I’m definitely not a fan of the whole toxic positivity business, and no, happiness is not a choice (or at least not always). But a while back I stumbled across the Action for Happiness website, and I like their style. I was looking through my journal and came across the 8 pillars of joy I’d made note of from The Book of Joy, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. That made me think of Action for Happiness, hence this post.
Action for Happiness is actually talking less about happiness as a transient emotion and more about the joy described in the Book of Joy. Joy isn’t about situational factors; it’s more an attitude and a state of being. I think this is far more meaningful to seek out than happiness, and there are ways to move in the direction of joy that are more tangible and concrete than trying to summon arbitrary happiness out of nowhere.
GREAT DREAM
Action for Happiness, like the name suggests, focuses on actions that can move you in a more happy/joyful direction. They identify 10 keys to happiness as captured in the acronym GREAT DREAM:
- Giving
- Relating to Others
- Exercising – take care of your body
- Awareness/mindfulness
- Trying out new things
- Direction
- Resilience
- Emotions – look for the good
- Acceptance
- Meaning
Pillars of joy
There’s a fair bit of similarity to the 8 pillars of joy:
- perspective
- humility
- acceptance
- forgiveness
- gratitude
- humour
- generosity
- compassion
Not just choosing happiness
I like that both of these approaches are feasible even when dealing with mental illness, which really isn’t the case for “choose happiness.” Depression-related anhedonia has taken happiness off the menu for me, but these are still things that I can do. These elements are also things that are consistent with moving in a recovery direction.
For more joy-promoting actions, Action for Happiness releases monthly action calendars. Here’s the calendar for January 2021, and today’s action is looking for the good in others and noticing their strengths. I think that’s something we do here in the blogosphere each and every day.
Action for Happiness also has a free 10-day online coaching program called 10 Days of Happiness. I haven’t tried it, but the idea seems good.
What do you think of the idea of pursuing joy/happiness through actions? Do you see a distinction between joy and happiness?
The Coping Toolkit page has a broad collection of resources to support mental health and well-being.
I feel that you are correct about happiness and joy. I believe happiness is a state of mind. My inner being is happy even when my external being is under extreme stress and pain. I am not sure how I could explain joy.
That’s so powerful to be able to experience good in the mind even when things are a mess in the body.
That is credit to the counselling I received while in treatment.
Good stuff!
To me joy is spontaneous, ephemeral, fleeting – Just say the word – does it not always have an exclamation point after it? It is THAT grand of a feeling. Happiness is a feeling, a state of being wherein you are content, satisfied, well pleased with yourself, your life, your situation. Neither Joy! nor happiness are sustained states of being. But that’s just my opinion. that’s my experience.
I wonder what word the Dalai Lama would use for that kind of joy, because he was describing something else. I don’t know if there even is an English word that refers specifically to that kind of sustained state of being.
What do you think of the idea of pursuing joy/happiness through actions? I think, personally, that it’s a mandatory step for anyone suffering from chronic depression. From personal experience, I’ve found that if I don’t consciously choose to find some joy (happiness is out of the question), I’ll become more and more depressed, and eventually that leads to suicidal ideations. So I consciously LOOK for the bright spots. Don’t always find them, but I look anyway.
Do you see a distinction between joy and happiness? Yeah. In my opinion, happiness is a construct, something we’re told (in society) to pursue. It’s not possible for some of us to attain it, and that leads to feelings of failure and more depression. I’ve stopped trying to feel/be ‘happy’. For me it doesn’t exist.
But JOY? That’s attainable, to me that’s a tangible I can see, taste, touch, smell and hear. And to some maybe they call that state of being happiness. I prefer joy.
I think our furry friends would go with joy, too.
I particularly like that last one: happiness as meaning, and tying it in with action, to build a meaningful life.
Excellent article, as always. Thank you for writing and all of the research that goes into your writing, Ashley.
-Shira
Thank you! 💖
You are most welcome! 🙂
What a wonderful and enlightening post. I’m looking forward to participating in the January calendar action items and the 10 day happiness program. A wonderful initiative.
Yes, it’s great that they’ve made all of this available.
I like reasonable practical steps that gradually add up – I am wary of quick fix happiness gurus.
Yeah, it’s not the kind of area where a quick fix is ever likely to work.
Probably we can retrain ourselves with diligent emphasis and practice. It’s just so hard because there are so many steps to being more joyful and there are so many steps to doing everything. And most of the steps to being alive are such a pain in the ass. We think this could be worth trying at some point. Our attitude right now is sour perhaps
Yup, sour happens. Sometimes the pain in the ass factor is just too much of a pain in the ass. ❤️
The Eight Pillars of Joy have a way of really fortifying how this is not an ephemeral or transitory feeling we are after.
I think the fact that leaders from two different faith traditions are agreeing on the same pillars of joy also underscores that this is something solid and universal.
I woke up on New Year’s Day thinking about the difference between happiness and joy. I think we can find joy in our sadness, and it’s only toxic if we never acknowledge our true feelings. I also believe in action steps. Great post!
Thanks! I think what you mentioned about acknowledging our true feelings is key, and denying those feelings is a barrier to joy, not a pathway to get there.
I’d not seen the GREAT DREAM acronym before but I really like it! Totally agree with you about the happiness is a choice stuff – it sure isn’t when you’re suffering with depression! but the middle ground is we do have some choice how we see things and what we do about them – reality is perception in the most part after all, but sometimes reality sucks and there’s no way of seeing it differently. there’s a wonderful book called The Choice – by Edith Edgar a Holocaust survivor that illuminates this point beautifully. Happy new year Ashley and thanks for all you do on here 💞💞xx
Happy New Year! I’ll add The Choice to my list of books to read. 💖
The Action For Happiness site is great, thanks for blogging about it!
Yeah, I was pretty stoked when I first found it!
I’ll jump on anything that might bring me happiness so thanks for this!
Nice pictures 😍 Yes, I agree with you. Giving in actions is pure joy.
Sometimes, I try to put down my ego and give willingly. I also realize that when I give with some expectations in mind, even with good intentions, I will be more likely to end up with less joy.
For me, I feel that it is better to focus on what I am doing every moment, do it whole-heartedly, then let the rest take its course. I am still learning to do this… to love every minor routine in life.
It is hard to differentiate happiness and joy. Maybe what matters is how we feel at heart.❤️
That’s a good point about focusing on the present moment, because that’s where the heart lives.
Yes indeed💖
Wonderful article and thankyou for sharing
Stay wealthy healthy safe and happy
I love this daily calendar … I’m going to print off and try it out.