In this emerging blogger post, Emma from Mental Health Matters writes about what it’s like to experience premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
Hello, my name is Emma and this is a piece I wrote for my blog in 2018. Since writing this article, I have found a treatment that is helping me. I have a disease called PMDD, and the supplement I am taking is called Jubilance for PMS. Jubilance has reduced the negative symptoms of this disease. This entry was written to raise awareness for PMDD and connect to others who have it. I hope you find solace in this blog article!
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder Explained
Like PMS, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) causes physical and emotional symptoms, before and around the time a woman gets her period. However it is much more severe than PMS. Most women with PMDD find their symptoms very debilitating as they often negatively affect school, work, friendships, romantic relationships, and more. PMDD is related to low levels of serotonin, which is a chemical in the brain that helps transmit nerve signals, and low levels of serotonin can cause severe depression. Brain cells that use serotonin also control overall mood, attention span, sleep, and pain. Because PMDD includes hormonal changes that reduce levels of serotonin, one that has it suffers greatly. Basically, if you have PMDD, a few days before your period this is what may happen:
- You can’t concentrate
- You feel faint and dizzy
- It’s hard to communicate in a clear and professional manner
- You feel angry at everyone around you
- Everything in your life feels hopeless and negative
- You have nightmares
- You feel drunk
- You either can’t sleep or sleep too much
- You don’t want to be around people
You have nasty feelings towards people, and have a hard time controlling your behavior, acting out and being mean but feeling as though you can’t help it, and that you’ve been possessed by the devil version of yourself. You also have very low self esteem. You feel like life is a black hole.
You forget that this will go away in less than five days, that you’re just suffering from PMDD, and you don’t know how to deal with it as its happening. Once it’s over, you feel like you just woke up from a bad dream and everything is okay again. You feel the need to go on an apology tour to everyone in your life that you hurt while you were possessed by the devil version of yourself. If you are lucky, the people in your life will understand and love you unconditionally, but it may affect relationships.
PMDD is pretty common, and as someone that has it, I find it to be very brutal. I am on medication but it doesn’t really work during this time. I just always feel like it’s the first time every time I have it. Then as soon as it passes I feel like a fool for all the craziness that went on in my head and for my erratic behavior. People say that you should be able to prepare for it, but for me it’s like I have amnesia, every month it feels like I’m experiencing it for the first time. At this point my parents, sister, and boyfriend know that around the 22nd to the 30th of every month that I will not be myself. I feel terrible for the way I treat people because I lash out. I don’t know, it just comes over me. This darkness. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone in the world.
quick share: * I am extremely lucky to have the kindest most loving boyfriend in the world. After a horrible night of PMDD, where I acted very harshly towards him, I said “Why do you still want to date me? I’m a monster” he just smiled and said “well you’re my monster” and I said “I have been so mean tonight, I feel terrible” and he put his arms around me and said “I’m gonna cuddle the mean right outta you.”
I am grateful.
You can find Emma on her blog Mental Health Matters.