Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is the remarkable memoir #8 from Jacqueline-of-all-trades Marie Abanga, aka MAG. MAG is a lawyer, CBT therapist, motivational speaker, author, and various other things, including Superwoman.
In this memoir, the focus is on what she’s learned from dating and relationships over the years. As usual, she brings her unique and powerful voice to her writing. There’s no holding back; MAG is honest, open and willing to be vulnerable. She talks about difficult subjects like childhood sexual abuse, committing adultery, an abusive marriage, and attempted suicide, but the way they’re presented, they don’t feel heavy. Instead, they’re framed as things that she has worked to learn and grow from.
There’s plenty of lightheartedness and willingness to laugh at herself thrown in as well, along with some slang and Cameroonian pidgin. Marie points out that tragedy “affects your future D&R frolics capacity”, and she writes that she is “sharing all my shenanigans over and over again to make my mess my message.”
An important theme that’s emphasized throughout the book is that Marie has gone from trying to find relationships with men that would let her feel liked and accepted to having a great relationship with herself first. She writes, “I mean what about dating and relating wonderfully with myself first and even always?” Yes!!!
If you’re feeling discouraged by your own frolics and shenanigans in the D&R world, this book will motivate you to live authentically as your wonderful self and put your relationship with yourself first. MAG is certainly an example of someone who’s done that very well.
Musings on the Murky Dating and Relationships Terrain is available on Amazon (affiliate link). It’s available for free over the next few days.
You can visit Marie on her blog https://marieabanga.wordpress.com.
I received a free reviewer copy from the author.
You can find my other reviews on the MH@H book review index or on Goodreads.
Wow! No comments? Dating and relationships are difficult, but yeah, by putting yourself first, you can lessen the troubles with them.
I am glad I have no desire to venture into that territory.
I understand. To each their own I say 🙂
“Make my mess my message” … love that!!
Me too!
I think the non-negative stories, like my brother meeting his wife on eHarmony, are very much in the minority in this whole realm.
I just finished reading a book about relationship OCD that talked about “the myth of the one.” It certainly seems to be a very popular myth. There is no one.
I’ve found the attractive age horizon pushes forward with age. I always figured it would come to a full stop, but it always seems to hover around 10 years older me, regardless of how old I am.
At least it makes sense evolution-wise. Cavemen wanted fertility, and cavewomen wanted stability.
And if I were bi-inclined and had to pick between dating a 20-year-old chick and a 20-year-old dude, the chick would win out every time.
I hadn’t heard of it before. Sounds interesting.
The book seems like a great read. Learning to love myself first is something that is hard
Yeah, self-love seems to require a lot more work than loving other people.