A Dickless Prick: A Letter to My Psychiatrist

I wrote this to share with my psychiatrist, and I thought I’d share it with all of you, too. Thanks to Kat for the “dickless prick” phrasing.

I thought we had established my background, but it seems like we/you need a bit of a refresher, so here we go.

I used to be a pharmacist. Then I was a mental health nurse for 15 years. I have a Master of Psychiatric Nursing degree and regularly read psychiatric/psychological research papers to do knowledge translation on my blog for people who are actually taking these treatments. I’ve done a significant amount of continuing medical education, particularly with regards to treatment-resistant depression. A copy of Stahl’s Essential Psychopharmacology sits on my home bookshelf. I’ve written a book called Psych Meds Made Simple that’s in the top in bestsellers in the medical psychopharmacology category on Amazon. It’s rated 4.6/5 with 786 ratings. It’s sold over 11,000 copies.

I’m unconvinced that you have the slightest clue how to approach treatment-resistant depression. Instead, you’re too bloody scared to just order Cytomel at the dose I took from 2012-2016 (that an endocrinologist was fine with back then), and furthermore, you’re too bloody scared to order a water-soluble B vitamin at a dose I’ve taken before that’s supported by the research literature. And you didn’t have the courtesy to tell me that you intended to waste my time with a dose that’s an order of magnitude smaller than what would actually be useful.

So if you feel the need to question me, then what you can do is kiss my ass and stay the fuck away from my care. We are done here. I’m not cooperating with anything further. We can continue to fight, but I don’t think that accomplishes anything for anyone. So please put an end to this nonsense and let me leave AMA.

A few additional points:

  • That Marie Fennemore woman said she was certifying me because I was “dissociating.” She’s fucking loopier than I am.
  • Day staff March 30 said that I “refused” ECT. As best I could tell, night staff were frightened of me, because they said sweet fuck all to me. I “refused” nothing, and they were documenting misleading information.
  • There is a page printed off from my blog in my chart. I never gave permission for this or the name or URL of my site. It is really not appropriate for staff to have gone on a fishing expedition for this of their own accord.
  • I didn’t sleep the last two nights, because I can’t sleep without meds. Last night, night staff was really mature and decided they wanted to have a fucking pissing contest with me. Dude turned off the lights in the dining room and said if I continued my “protest” they’d have to take steps to make me stay in my room. I told him he was pathetic and he said “not listening!” Nursing excellence right there.

47 thoughts on “A Dickless Prick: A Letter to My Psychiatrist”

  1. Your frustration and anger is healthy. The ‘professionals’ you are dealing with will never see it as such. Sadly, it threatens them. Ultimate mind games and BS. Stay strong. You got this.

  2. If you don’t like people, customer service isn’t for you. Similarly, if you can’t help the mentally ill, or at least do your best to “do no harm,” then you have no business in that area of the medical professional. Perhaps something in a nice research or inventory position would suit them better?

    Once again, I offer up the most pointless words in the English language, I’m sorry. And while “dickless prick” is nice, my go to lately has been “syphilis made flesh.”

  3. Sounds like they’ve got some hight quality staffing there. Glad they seem to understand the job and do it to the best of their ability. Always good to know we have such competent mental health care professionals working in some of the places of highest need. Dickless pricks at their finest 👌🏻

  4. Wow, I inspired a post. I do love that you used it in your title.
    I am so unapologetically blunt. I spent way too much time being polite and doing what doctors have said as far as treatments go and I am like the Kat with 9 lives, and their 9 lives too with how many times I have almost died. But that is a whole different post.
    Are you free yet?

  5. Speechless but so glad you were able to express your frustrations. The scary part is you know about mental health and medication and are still treated this way. What about those who don’t have that information or aren’t able to access it because of their condition. Frightening! Xx

  6. Here’s to a speedy release from that place. I’m fairly positive they think ‘they’re doing the right thing” and “have your best interests and well being at heart” and any other platitudes one mouths when one is so frustrated that words fail. It sounds like a horror show. I have issues with incompetent mental health providers from the psychs down to the nurses down to the orderlies down to the person who cleans up. I, like you, react very badly when treated with disrespect by those who are supposed to be treating or helping me. Fortunately I’ve avoided being committed, except voluntarily once, although I doubt I could have left if I felt like it even so. The experience scared the hell out of me, because I didn’t know what to expect and for whatever reason it seems that the worst at communication are the ones put in charge of traumatized psych patients. Get some people with compassion and who can talk to a patient without talking DOWN to them or worse still putting personal bias in play so the patient isn’t heard at all. Great letter. I hope it burns someone’s gonads. And I like syphilis made flesh as well. Classy. 😉

  7. Your knowledge translation is incredibly valuable because it empowers others.

    Way too many useless psychiatrists and other staff are intimidated by patients who also are in the mental health field… I think they’re like police officers…they want to bully but want less of a risk than police, so they go into mental health.

  8. Jesus H Tapdancing Christ. Where do these people get their degrees? And the bedside manner is atrocious. I wish you luck, my friend. I’ll be thinking of you.

  9. Mental health care is so scary! It seems like they are trying to make you into a person of their chosing so they can treat you how they want too. This sounds truly horrible and so violating.

  10. What a fanfuckingtastic letter. Very eloquently written and fuelled by an appropriate amount of rage. “So if you feel the need to question me, then what you can do is kiss my ass and stay the fuck away from my care” – what a kicker!

    As for shit being written in your notes, I’ve had that happen a number of times (and those are only the ones I’m aware of). It’s infuriating and then it becomes a case of you versus “the professionals”. Apparently they don’t like being called liars. I feel like a Jack Nicholson clip should go here – “You can’t handle the truth!!”

    1. Ooh, yes, that’s perfect!

      It’s funny, just yesterday I was going through my journal and reading the rough copy of that letter, and re-reading that particular line made me laught out loud. I may be crazy, but at least I’ve got balls!

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