In this series, I dig a little deeper into the meaning of psychology-related terms. This week’s terms are jealousy and envy.
The terms jealousy and envy are often used synonymously, but they actually refer to two separate, although related, emotions. They’re both social emotions, in that we experience them in relation to other people.
Envy
Envy comes from a sense of personal lacking compared to another person’s abilities, achievements, or possessions. It may serve as a defence mechanism to counter shame. Envy can be malignant or benign, with benign envy potentially being a useful source of motivation. It may have played a useful role in evolutionary survival drives. We may be more likely to feel malignant envy if we believe that someone has an unfair advantage or has cheated in some way.
Envy can involve feelings of inferiority, longing for the object of envy, resentment, and a desire to possess the qualities of the other person. It can trigger guilt as a secondary emotion, as people judge themselves for feeling envious. Envy is also associated with ruminative thinking.
Envy is also associated with depression, and feelings of inferiority and defeat may lead to withdrawal and avoidance.
The concept of schadenfreude, which involves taking pleasure in others’ misfortunes, is related to envy but with a twist; instead of feeling displeasure at another person’s happiness, it’s feeling good about things going badly for them.
Jealousy
Jealousy involves a fear of loss, along with distrust, anxiety, and anger. It may relate to fear of betrayal, and in extreme cases, it can be a factor in spousal homicide.
So envy is a sort of “I want your…” while jealousy is “don’t take my…”
How jealousy and envy show up
Envy and jealousy both make an appearance in religious texts. Envy is one of Catholicism’s seven deadly sins, while the Book of Exodus states “I the LORD your God am a jealous God.” According to Islam Q&A, the Islamic Hadith makes reference to Allah’s protective jealousy (gheerah) which is provoked when followers do things that Allah has prohibited.
Children can begin to experience envy and jealousy at an early age, such as when a younger sibling is born. One study found that dogs can also display jealous behaviour related to competition for the owner’s attention.
Work in therapy can be done on accepting rather than judging one’s feelings of envy, reframing envy as admiration, reducing avoidance, and addressing associated cognitive distortions and rumination. When dealing with jealousy, attachment issues and problems within the relationship can be useful to explore.
I think envy is more of an issue for me than jealousy, mostly because I don’t really have many relationships and I don’t really have anything that people might threaten to take. But who doesn’t get caught up in a bit of envy now and again? To me, it just seems like a very basic part of human existence, and it only really causes problems if a) you can’t call yourself out on it, and b) you get stuck in it and can’t let it go. As for jealousy, if it’s good enough for the God of the Abrahamic religions, then it should be okay sometimes for the rest of us too. As long as we don’t go killing our partners because of it. That’s taking things a smidge too far (heavy on the sarcasm).
Do envy or jealousy play a prominent role in your life?
References
- Leahy, R. L. (2021). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for envy. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 45(3), 418-427.
- Moore, M. (2021). How insecurity leads to envy, jealousy, and shame. PsychCentral.
- Parrott, W. G., & Smith, R. H. (1993). Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(6), 906.
- Seidman, G. (2014). What’s really behind jealousy, and what to do about it. Psychology Today.
- Wikipedia: Envy | Jealousy
The Psychology Corner has an overview of terms covered in the What Is… series, along with a collection of scientifically validated psychological tests.
Ashley L. Peterson
BScPharm BSN MPN
Ashley is a former mental health nurse and pharmacist and the author of four books.