Liar Liar by Laurie Katz tells her story of being raped in her first year of college, and the school’s (mis)handling of the matter. It’s part of the Inspirational series by Trigger Publishing, a mental health publisher.
The book opens with the night she was raped. Afterwards, contrary to society’s expectations that someone go to ER for a rape kit and report to police, she followed the more human instinct to go home and spend hours in the shower.
The author shares that she was very drunk when she was raped by a guy she’d just met, and she remembers saying the words “you can take my bra off if you want to.” She’s very open about how much she questioned herself because of that, despite the bruises and bite marks on her body, and it comes up repeatedly through the book as she tells her story. She writes “I felt dirty. I felt responsible.”
From when she first reported the incident to student housing staff, it’s clear that the school’s handling of it was a disaster. She was told to deal with it through the school rather than going to police, and the school’s response is jaw-dropping. The VP of student affairs threw out an assortment of rape myths, and then told her “We might have to put a letter in your file so that if something like this ever happens again, we’ll know it’s ‘Liar Laurie.’” Laurie’s story is a perfect example of how a school should not to handle a student complaint.
The book also addresses the significant impact the rape had on Laurie’s mental health; she already had a history of depression from high school. Eventually, she was able to find a therapist who she says saved her life.
Laurie writes about the effect her assault had on her relationships with others. Describing an incident when a guy had pushed her boundaries, she wrote that she’d come to associate “nice guys” with ulterior motives. “Their niceness means the world owes them, and to ‘friendzone’ a ‘nice guy’ is the highest offense. ‘Nice guys’ aren’t really nice at all. ‘Nice guys’ have a similar mentality to rapists. It’s not about the phone number or the kiss or sex, it’s about needing power over another person.”
The book closes by addressing broader issues such as rape culture, victim blaming, and the fact that female students are warned what they should do to prevent being raped, but there’s no effort to tell anyone not to rape.
Liar Liar is well written, and offers an interesting insight into what it’s like to be sexually assaulted within the context of campus culture and universities that are more interested in protecting themselves than their students. This is clearly an important issue where there’s much left to be done. Just a short time before I read this book, I happened to read Chanel Miller’s victim impact statement as Emily Doe in the case against her rapist, Stanford swimmer Brock Turner. This isn’t an individual matter, it’s a cultural matter.
The only thing I struggled with while reading this book was that it was only loosely in chronological order. My own concentration is at a place where I sometimes wasn’t sure of the sequence of events, but the overall story was still clear, and I suspect it wouldn’t be a problem for someone who’s not operating at mashed potato brains level, where I am.
Aside from that minor issue, though, I thought the book was really well done, and Laurie’s story is one that needs to be heard.
Liar Liar is available on Amazon (affiliate link).
I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
You can find my other reviews on the MH@H book review index or on Goodreads.
What a sad situation. Labels often make things worse. In this case, the “nice” guy was anything but “nice,” regardless of how he seemed in other venues.
Yup.
Rape is so demeaning. I agree that it is about power.
Definimtely.
The school needs to ‘man up’ among other people. In what mind can it be ‘ok’ to do that, calling her a liar?!
Somethings are right and some things are wrong. I don’t see a blurred line when it comes to sexual assault or rape.
Absolutely.
I first thought ‘what a pretty cover’, then you realise how ironic and at odds it is to the content. I’ve never spoken to anyone about ‘experiences’ I’ve had, but I’m grateful to others that speak out and I’m glad she’s been able to work through things enough to put this together. The uni culture is pretty scary because it makes you wonder how many women, and men, there are out there who’ve experienced sexual assault of some kind only to be unsupported or even ousted and called a liar by the the very industry that’s supposed to be supporting, protecting and nurturing them. Thanks for sharing this, Ashley, you’ve done a great job with your review. xx
Thanks! Yeah, in a university culture where heavy drinking and casual sex are the norm, how many people who’ve been victimized are going to trust anyone to believe them? I’m sure it’s hugely under-reported.
Shocking, particularly the “liar Laurie” bit. Some people have no empathy.
Yes, and it really shouldn’t take much empathy to do better than “liar Laurie.”
I think these writings are so important and take such courage. The dismissal and blame that still occur is unbelievable and does support the secrecy and lack of offender accountability. I think these brave women are to be commended in taking the pain staking steps in making their stories public. It is this that can shift the entrenched belief systems around this difficult topic. Thank you for sharing this.
If the chorus of voices is loud enough, hopefully that will make change inevitable.
This sounds like such a powerful read – it’s incredibly shocking how the school dealt with it, and even more upsetting that it’s probably something that happens all too often. x
Yeah, it’s really time for a big cultural shift around this kind of thing.
Wow, this sounds incredibly powerful. The “Liar Laurie” thing is absolutely infuriating, and it’s also heartbreaking how she blames herself for the event at first. It reminds me how no matter how far we’ve come as a society in believing victims, we still need to do so much better.
Definitely.