Weekend Wrap-Up

Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • A huge thanks to everyone for your kind comments on my post earlier this week An Identity Milestone: No Longer a Nurse. I really appreciate it.
  • Now that I don’t have access to the extended medical insurance plan through my former employer, I’m cutting back the frequency of massage therapy appointments. No massage this week. Boooooooo.
  • I’ve randomly been rather sleepy this week. I’m sleeping fine, so not sure why I’m yawning all day.
  • My building had a planned power outage for several hours yesterday. I wasn’t happy, but I was prepared… and then it didn’t happen. That kind of thing always makes me so grateful that electricity is so readily available the vast majority of the time..
  • Butternut has been extra-spazzy lately. One day this week i was getting ready for bed and heard a kerfuffle in the bathroom where the boys hang out. Butternut had bitten Peanut, which happens sometimes, but he managed to hit a fairly significant blood vessel, because Peanut was bleeding a fair bit. I got Peanut set up in his blanket fort in bed with me so I could put pressure on it and keep him warm. That worked, and I fell asleep with him still in bed. I woke up and found him looking scared huddled at the opposite corner of the bed. I guess my snoring scared the bejeezus out of my poor little man. Now he’s back to his usual self. I’ve made some changes to their setup, but I think if there’s another major bite I’ll have to house them separately.

Instead of a guinea pig video, we have a me video. There isn’t really much out there online showing psychomotor retardation, so I decided to post an example. I already knew that I tend to look up at the ceiling when I’m having trouble with word-finding (although the rate-limiting step isn’t finding the word cognitively, but rather finding and implementing the associated motor script).

I didn’t realize how much I blink while doing that until I watched the video, although now that I can see it, I realize yes, that’s a consistent thing. I wonder if that has to do with activating the brain’s motor cortex as I fish around for how to say a word; I’m quite sure the blinking doesn’t happen when I’m searching for a word to type. My speech is particularly bad right now because I ran out of my stimulant medication a few weeks ago, and I haven’t decided yet what to do about that.

guinea pig Casper waiting for a treat

Casper is reminding me that it’s time for afternoon treat. When she knows I’ve actually got a treat in hand, she sticks her little face out as far as she can. You can’t tell from this picture, but she’s very good at making eye contact when she wants something.

How has your week been?

Mental Health @ Home Books: Psych Meds Made Simple, Managing the Depression Puzzle, and Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis
Mental Health @ Home Books by Ashley L. Peterson

48 thoughts on “Weekend Wrap-Up”

  1. Wow, I’m so sad that your depression is so severe!! I keep hoping you’ll find a wonderful cure!! 🙂 You deserve one!!

    Oh my, someone was a naughty guinea piggie!! Hmmph. So mean to bite his brother like that!

    My week has been pretty good, I guess, what I remember of it. I’m taking my dad shoe shopping when he returns from lunch this afternoon. I bought him some shoes on eBay, but they came in two different sizes. One of them fits! 😮

    I’ve been tired, too! But I haven’t been getting enough sleep!! More sleepytime is needed!!

  2. You may have mentioned this before in the past, so apologies if I have forgotten. Do you find verbally its harder to find the words than writing it? Ir is it the same?

    Do you think you maybe able to treat yourself to your own self-massage?
    I know you won’t be able to do your own back and legs in the way a masseur can, but say once a week have a foot soak instead, with a fragranced bath bomb in the bowl of water, followed by massage some cream into your feet?
    Make sure everything is at hand, including a drink, so you don’t have to move from your sofa and you could have 10, to 15 minutes with the foot soak, followed by after drying your feet, giving your each foot an individual massage. Not rushing this, while you do that.
    I have just done this myself today.

    As for my week, tired at times, even though I have slept well. But I took my extra sleep in the day as I do.
    My moods have been up and down some days, regardless of the laughs I have had at times.

    1. I recommend sitting down with a guinea pig under each foot, rolling your feet forwards and backwards. Be careful not to apply too much pressure!

  3. My days/weeks hardly change, got a new piece of exercise equipment which will actually get used LOL Oh, yeah and this morning we got our covid vaccine shot – the one and done. The whole process was easy-peasy, well organized, and the volunteers were SUPER!

  4. We got to see you 💕 And hear you ❤️ Yay! Sibling came to our house. In town to visit cancer mom and support our dad. We talked with sibling for a prolonged time. It was weird.

  5. Ohhh, I must have missed your identity post, will read it in a minute!
    That’s sad news about your massage therapy…
    Maybe there is some sleep bug going around the world, just like the Covid. My Mum has been absolutely unusually lethargic and sleepy for her standards, and for me it’s also been a weirdly spacey and tired week for no apparent reason, it’s annoying, and I can recall hearing from a few other people that they’re tired and sleepy lately.
    Power outages are awful, so I’m glad you didn’t have to deal with that in the end, and yes, electricity is such a huge thing to be grateful for!
    Oh no, poor little Peanut!!! That must have been such an awful experience for him. I hope Butternut won’t be so very naughty anymore.
    Thanks for sharing the video. 🙂 I normally apparently blink more than most people, or that’s at least what my Mum says, but I’ve also noticed and heard from people that I tend to blink even more when feeling anxious. If communication with people is stressful for you these days because of the psychomotor retardation, perhaps this could be the cause of the increased blinking for you, too?

  6. Aww poor little Peanut getting so injured then scared shitless by your snoring! I’m glad he’s a bit more his usual self now. Any thoughts on what to do about the stimulant meds you ran out of a few weeks ago? I think you did a brilliant job in sharing that video – it’s so personal and really hits home what this is like for you, what the slowness of movement and thought is like ‘in the flesh’ so to speak. I’m fortunate not to have experienced this for quite some time now, though I’m pretty sure my blink rate was very slow. It’s made me wonder about yours. Maybe there is that link with blinking and trying to grasp the words, a bit like looking in a certain direction to recall something.

    I also think it’s such a stark example of how you are so incredibly smart, popping out lots of extremely well put together, eloquent blog posts while also living with depression that can affect your thoughts, body and general affect so much.

    Sending useless-but-well-meaning hugs your way, Ashley. I hope it’s a week full of glorious electricity! xx

    1. Hugs to you too. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to stick with my old GP or find a new one. COVID makes sussing out a new one more challenging than usual. I’ll probably end up waiting until one of my other meds runs out, see if by some chance a “walk-in” clinic doctor will be willing to order the stimulant too, and then make a decision from there. Or I might end up going back to the old GP as the path of least resistance. So who knows. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  7. I’m sorry you are working through all of this Ashley. I appreciate your video♥️.

    It sounds like your little guys can be ornery sometimes, although incredibly cute♥️.

  8. My week was all right. High anxiety, lots of unexpected obstacles, got pretty behind on most things (including reading your blog, unfortunately). On the positive note, I cried two days in a row — which is unusual for me, probably hadn’t happened in a year or so. Both times, the crying was cleansing, and I felt more peace afterwards, and a sense of being right with the universe.

    Just watched your video. Thanks for sharing. I can see how that would be challenging to manage, but I also believe that you manage it well. I mentioned knowing another woman who had a similar but not identical condition. Your pace is about the same as hers, but you are much more fluid. Also, I’d only seen the other two pictures, and you look nice with your hair down. 🙂

      1. I’ve tried to find information as to what happens scientifically when we cry; that is, what causes that sense of peace or having been cleansed. It’s hard to find.

          1. Interesting. Maybe I’d have gotten that far had I been a better googler. (I was having a hard time getting past my emotional response to some of the early posts that came up, which seemed very cynical).

            1. I didn’t think of searching something like that. I had just searched “scientific effects of crying” (or things like that).

  9. Thank you for being brave with your video. That’s the first time I’ve seen psychomotor retardation. It must be bloody frustrating for you! Is it totally down to your illness, or does the medication make it worse? Confession: I think it’s common for people to associate slow speech with low intelligence. But I know for a fact how intelligent you are through your writing. So thank you, you’re helping me challenge my preconceptions.

  10. My parents have a pricey massage chair because it helps them relax. They use it everyday around an ungodly early 6am and it has paid for itself because massage by people is costly and they want a daily massage.

  11. Thanks for the video example of psychomotor retardation. I’ve seen it a few times but not in the context of depression. Missed seeing you on Medium so I found you here. WordPress gave me a hard time logging in so I made a new account.

      1. I think I’m gonna turn off the monthly paid membership part. It’s not like it used to be

  12. Reading your site, I saw this again and really liked what Rob said up there. He makes a good point about how most people assume someone with slow words and movement is lacking in the intelligence department. Everyone who follows you knows that you’re super smart and organized. Therefore, it’s pretty irritating to imagine you going to the grocery store or some routine task like that, and having to deal with people thinking you’re not smart when we all know better.
    All of this eye blinking draws attention to your beautiful brown eyes 🙂. Heh. I know you couldn’t care less because of depression and apathy, but I couldn’t resist giving a compliment.

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