role, I found dealing with students (even the well-behaved ones) much harder than dealing with colleagues, although dealing with my boss was probably the hardest thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. huguetta says:

    Never heard of it before and I liked the metaphor! So thank you for sharing this! I guess that according to Spoon theory, some days I need 10 spoons to get up from bed 🙂 As you mentioned “it’s a matter of scarcity of resources.”…”Taking a shower might take a lot of spoons for energy reasons, or it might take more spoons due to limited motivation”
    It’s very informative, thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Meg says:

    Wow, new concept!! Fun! Thanks for posting about it!

    Yeah, I struggle massively with taking a shower. There’s no logical reason for it. Actually, there’s no reason at all, that I know of. It just feels overwhelming to me: brush teeth, floss teeth, comb hair, get dry, wash eyeglasses, etc. All added together, hygiene just overwhelms me. Lots of spoons required.

    As for getting out of bed… gracious heavens. If it’s not around 1:00 PM, then I probably haven’t gotten enough sleep yet! If I wake up at 10:00 or even 11:00, I’ll be needing a nap!! 😮 And I go to bed at around 1:00 AM or 2:00 AM. I know, though, I just suffer from chronic inexplicable (possibly schizophrenia-related) fatigue.

    This is a fun concept!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. yarnandpencil says:

    I have found spoon theory so helpful in explaining how I feel to my husband. If I say that I don’t have enough spoons for a certain task, trip or activity he totally gets it. We don’t don’t need to use it quite so much these days as I’ve found other ways to evaluate my energy levels.
    Great post, thanks Ashley xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. dianamuzina says:

    I wish that I this was more widely known. It would be really helpful in talking with coworkers and friends about how mental health can affect my day to day. I hate when people just say, “get out of bed.” Sometimes it’s just truly impossible.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. aguycalledbloke says:

    This is awesome Ashley – l have never heard of this ‘theory’, but find it really informative – l had a similiar experience, bar the spoon at my last consultant appointment when he asked if l had to rate certain tasks of functionality out of 10 as in 1 being easy and 10 being virtually impossible, how would l thus so rate them. I explained things in a similiar fashion to the above image.

    That since this thing with my shoulder began, l have noticed significant deterioration levels with regards functionality – as an example – initially walking Scrappy with my right hand as a right handed person in say June 2018, was at that point about a 1 spoon, however since an incident last year, l find l can only hold the lead now with said right hand, but can not physically walk her with that hand anymore without experiencing serious pain, so now l walk her with my left, as the right is now a 5.

    Walking in March of last year was a 1, but we live on a hill, and with the slow to eventual collapse of the acromion, my arm and neck responds so viciously now as in a 5, my nerve reacts to any uphill movement.

    Brilliant post.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. brendablagdon says:

    I discovered the spoon theory through your post. What an idea It relates so well to my depression and how I deal with it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and seeing how it relates to my my life and my friends’. I have a friend with polymyalgia who experiences pain almost constantly. Yet she pushes herself and does more than she should. She seems to be borrowing spoons from tomorrow and the next day which will eventually have to be paid back sometime. I do that .too. If I throw a party I need to “borrow” spoons and I know that I will spend the day after the party in bed, paying back those spoons. I wonder if some people have hidden stashes of spoons lying around the house . LOL. They just seem to keep going when the rest of us have flaked.

    Liked by 1 person

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