Sharing my blog with treatment providers came up for me for the first time recently during my inpatient hospital stay. The fact that I had a blog came up during my first meeting with a psychiatrist in ER, as he’d asked what I do with my time since I’ve been on disability.
My psychiatrist here on the inpatient unit asked if I’d be okay with him looking at it, and I responded that I wanted to take some time to think about it. I was thinking that I would share it with him, but then I decided that it wouldn’t help my cause if I ended up having to go ahead with the review panel to contest my Mental Health Act Committal (which didn’t end up being necessary). The question of whether or not he should look at my blog never came up again, but as the half-deaf fill-in doctor last week was flipping through my chart, I caught sight of my blog’s logo, so clearly somebody had found it and printed off a page from it to stick in my chart. At no point had anyone asked me the blog’s name or URL, but I’m very easily findable using Google, so it doesn’t surprise me that someone could track it down (although I am a bit surprised that they would). No one has ever had any kind of follow-up discussion with me about what they found there.
I know that some people do share their blog with their treatment provider(s). I’m not sure if that’s something I’d ever be all that keen on, although I’m not sure how to articulate why that is. Maybe it’s because I like to compartmentalize my life, and things crossing over into different compartments makes things messier in my head. I don’t like the idea of a treatment provider looking at the dialogue going on in the comments; discomfort with them reading that is more the issue for me than discomfort with them reading the posts themselves.
I think that I’d probably feel the need to self-censor somewhat if I knew treatment providers would be reading my blog. With all of you, I don’t feel the need to use much, if any, filter, and I like that feeling of freedom to write whatever I want using whatever kind of language I want.
So those are my thoughts. Now I’m curious to hear from you – have you or would you share your blog with a treatment provider? Why or why not?
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I told my therapist I write a blog. I suppose there was nothing stopping her from google but she never mentioned reading it. However she did mention a few things I had only written about on my blog. I let it slide but looked at my stats and saw I had a buttload of views on a Friday night when I hadn’t posted. (a buttload is a lot for me) I wrote my last two posts indirectly directed at her and cancelled an appointment. She suddenly became very interested in booking me several “showings” in advance instead of week to week. Now I don’t know if I want to write knowing she is looking over my shoulder. I am sure other people I know have read me but like you said. Choosing Oblivion.
Oblivion sure is appealing…
I have mentioned to a past therapist that I blog. But I never shared my blog and was never asked to. I also lean towards not sharing my blog for the same reasons you listed above (mainly freedom and not worrying about censoring).
Yeah, seems like it would be hard not self-censor, at least to some extent.
Probably not because I wouldn’t want them to use it against me somehow. I also think it’s odd that someone looked yours up, didn’t tell you, and printed a page out for your chart.
There were a couple of people from right around the beginning of my hospital journey who were dickwads, and it wouldn’t surprise me if one of them looked up my site.
My blog is such a big part of my life I think it would be hard for me to receive proper treatment without mentioning it. With that being said, I haven’t seen a therapist in 6 years now.
Yeah, I don’t think I could ever not bring it up – it’s just too big a thing.
I do 🙂 they like to read it and get a feel of how I think.
Oh interesting!
It’s usually my therapist, not my psych. Then we choose something I have mentioned there and discuss it, for example. It can be a good tool
Good to hear!
I share all my poetry which usually speaks for itself, but reading my diary word for word seems like an invasion.
I think the more we can share our story, our testimony of experiences the closer we become to one another. We can all relate to one another over how we heal. The more we learn, the more we grow. This is what brings humanity together, hand in hand and heart in heart ❤❤
That’s such a great point. 💖
It’s so very important! I know you agree. The pieces you share her on your blog are so wonderfully informative.
💕💕
I’m sorry to hear you had to go inpatient! 🙁 I hope it was okay and I hope you’re feeling a bit better now.
I definitely wouldn’t share my blog with my therapist. I try to make it hard to trace it back to me by not including my name or details of things like where I go to school or where I live. I still worry that people will find it anyway, or will stumble across it and then think, “Ohh… is this ? This story sounds familiar. Is that how she sees me??” Agh. I’ve been thinking about this sort of stuff recently because I’d like to be able to share some of my coping skills posts with my friends. I’m thinking I might make some posts private. But then I have to go back through things and decide what to censor, and that will take some work.
But overall, my current boundary with my blog is that no one in real life knows it. Some friends know that I have a blog, but they don’t know the name or anything. My family doesn’t know that I have a blog.
A part of me wishes I had never mentioned to any of my family that I have a blog.
Aww 🙁 It’s tough to share stuff and have it come back to bite you.
My therapist knows about my blog. I’ve told her she can look at it whenever she wants, I really don’t care. Sometimes I’ll specifically share a few with her during a session. It’s always easier to share something I’ve written than to actually talk.
Yeah, writing can be much easier than talking.
I would feel self conscious when I wrote if I knew my provider was possibly reading it. I have told her that I blog other, lighter topics though. 🤷
Yeah, I’d feel self-conscious too.
I would since I’ve learned to be ok with living in my skin. I don’t sugar coat anything and I am fully transparent but I feel like they would probably understand me more if the read my blog since I’m not much for opening up during my appointments I’m not sure why. I’ll open up on my platforms before I do with a care provider. I feel like my platforms actually get me and allow me to be me without trying to change me. Then again I barely get comments so this may help my decision as well. But always be comfortable in your skin for there is only one you. It would have been nice if they would have told you they had looked up your blog at least so you could discuss it without it bothering you.
I also feel like my platforms actually get me.
I already shared the link with my therapists and I try to stay open with everybody. I’ve noticed the need for selfcensorship since than too. For me is that because I like my former shrink a bit too much and I wanted to keep some sort of ‘perfect’ picture on.
Thanks for bringing this topic up, I believe it’s important for doctors/therapists to have as much insights into us as possible. Which can make us more vulnerable to potential misunderstandings, but also for more understanding from their perspective. So from my point of view is a double edged source, even though I regained much of my once lost trust in therapists.
Yeah, I can see that double-edged nature like that.
I’ve mentioned several times to my current long term therapist that I blog. I’ve also shared with her openly about the support I get from WP and Instagram friends, particularly as I’ve been extremely lonely for decades.
Sometimes I quote an excerpt from WP bloggers (after seeking their consent) to share with my therapist, as I struggle a lot with understanding my feelings, wishes etc, and find “borrowing” words very helpful.
I trust she won’t go snooping for my blog even if it was a public blog, so that gives me more freedom to share IF I want to.
That’ great to have that level of trust.
I think she shares my view that caring friends are great, be they offline or online! ❤
That’s a great question. If an outpatient therapist counts as ‘service provider,’ (which I’m pretty sure it does), I have already shared my blog with my new therapist whom I have seen as of five visits. On the first day, I sent her two articles I’ve written about PTSD and Homelessness, one of which was a blog post. I think I did so because I often feel misunderstood and this seemed an easy way to get her to maybe understand me better.
I think that your blog deals a bit more personally and specifically with mental health matters than mine does. I might be a little more leery of this if I were in your position, especially if the level of ‘service provider’ extends to clinicians providing inpatient services.
About comments, I’ve gotten pretty cavalier about rejecting comments on any of my platforms that I feel veer too personal, either for myself or the person making the comments. I often worry that, despite my efforts to “depersonalize” my posts and ensure that I’m comfortable with the world seeing what I’m expressing, my blog is still too personal for my own comfort.
On the other hand, anyone opening any email of mine at any time has access to my signature, which fairly quickly leads to my blog (less so, now that I’ve redesigned the web site). If I don’t want somebody reading my words, whether they be a service provider or anyone else, then it’s a good idea I not write those words on a public forum in the first place.
I don’t have a signature set up for my blog-associated email address, but actually I should probably get around to setting that up.
I think just two or three days go I removed the cloud that links to my blog. I would rather people in general have a hard time finding my writings — not the musical of course, just everything else, unless what I’m writing can somehow help get the show produced (not work against it, as I fear is often the case.)
That makes sense.
Testing.
Was it slow to display your first comment? A few people have mentioned that there seems to be a delay.
Yes. I wrote “testing” because I wasn’t sure I had correctly submitted the comment.
I hear you, that would feel extremely unsettling for them to have a copy of your blog printed out and then not bring it up after the fact. Seems like a large violation of your trust and your right to privacy. Im thinking of you Ashley, always rooting for you <3
I think I would feel pretty uncomfortable, especially if they looked it up before even mentioning it. When I was in my teens I had a counsellor find my tumblr blog and they actually made me delete it which feels wrong now looking back. I can see how they would think it would be beneficial in some aspects to have a better understanding, it feels more like an invasion of privacy more than anything though- I wonder how that would look in terms of ethics.
That seems very, very wrong for them to get you to delete it.