Calm the F*ck Down by Sarah Knight is part of her series of No Fucks Given Guides; I’ve previously reviewed her book F*ck No. She was one of the earlier adopters of swearing in book titles.
The book begins with a note on the title, saying it’s meant to be motivational rather than being an asshole by patting you condescendingly on the head and saying there, there, just relax. Knight admits that she had generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and says this book is for people dealing with anxiety of either the illness or non-illness variety. She mentions at one point that she takes meds, both regularly and as needed, and they help.
The tone is lighthearted, but the advice is good, and much of it boils down to either accept or act. Knight explains the book this way:
“Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer—you know, the one about accepting the things you cannot change and having the wisdom to know the difference? Calm the Fuck Down is essentially a blasphemous, long-form version of that, with flowcharts ’n’ stuff.”
Four faces of freaking out are identified: anxiety, sadness, anger, and avoidance, also known as ostrich mode. The strategies that are described throughout the book are presented in the context of these different types of freak-outs.
Knight encourages readers to replace “what if?” with “okay, now what?” Her “one question to rule them all” is “can I control it?”
She describes a shitstorm version of a hurricane scale, and the likelihood of a given shitstorm making landfall is measured on a probability barometer, aka a probometer (which sounds rather anal probe-ish, perhaps in keeping with the shitstorm). She likens the cognitive distortion known as catastrophizing to “willing a shitstorm into existence.”
Acceptance is a recurring theme throughout the book. Knight suggests that instead of asking why, or whose fault is it, you should ask what you’re going to do about it.
I’ve seen a few people mention Choose Your Own Adventure books lately, and they make an appearance in this book, in the form of “choose your own fuckventure.” Why not, right?
With short paragraphs, lots of headings, key text in bold, and diagrams, this book is very easy to read. The author has a good sense of humour, and does a good job of conveying meaningful information in a comical way. It probably won’t fix your anxiety disorder, but it will give you some good tips and make you laugh while you’re at it.
Calm the F*ck Down is available on Amazon (affiliate link).
You can find my other reviews on the MH@H book review index or on Goodreads.
26 thoughts on “Book Review: Calm the F*ck Down”
Different approaches to reach a wider audience soundsappealing.
We wonder if acceptance is the approach of most wisdom or if going with the flow is more flexible. The opposite of accept is reject (or avoid). Maybe neither of that dyad is ideal. Does accepting creates a prolonging of the temporary—you hold on to the experience, as opposed to the opposite of avoiding it, or the option to just notice it as it floats by.
Going with the flow might mean noticing, and not latching on, and letting the experience pass you by as experiences even of the self-created shitstorm variety are wont to do. So maybe if you “accept,” then you could let go, thereby creating more flow and less attachment and clinging to what is temporary.
When I’ve seen acceptance used in this context, it’s been used as the opposite of resistance, and allowing flow. So I think it’s essentially the same thing, unlike accept as in welcoming.
Makes sense. We might split hairs and claim the opposite of resist is allow, which sounds more “flowish” to us
I like it!
We could also call the f*ck down about it 🤣
Or you could f*ckin go with the flow 🌊🏄♀️
Smiling. Thank you.
Interesting, and I like the ‘ok, what now’ part, but still seems a bit over the top in terms of profanity and attempts to use shock value.
I suspect that part of the audience she’s aiming at is people who do swear a lot in general and would like to not taking it too seriously approach.
Oh. That makes sense.
She sounds like someone I might actually take advice from LOL The woo-woo, ooga-booga stuff makes me barf…(Like and agree on your take on ‘acceptance’)
Yeah, woo-woo sends me running for the hills.
I like the idea of this book. The four faces is interesting … I totally went though that today … eventually ending up in bed, under the covers (avoidance!). Think I’ll give this a go! X
Mmm, under the covers….
Yep, my fave place right now …
Acceptance is definitely something I feel would help me but I struggle with it terribly. Must give this a read 😊
Yeah she uses some cool analogies.
I like that. “What am I going to do about it?”
I´ve to read this book!
This has actually been on my TBR list for a while. It sounds like my kind of book – I personally love these sorts of books that have a touch of humour alongside their advice with easy to read snippets as opposed to lengthy pages with too many scientific terms! Thanks for sharing 😊
Yeah, the humour element definitely makes for easier reading.
I’ve wanted to try this one! Thanks for the review!
I have a collection of F word books! And I’m adding this one, for sure!