This post is by Kellie of Kellie’s Journey.
Hello my name is Kellie and I am 38 years old and have suffered with depression and anxiety for nearly 20 years but only got diagnosed 2 and a half years ago.
I have seen counsellors and have tried meditation, mindfulness, yoga, journals, and anything else you can think of I have tried. I only just recently started writing a blog about my mental health and how it effects myself with everyday life.
It is helping me more than I had realized it had, I feel like I am lifting one weight at a time from my shoulders, also it is helping those who are close to me understand what I am feeling and think most days.
When I am writing my blog it is like everything in my head flows through my fingers onto the keyboard and they start typing. When I read it back to either myself or my partner, I tend to find the odd spelling mistake or a sentence than does not make sense and I am able to put it right. I don’t do my blog on a daily bases but tend to do it when I am in the need to off load them weights again, but I do try to get a blog out once a week.
Everyday I find doing certain things harder than what most people do everyday, like brushing my teeth or having a shower or even brushing my hair, some days I do not even get out of bed if I don’t have to. I have just recently gone back to work after having 5 months off, even though my doctor advised against it I couldn’t afford to stay off any longer and now I am just seeing that I wasn’t ready to go back, as I am finding it hard to deal with the customers and finding it hard to get up and go.
I feel like I am trapped most of the time in a world where, there is so much chaos, and I do not know how to deal with it. The medication I am on helps me a little but it can only take me so far (that’s what the doctors say anyway).
How do you know what to do if you don’t know what it is that makes you feel the way you do? I have tried to find my root cause as some say that if you find it and deal with it you can move on, but I have dealt with that and many more other things along the way and I still feel like I am carrying the weight on my shoulders. I feel like even though some days are better than others, the bad days still outweigh them.
Visit Kellie on her blog Kellie’s Journey.