I know some bloggers use their blog much like a journal. That was never really the direction I wanted to go with my blog, but also, I find it more useful to blog about things after the fact rather than during. In general, I’ve always tended to like having a chance to chew over things in my head before releasing them out into the open.
I’ve always been a pretty introspective person, and reflection is a process that’s important to me. I usually feel pretty comfortable inside my head, and I like to understand what’s going on in there. Some things are best left tucked away in boxes, but I still like to know the lay of the land. I think I’d feel very disoriented in the outside world if I didn’t feel pretty well-anchored inside my own head. That sense of anchoring can be harder the worse my depression is, and that loss of anchor is one of my least favourite parts of the really low mood times.
I used to journal fairly regularly to help me work through whatever was happening in my life. These days, my life is pretty slow, which is how I want it. That means that on a day-to-day basis, there isn’t a lot to work through. In that case, the combination of what I can do in my head plus bullet journalling plus blogging is enough.
When more is going on, I’m more likely to return to reflection-oriented journalling. I do it in my bullet journal, and I tend to organize that part by topic rather than by date. For me, reflective journalling involves a different thought process than when I’m doing reflective posts on the blog. If I’m blogging about something, it’s because I’ve already got coherent thoughts in my head. They might go in a different direction than expected once I start writing, but there’s a solid starting point.
When I journal, I tend to start from a place of confusion and then see what develops as I write. Sometimes I stay confused, while other times, as I write, it’s like a lightbulb goes on and I realize how I want to approach whatever the issue is. Those times when I stay confused, I’ll usually keep coming back to the topic and building on the confused ideas to try to find some clarity.
There are usually fewer pauses when I’m journalling than when I’m blogging. Depression slows down my brain, and when I’m writing a blog post, I usually take a lot of pauses to try to pull my thoughts together. When I’m journalling, I’m usually starting with more thoughts in my head that are in need of an outlet. As a result, there’s a little more flow.
I can’t think of anything else to add, so now it’s over to you. In what ways do you reflect on what’s going on in your inner world? And is that a positive process for you, or an uncomfortable one?
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