MH@H Book Reviews

Book Review: Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain

Book cover: Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain

Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is the remarkable memoir #8 from Jacqueline-of-all-trades Marie Abanga, aka MAG. MAG is a lawyer, CBT therapist, motivational speaker, author, and various other things, including Superwoman.

In this memoir, the focus is on what she’s learned from dating and relationships over the years. As usual, she brings her unique and powerful voice to her writing. There’s no holding back; MAG is honest, open and willing to be vulnerable. She talks about difficult subjects like childhood sexual abuse, committing adultery, an abusive marriage, and attempted suicide, but the way they’re presented, they don’t feel heavy. Instead, they’re framed as things that she has worked to learn and grow from.

There’s plenty of lightheartedness and willingness to laugh at herself thrown in as well, along with some slang and Cameroonian pidgin. Marie points out that tragedy “affects your future D&R frolics capacity”, and she writes that she is “sharing all my shenanigans over and over again to make my mess my message.”

An important theme that’s emphasized throughout the book is that Marie has gone from trying to find relationships with men that would let her feel liked and accepted to having a great relationship with herself first. She writes, “I mean what about dating and relating wonderfully with myself first and even always?” Yes!!!

If you’re feeling discouraged by your own frolics and shenanigans in the D&R world, this book will motivate you to live authentically as your wonderful self and put your relationship with yourself first. MAG is certainly an example of someone who’s done that very well.

Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is available on Amazon (affiliate link). It’s available for free over the next few days.

You can visit Marie on her blog https://marieabanga.wordpress.com.

I received a free reviewer copy from the author.

You can find my other reviews on the MH@H book review index or on Goodreads.

15 thoughts on “Book Review: Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain”

      1. I agree. I stopped writing about it because there would always be a handful of people telling me I’m being pessimistic and that there’s somebody “out there” for me. It’s nonsense. I’ve spent the first 40 years of my life alone, there’s no reason the next 40 won’t be the same; there’s really an even higher chance since I’m not attracted to women over 50. Lol

        1. I just finished reading a book about relationship OCD that talked about “the myth of the one.” It certainly seems to be a very popular myth. There is no one.

          I’ve found the attractive age horizon pushes forward with age. I always figured it would come to a full stop, but it always seems to hover around 10 years older me, regardless of how old I am.

          1. haha, without emphasis your comment “there is no one” looked especially bleak! I loved it.

            Yes, it’s difficult to talk about dating and age with the opposite sex because we have little in common with our opposites. Men date younger and women date older. Generally, of course. I have female coworkers who think it’s absolutely disgusting that I, a 40 year old man, would date a 30 year old woman. Just wait til they see me when I’m 50 and wealthy with a 20 year old. 😉 jk

            1. At least it makes sense evolution-wise. Cavemen wanted fertility, and cavewomen wanted stability.

              And if I were bi-inclined and had to pick between dating a 20-year-old chick and a 20-year-old dude, the chick would win out every time.

            2. Side note: Have you seen the show Wakefield? It’s about a mental hospital in Australia and although it’s 30% a comedy it’s also extremely emotional and amazing.

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