In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown cautions that depression and anxiety may result when we trade in authenticity for safety. This really resonated for me, as safety has become something that I grasp onto as tightly as possible wherever I can find it. Meg from Why does bad advice happen to good people? suggested when … Continue reading What Do We Give Up For Safety?
Yes, I realize the post title doesn't go with the hobbit house photo, but I liked it, so there you have it. Anyway... Home has had various meanings for me over the course of my life, and I think it's probably more important now than it's ever been. I grew up in a small town … Continue reading My Fortress of Solitude
I've written before about cognitive distortions, and in this post I'm going to focus on overgeneralization. When something bad happens, the message I take from that is the world is an unsafe place. This feeling of being unsafe spreads from whatever is related to the problematic event to the world in general. People hurt me, … Continue reading Overgeneralizing an unsafe world
I had a tough weekend. It started off badly with a friend contacting my brother to check up on me, which rocked the walls of the little cave I've built for myself. And then something happened with my safe person that made me feel very unsafe. The dark voice inside my head kept repeating "He's … Continue reading Allowing vulnerability
I've had a pretty shitty last couple of years. There have been multiple people in a variety of different contexts who have treated me like crap, including people whose role (in theory) was to help me. While I don't have PTSD, I do feel traumatized by the things that have happened to me, and that … Continue reading Finding safety without armour