In this series, I dig a little deeper into the meaning of psychology-related terms. This week’s terms are jealousy and envy.
The terms jealousy and envy are often used synonymously, but they actually refer to two separate, although related, emotions. They’re both social emotions, in that we experience them in relation to other people.
Envy
Envy comes from a sense of personal lacking compared to another person’s abilities, achievements, or possessions. It may serve as a defence mechanism to counter shame. Envy can be malignant or benign, with benign envy potentially being a useful source of motivation. It may have played a useful role in evolutionary survival drives. We may be more likely to feel malignant envy if we believe that someone has an unfair advantage or has cheated in some way.
Envy can involve feelings of inferiority, longing for the object of envy, resentment, and a desire to possess the qualities of the other person. It can trigger guilt as a secondary emotion, as people judge themselves for feeling envious. Envy is also associated with ruminative thinking.
Envy is also associated with depression, and feelings of inferiority and defeat may lead to withdrawal and avoidance.
The concept of schadenfreude, which involves taking pleasure in others’ misfortunes, is related to envy but with a twist; instead of feeling displeasure at another person’s happiness, it’s feeling good about things going badly for them.
Jealousy
Jealousy involves a fear of loss, along with distrust, anxiety, and anger. It may relate to fear of betrayal, and in extreme cases, it can be a factor in spousal homicide.
So envy is a sort of “I want your…” while jealousy is “don’t take my…”
How jealousy and envy show up
Envy and jealousy both make an appearance in religious texts. Envy is one of Catholicism’s seven deadly sins, while the Book of Exodus states “I the LORD your God am a jealous God.” According to Islam Q&A, the Islamic Hadith makes reference to Allah’s protective jealousy (gheerah) which is provoked when followers do things that Allah has prohibited.
Children can begin to experience envy and jealousy at an early age, such as when a younger sibling is born. One study found that dogs can also display jealous behaviour related to competition for the owner’s attention.
Work in therapy can be done on accepting rather than judging one’s feelings of envy, reframing envy as admiration, reducing avoidance, and addressing associated cognitive distortions and rumination. When dealing with jealousy, attachment issues and problems within the relationship can be useful to explore.
I think envy is more of an issue for me than jealousy, mostly because I don’t really have many relationships and I don’t really have anything that people might threaten to take. But who doesn’t get caught up in a bit of envy now and again? To me, it just seems like a very basic part of human existence, and it only really causes problems if a) you can’t call yourself out on it, and b) you get stuck in it and can’t let it go. As for jealousy, if it’s good enough for the God of the Abrahamic religions, then it should be okay sometimes for the rest of us too. As long as we don’t go killing our partners because of it. That’s taking things a smidge too far (heavy on the sarcasm).
Do envy or jealousy play a prominent role in your life?
References
- Leahy, R. L. (2021). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for envy. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 45(3), 418-427.
- Moore, M. (2021). How insecurity leads to envy, jealousy, and shame. PsychCentral.
- Parrott, W. G., & Smith, R. H. (1993). Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(6), 906.
- Seidman, G. (2014). What’s really behind jealousy, and what to do about it. Psychology Today.
- Wikipedia: Envy | Jealousy
The Psychology Corner has an overview of terms covered in the What Is… series, along with a collection of scientifically validated psychological tests.
Ashley L. Peterson
BScPharm BSN MPN
Ashley is a former mental health nurse and pharmacist and the author of four books.
Book of Exodus states “I the LORD your God am a jealous God.”
Most modern Jewish translations don’t translate like that any more. The JPS Bible says “an impassioned God” and I think The Living Torah says, “A God who desires exclusive worship.” God doesn’t have emotions in a human sense, the language of the Bible is anthropomorphic and describes how we perceive God, not what God actually “feels”.
Certainly the Jewish tradition does not say to imitate God in this way, viewing jealousy as corrosive to the individual experiencing it as much as to anyone else. (Jews have, after all, often been accused to growing rich on wealth that others claimed belonged rightly to them.)
One is allowed to be envious of good deeds and Torah study, though, because that spurs one on to improve oneself.
That’s interesting. In my mom’s old Oxford Bible that I have it uses the term jealous. I wonder if that’s a difference between Jewish and Christian interpretation, or more an issue of differences depending on the various editions of the Christian Bible.
I suspect it’s a lot more about how new the translation is, and how indebted to the King James Bible.
I do feel envious sometimes when I see other people my age who seem to be healthy, reasonably well-off, married, with children etc. and I see that I’m stuck unemployed and mentally ill and single with no change in sight. It can turn into jealousy if I irrationally feel that they have somehow taken what I deserved, particularly if they’re people who I don’t think are very good morally or who hurt me in the past and I feel that they’ve been rewarded for bad behaviour and I’ve been punished for good behaviour.
I get a similar kind of jealousy sometimes that tends to be quite career-focused.
I can honestly admit, that neither plays a role in my life. To me… I happy for people that have it all, as long as it was done honestly.
To me being jealous and experience envy is a waste of time and effort. I have plenty of other things to be concerned with.
That’s a great approach!
Thanks. 😊
Very well explained topic and quite thought-provoking. Well done! Thank you 🙂
Great writing. Very interesting. I get both envious and jealous at times. But I try not to ….even though it’s somewhat of an automatic response sometimes. I definitely have to work on my self esteem.
I like Beckiesmentalmess.workdress.com’s approach as well.
Yeah it’s hard not to get those automatic responses, but still something we can work on.
I absolutely agree.
It’s so important & interesting to delve deeper into these meanings that we all know on the surface, but haven’t properly thought about. great post x
Thanks!
Absolutely love this ! First I did not know that there’s difference between envy and jealousy. second I love how you explain it referring to both “Christian” and “Islamic” way ! Really Respect that!
Thanks!
Very well explained.i envy people with money coz if I would have it now I would be free from very toxic relationship
Yes money can be very freeing sometimes.