Weekend Wrap-Up

Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • I happened to notice this week that a couple of people who at one point did emerging blogger guest posts on my site have gotten really big on Instagram. One has 60K followers and the other has 88K. Given that so few people get that kind of reach online, it’s kind of cool, but also kind of weird, to see people that I knew before they got big. It seems like being that big would mean a different kind of interaction, which I’m not sure I would want. Or maybe IG follower numbers are as meaningless as WP follower numbers. I’m at almost 10K, but it actually means sweet diddly squat (ps, if you get impressed by high WP follower numbers, it’s a lot less impressive than it looks—the spammy percentage increases substantially the more followers you get).
  • I had noticed a while back that some articles on some random narcissistic abuse website were indexed on Google Scholar, which is odd, because Google Scholar is for academic works, like journal articles. I did some digging, learned some new tricks, and Google Scholar has indexed my new book! I’m fairly certain that no one is going to find it that way, and that’s totally okay; the satisfaction comes from success in getting it on there.
  • I had a rather unpleasant telephone doctor appointment this week. He wasn’t interested in hearing about the 2 dermatological issues I have going on (one is what I’m fairly sure is a basal cell carcinoma, and the other I think might be an indicator of an autoimmune condition); he wanted to just do a dermatology referral without seeing me, or even asking any questions at all about the potential autoimmune issue. In fact, he didn’t seem to want to deal with me, full stop, and he seemed quite turned off by the fact that my mental health hasn’t been good and my speech is quite bad. He told me “what you’re doing isn’t working.” Well thanks, asshole. What you’re doing sure the fuck isn’t working either. The appointment ended with him reluctantly saying he’d call in some meds for me. No requisition for lab work, even though that needed doing. No in-person. No follow-up plan. No nothing. I have strong doubts about whether he’s even going to actually do the dermatology referral, because he seemed to be too caught up in the psych stuff that he wanted to make an issue out of to pay much attention to the derm stuff (there’s a name for that; it’s “diagnostic overshadowing”).

    This was actually the first time I’d talked to him since the disability application fiasco at the end of last year, and I think he’s freaked out by the hospital records I provided him with that talk about my past suicide attempts. I decided to submit a complaint to the College of Physicians. It won’t accomplish much, and it’s certainly not going to win me any friends, but I might as well point out that this bullshit is not okay. And if creates even a minor pain in the ass for him, all the better.
  • Stress makes me slower. Neither mind nor body are particularly functional right now.
  • Seen on LinkedIn: “Negative people are like clouds, when they disappear it’s a beautiful day!” My reaction: Oh fuck off.
  • There’s a new lady northern flicker woodpecker hanging around my balcony. It seems like an odd time of year for woodpecker dating season.
  • I don’t usually clench/grind my teeth while sleeping, but I have been lately, which means waking up with headaches. Blech.

This is Butternut getting very excited about a blanket that smells like the girls. He’s such a silly little horndog.

How has your week been?

Mental Health @ Home Books by Ashley L. Peterson - book covers
Mental Health @ Home Books by Ashley L. Peterson –
You can find them on my Amazon author page.

68 thoughts on “Weekend Wrap-Up”

  1. Ugh that Doc sounds like quite an @$$ to be honest! I do hope your complaints will be taken seriously. Is there someone that you may go to instead?
    The little pigs were quite cute 😉
    Have a fab weekend!

        1. Again, I commented under someone’s else comment. WordPress doesn’t give me an option to start my own one. Oh well…

      1. Your doc has a lovely grasp of the obvious. Too bad he couldn’t take it a step further and take action on your behalf, and help you. Grrr!

  2. Congrats on the book getting indexed! Boo on shitty docs who won’t listen. I’ve had a few, which makes me appreciate my current one even more. I hope you get seen ASAP for the possible carcinoma and get whatever else you need. Grrrr! Yes, the followers… omg I have a Monday Peeve scheduled about that (not the numbers so much as the annoying “do nothing” followers)…

    My week was better than the last few because my pain level has returned to “normal,” lol. Still have to be careful of my lower back, but not having my left leg throb all day is good news!

  3. I played the video of Butternut 3 times in a row and I expect I will be playing it several times more! 💓 Such cute little chirpy whoops.

    I was loving my new PCP until this week when I sent him a message via the Patient Portal and have received no response. Guess I’ll book a televisit just need him to authorize a test *sigh*

  4. Good for you standing up about your doctor. I believe doctors can become so bitter the longer they practice they just convince themselves they’ve seen it all and don’t make any effort anymore. It’s a sad reality. I hope you’re doing well despite this.

  5. So nice to hear that Google Scholar has indexed your new book! That seems like quite an accomplishment to me. As well as the number of followers you have. Mine seems minute by comparison.

    So sorry about the problems with the doctor — it seems that stigma against mental health and mental illness often includes members of the medical establishment.

    My therapist once told me that when a mentally ill patient is admitted to the ER, all doctors in the ER freak out. This shows to me that they just don’t have enough training in mental illness and that reflects poorly upon them when a patient with mental illness shows up for care. They simply don’t know how to handle the patient or the illness.

    If the doctors themselves cannot practice without imposing stigma, what does that say about the rest of society and stigma?

    Hope your weekend goes better than last week…:)

      1. In my 35 year history of carrying a mental health diagnosis around (like a ton of bricks) I find there are two kinds of health professionals that choose to focus on mental health. One) if they have a sibling or a family member who has mental health problems or are genuinely interested in helping people with mental health diagnoses. and Two) (this group is more found in the mental health world of the 80s and 90s) those people who are interested in abnormal behavior and deviations from the norm.

        This second group is interested in the oddities of mental health diagnoses and tend to be more interested in “experiencing” through their patients the full spectrum of human behavior rather than actually helping people with a mental health diagnosis. This second group of professionals tends to get satisfaction from “experiencing” or “understanding” the outliers in the behavioral health world rather than actually treating that behavior.

        This second group of people does not typically humanize their patients so much as use them as props in their own emotional development and thereby do little to address their own innate stigma against their patients.

        Too harsh? I don’t think so. But it should be noted that this second group of professionals was more evident (to me) in earlier years like the 1980s and 1990s.

  6. Time for a new doctor!! Why is it that it is so hard to find doctors out there take people seriously? It seems like the majority of them are so dismissive and cold. It shouldn’t be that way.

  7. That’s annoying about the doctor.

    I feel sorry Butternut, it must be like being a teenage boy being turned on by raunchy adverts, TV etc. with no release.

  8. So annoying to hear this that getting a proper appointment with your doctor is still a problem, on top of stigma by the doctor.
    I hope something is taken seriously in your complaint on this. Seeing a doctor, or trying to see a doctor shouldn’t add on further stress, on top of what you already have.

    I love seeing Butternut.

    I have chosen not to see mum for another week with my moods up and down. But I hope to see her this coming Friday and get a morning appointment with her, wih me being off work.

    Other is mostly playing music in some form of either my Glee dvd’s, or my cd’s and recently sorting out my new mp3 player.

    Mostly a day with a friend, where I lived before. Last drink of tea before bed. Shall get up when I wake up tomorrow and my plan is to go to my local supermarket, priority being the bakery section to pick up some ‘Wicked’ cookies, after discovering them recently along with also jam donuts in same brand, while picking up a few other bits. But that my priority bit, the bakery section. 😁 Then I will watch a film, before going back to my music of dvd’s and cd’s and just having a relaxing day.

  9. that doc sounds like a real asshole! I’m glad your making a complaint! He deserves to be stressed and get a taste of what that feels like. Woohoo about your book being on google scholar! So awesome!

  10. I still think nearly 10k is eye-watering. I don’t know how anyone gets to that let alone 60k, on any social media platform.

    Congratulations on being a Google Scholar indexed author!

    What the hell does “what you’re doing isn’t working” mean? What is it that you’re doing? Causing yourself a potential basal cell carcinoma and autoimmune condition through the stress of dealing with medical morons?

    I hope you hear back about the dermatology referral soon. It should be flagged as urgent when there’s a potential carcinoma concern alone.

    I think you’ve done incredibly well to write a complaint. So the College Of Physicians – this will be directly about that doctor, and they’ll review it, see whether they feel action needs to be taken? Sounds a bit like the GMC in our country. I’ve had to report a surgeon to them and they were like wet lettuce, so I hope you get a better response. It’s good to vent it out and to try to make some positive changes any way possible. That shit is not okay. But sadly it seems so ingrained that I personally think a lot of docs need ousting because they won’t change.

    1. I’m expecting wet lettuce. And I agree, there are a lot of docs who could use ousting. There should be an “Are you an asshat?” assessment on their annual license renewals. If they score too high on the asshat scale, they’d be forced to do “be treated like a patient” training before they’re allowed to continue practicing. Hmm, I’m quite liking that idea…

  11. Your doctor needs a serious attitude adjustment. What an a-hole. I’ve started grinding my teeth again too so now I’m back to wearing my sexy nightguard :/

  12. That doctor is an asshole! Glad you’re filing a complaint. Yay, the woodpeckers are back. I’ve been keeping up with for years at this point. I too have been stress grinding my teeth at night. I wear a retainer but still have headaches. My week was interesting… I discharged a teen asshole who thought he could be racist and homophobic in his Black therapist’s presence. Then the dad gaslit me, which was a delight. Fuck ‘em! I have plenty of people waiting to fill that slot 🤑

  13. That doc can fuck right off! Congrats to you for filing a complaint. I’ve done that a time or two myself, though not in psych. I’ve been pretty lucky with my treatment there.

    Have a good rest of your weekend, and I hope what referrals you got, leave you with good news.

  14. Ugh I’m a teeth clencher. I actually chipped one of my teeth doing it. I have a lot of muscle tension when stressed. The fun never ends, does it? 🥴

  15. I’m so pissed reading about the doctor fiasco you’re dealing with. I’m so sorry and wish I could say something that would help or guide you. Don’t give up. I know it’s far-reaching but is there a medical center that does a combined traditional and holistic integrated health thing? I heard about it in BC years ago and I know someone who has greatly benefitted in having everyone on your team talk to each other and respect their input… I don’t know. There is much to worry about when it comes to optimal health these days.

    I hope you find your way.

  16. Re: People you knew before they got Instafamous, someone from my high school, whom I knew fairly well although we were not close friends, was on a reality TV show. So that was kind of a similar experience in a way.

    Sorry about your experience with the doc

  17. It can be really interesting sometimes to see people getting big when you knew them before they got big. I don’t really do social media but based on what I hear from Sofi I wouldn’t think follower numbers are particularly meaningful anywhere these days though.
    That’s pretty cool with Google Scholar and interesting that it’s doable.
    Sheesh, this whole healthcare saga you’ve been dealing with is unnerving! And these dermatologic issues you’re having sound potentially concerning so I really wish you had access to someone else who’s more competent than this. Your doctor sounds extremely insightful if the only thing he was able to say was that “What you’re doing isn’t working”. It’s a pity he didn’t have any other ideas as for what you could do instead, that could have been interesting to hear. 😀 No wonder the stress is affecting you a lot and you’re grinding your teeth in your sleep.
    Oh but it works very similarly with the “positive” people really, doesn’t it?! 😀 They are like scorching sun and make you feel smothered by their oh so positive glow and heat so that you can barely feel anything else, and when they disappear, it feels so refreshing and like there’s already a lot more space to live and breathe and pour our little gloomy rain drops all over the world and ourselves to heal the third degree burns that we’ve acquired during the day.
    For me I’ve had a rather meh week, with lots of really weird anxiety and Jack the Ripper thrown into the mix, perhaps that’s what’s driving the anxiety but I’m not sure. Thankfully it has alleviated a little over the weekend.

  18. Wondering if you can get a different doctor? Not sure how all that works.

    I had a decent week. Something “broke” and I was able to come up with a fourth song of the five I’m trying to prepare for Keva to sing. I’m writing on Sunday night, so I can report that I also finally got a paycheck from the new job. I can actually negotiate it tomorrow, next stop is Goodwill to amp up my “wardrobe” (if you want to call it that). Played piano at the nursing homes today for the second time, which is a nice gig. Makes me feel like I’m doing something good for someone somehow. Anyway it was an all right week.

    1. It’s definitely time to find a new doctor. Most GPs around here aren’t taking new patients, but I think I may have found one who is.

      That’s great that you’re playing at nursing homes! I bet the residents really appreciate it.

  19. What a terrible doctor, ugh. String of cursewords. What a jerk. I hate how non holistic medicine seems to be, globally. In addition to prejudiced medical doctors.

    My current GP is ok simply because he openly admits he doesn’t understand mental illness but isn’t judgy beyond “why do you have so many psychiatric problems? Oh child abuse? Errr ok.”

    Don’t know how he’s respond if I tell him he’s wrong about psych meds not affecting my body however.

    Took ages to get referred and have the appointment but yeah, hoping my new endocrinologist can help. She readily agreed that psych meds also affect the body.

    Congratulations on getting your book indexed!

    Also regarding WP bloggers going big on Instagram… yeah I don’t know how to interact anymore. 😅

      1. I feel like doctors ought to spend… a month in a special psychiatric ward (with no other real patients, just all doctors going thru this) where they get treated as though they are/had a history of psychosis, with “current” (fake of course) diagnoses of anxiety and depression…where staff all don’t believe them on physical health etc.

        I attended a training once where the psychiatrist trainer had 2 volunteers have a conversation. While 2 trainers talked to 1 volunteer (simulating audio hallucinations). Actually really liked that because people suddenly realised how prejudiced they were.

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