Why feminism helps all of us

Millicent Fawcett statue: Courage calls to courage everywhere

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay

It’s easy to think of feminism as something that’s solely about boosting up the status of women.  I would argue, though, that feminism is something that can lift us all up.

Feminism beliefs may be enacted in different ways, but at its core feminism recognizes how women have been disadvantaged by traditional gender roles, stereotypes, and expectations.  These gender stereotypes are so firmly ingrained that it’s easy to assume that they’re inherent in biology, but it’s important not to lose sight of how socially based these ideas are.  It’s also worth keeping in mind that women are not the only ones that are negatively impacted by our highly gendered society.

The stereotypical male gender role does not display emotion or vulnerability, and males are expected to “man up” and show no weakness.  They are expected to be competitive and self-reliant.  All of this has created an environment where toxic masculinity can thrive, as males are pushed from a young age to conform to these harmful standards.  I have to wonder whether incels (involuntary celibates) would exist, or at least be as organized as they are, without the seed of toxic masculinity.

Gender also plays a role in how likely men are to seek help for their mental health.  The stereotypical female is expected to be emotional and “weak”, and men are expected to take care of business themselves.  It’s already hard enough to access mental health care without having additional barriers related to gender.

Unfortunately, feminism is sometimes put into practice in a manner that excludes rather than includes.  A few years ago I was attending volunteer training sessions at a women’s crisis shelter.  They refused to allow trans women to stay in their shelter, and their reasoning was that trans women didn’t have the experience of being raised female from birth.  Al volunteers had to sign an agreement saying they were prepared to comply with that policy.  I didn’t end up volunteering with that organization because I didn’t agree with that and some of their other beliefs, and recently the city announced they were cutting funding to that group.  I think it’s really unfortunate when feminism is practiced in a way that is divisive rather than uniting, because change on a broader scale really only comes from people coming together.

I also believe that feminism shouldn’t be about rejecting gender stereotype-associated behaviours altogether.  If I were to choose to shave my legs and be a stay-at-home mom because that’s my personal preference, that shouldn’t make me less of a feminist.  Feminism should be about escaping constraints, not placing new ones on people.  Having freedom and choice includes being able to choose from as wide an array of options as possible, even if some of those options do fit elements of a stereotype.

Many occupations continue to be divided along gender lines.  These social expectations limit both men and women.  The fact that a gender-based wage gap still exists strikes me as bizarre; how in this day and age can men and women be paid differently for the same work?  If that kind of pay inequity exists, that can’t bode well for people from any groups that tend to be disadvantaged, like racial minorities or people with disabilities.  We need pay equity across the board, and narrowing the gender-based gap is only one step.

Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of a world where his children “will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  I’d say that applies just as well to any other superficial characteristic by which a person may be judged.  As suffragette Millicent Fawcett said, “courage calls to courage everywhere.”  We need to heed that call together.

Share this:
Sponsored Links

49 thoughts on “Why feminism helps all of us

  1. Invisibly Me says:

    I wouldn’t have been inclined to volunteer with that crisis shelter given their policy, either. You’re right, sometimes feminism in practice can exclude rather than include. You’ve covered a lot of ground with this and quite rightly point out that there’s still a divide in society, including where occupations and wages are concerned. xx

  2. Meg says:

    That explains so much to me about an issue that has always confused me! You make so many good points! Yeah, it’s like, if someone wants to play a gender role, why not? If they don’t want to play a gender role, why not? I’ve always felt sorry for men and the burdens placed upon them to be unemotional all the time. Personally, I’m happier to have the female burdens. This makes no sense (I’m a bit sleep-deprived this fine morning), but if I go out and get into an argument with a stranger, that person’s way less likely to take a swing at me because I’m female. I’m oddly grateful for that! Thanks for helping to clarify the issue of feminism! I’ve never had a good grasp on the concept.

    • ashleyleia says:

      Funny how the “you shouldn’t hit a lady” mentality has been trained into a lot of men, but at the same time, when there’ partner violence it’s usually the men hitting the women.

  3. Revenge of Eve says:

    Luckily I was raised that if you hit a man you better be prepared to be hit like a man and that I have. I have been the aggressor more times than I like to admit but nonetheless took it without complaint. There are so many valid points in this post and your delivery is clearly not a one- sided opinion. This post is a clear example of why I support all of your opinions and even more so why I consider you a friend. You are definitely more understanding of the man species than myself 😂😂😂 but I give credit where credit is due. Thanks for this, Ashley. You never cease to amaze me.

  4. Clive says:

    I can relate to men coming forward to speak how they are feeling. It took a lot for me to finally seek help when I was depressed. “What’s the matter with you man up, you will be alright tomorrow” springs to mind 😩

  5. Self Saving Warrior Princess says:

    As the quintessential “house fiancée,” I’m always put off by those who can’t understand my enjoyment of cooking and cleaning while also hating traditional relationship roles.

    Don’t tell me I have to cook and clean because I’m a woman, but don’t take that choice from me either.

  6. Fae >Just a Tinder Girl says:

    Such a great post! As others have said, I think sometimes people think feminism is only for certain groups, but it isn’t, it benefits us all by allowing us to have choices that others in history haven’t been given the option of 🙂

  7. zazaxmilesoff says:

    Feminism is so important, thank you for your take on it. I write about feminism on my blog, trying to cover different topics and review books on the topic or by strong women. I like that you also cover how feminism can benefit men. About feminism that isn’t inclusive: I find it hard to even call that feminism then. To me a feminist fights all inequality!

Leave a Reply