Weekend Wrap-Up

wrapping paper, ribbon, and twine

Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • Someone I used to work with about 10 years ago followed me on Instagram. I don’t particularly want an intermingling of worlds that way, so I blocked her. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Worlds are colliding! George is getting upset!
  • Shira of ShiraDest had recommended The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes. I found a copy, and it might as well have been written in another language for all that I could make sense of the first few sentences. I’m not particularly surprised, given that my concentration is lousy, but it does offer an interesting contrast my (at least partially) intact ability to read academic literature within my field of relative expertise. With mental health-related stuff, I can skim and pick out bits I need to slow down and focus on. If I can’t skim, my concentration quickly fails me.
  • This week was rather stressful. I got a call from the person dealing with my disability benefits application. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines that my doctor had established that I was crazy, but not that I am crazy present tense, and that’s why she’d requested more information from him. I called his office to tell them I really needed him to provide that information, but unfortunately, the receptionist who answered is completely incompetent, so that didn’t go anywhere. I decided that the next morning, I would go in to the office and have a meltdown if needed to get my point across. I think the receptionist was scared of me, so she got the doctor to talk to me. He was an ass. He has decided that the disability people are “asking without coming out and asking” for a recent psychiatrist assessment, so he doesn’t know what to give them. I asked why he wasn’t qualified to do it, which he seemed to get irritated at. So yeah, I don’t know. Maybe he’ll do it, maybe he won’t. Maybe I’ll have to wait until post-COVID and find a new doctor, I don’t know. But anyway, my ability to tolerate stress is pretty much nonexistent, and now I’m ultra-slow moving again and trying to talk is like pulling teeth. So yeah, fun.

It’s lovely to see Elliot Page share his true identity with the world. With any socially stigmatized identity, every person who chooses to come out paves the way for an easier journey for others to come. I must admit, though, that I’m puzzled by some of the backlash around media reporting that made reference to Elliot’s former name, but otherwise used the correct name and pronouns that he uses for himself. While I agree that, in most instances, deadnaming is inappropriate and harmful, when a famous person who went by Old Name chooses to share their true identity that involves New Name, stating “New Name, formerly known as Old Name” in the initial report of the transition seems like clarity, not transphobia. After all, the individual’s transition is only being widely reported because Old Name was famous to begin with. To call something stigmatizing when there’s no indication that was the intent risks shutting down rather than promoting dialogue. Perhaps it’s better to celebrate the person who uses New Name, and work on educating people who continue to use Old Name, and/or the wrong pronouns, moving forward.

casper the guinea pig
Casper and her little pink nose

How has your week been?

Mental Health @ Home Books: Psych Meds Made Simple, Managing the Depression Puzzle, and Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis
Mental Health @ Home Books by Ashley L. Peterson

40 thoughts on “Weekend Wrap-Up”

  1. I block anyone I find on Instagram that I know in real life from my blog account. I don’t want people in my life knowing about it. It’s very personal and people around me are extremely unsupportive. Also, Casper is super cute 🙂

  2. Ohhh, I feel your frustration!! I have to say yeah, you need a new doctor. 🙁 That really bites and is such a headache. What total UGH!! that he can’t get it taken care of for you!! So sorry you’re dealing with all that frustration and incompetence!!

    I’m awaiting disability news as well, because they’re currently looking over my files to ensure I’m still disabled. We got a letter that they’re still working on it, which my dad interpreted to mean that they’re backlogged this time of year, or something.

    I agree about the confusion of having a new name! It only works to not mention Old Name if New Name is a nickname, like with me: Meg. But I feel for someone in that situation where Old Name has to be thrown out there for clarity. Hopefully it’ll quit happening once everyone’s on board with New Name. That’s one aspect of the trans experience that I can wholly relate to.

    My week has been oddly productive and focused. Go me! I hope we have great weeks next week!!

  3. I’m glad the former Elliot Page has felt comfortable enough to get to this point in their journey, to realise their identity and move forward with it and the associated pronouns. I don’t imagine it’s easy as someone in the spotlight to do, especially when there’s such stigma and the potential for future opportunities to go out the window because of the ignorance of Hollywood.

    I’m sorry it’s been such a balls-up hassle with the disability people. Fingers crossed your doc will do what’s needed and that’ll be enough.


  4. Keynes reminds me of doing A-Level economics at school. Keynes was not on the syllabus any more, but the teacher taught it to those who wanted out of school hours, which felt a bit weird.

  5. Lovely photo of Casper.

    Sorry to hear of your stress regarding the form that your doctor needs to do. Shaking my head when reading all that. Unbelievable fiasco.

    The week has been another week of fatigue in parts. Just work and rest in between and my meet up with support bubble.

    This morning was final time at mum’s bungalow.
    I have not heard since I sent the email to inform her of suitable time to puck up my mum’s bungalow key from my apartment on Monday, as she asked. So whether I will have something on the morning, or it ends up me sitting and waiting in alloted given time, to see if she turns up, remains to be seen.

    I had time out when home, before going downstairs to my support bubble. Had a few hours, before coming back home and now here, reading yours and other blogs, with a bit of Twitter, till at some point I go to bed.

    Tomorrow, or Monday I will contact suppliers via their chat, to give final meter readings, to end that part.
    Nothing else much planned. But I do want to make my Christmas card for mum.

  6. We have challenges understanding the language and labels associated with gender. Even as it applies to us! We respect every individual’s right to their identity and name. Our struggles are long-standing in this regard.

    Is the person you mention someone who was born with female identity and is now revealing himself to have a male identity? Is there another way to say it? We need it simple, as, for some reason, terms confuse us (maybe like how Keynes is confounding you) ❤️💕❤️💋

    1. He previously had a female identity, with the same first initial E. and same last name Page, and starred in the movie Juno. It seems unnecessarily circuitous and confusing to describe it that way when one could simply say Elliot Page, previously known as Ellen Page.

  7. Thanks for pushing the talk. I just pulled into Hartford driving through a massive snowstorm. Usually take 3 hours to get here and it took 5. Just gonna order room
    service and watch Netflix. Too mentally exhausted from that ride. At least I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

    I’m going to need people to remind me who Elliot Page is a couple times. I don’t think that makes me a bad person. It just means I’m forgetful and this isn’t top-of-mind in my life. I’m all for him being who he wants to be. And I still say Juno sucked.

    1. Remembering who celebrities are can be hard enough even without throwing a name-switch in. My favourite part about Juno was the fact that I recognized a lot of the shooting locations. Other than that, I can’t say it did all that much for me.

      Ugh, snowstorm driving is never fun. I hope you’re able to sleep well, and good luck tomorrow!

  8. Your Casper is incredibly cute. It sounds like a roller coaster dealing with the medical system. I am very sorry that you have to do this and hopeful that part can get shored up and behind you soon. I hope you have a good weekend Ashley 🤍.

  9. I wish your doctor was more cooperative! I hope you do eventually get what you need to satisfy the assessors.

    My week has been good and bad. Some of the bad is really personal so I’m unsure if I want to tell people. It’s something most of my trans friends don’t understand.

    Regarding Elliot Page, it isn’t stigmatising to have a line with his/their deadname to educate people.

  10. It really sucks you’re having so much hassle and stress going on with this disability thing and your doctor isn’t more cooperative when it shouldn’t really be much of a problem for him to be.

  11. My week is always better when I keep on my Ms. Ashley reading!

    The disability system is so goddam broken that in angers me. I know folks who receive it without need, and folks who need it without receiving.

    My brother struggled for years with his claim/application process. It was eventually granted… two years after his death.

    I’m rooting for you, Girl!

    1. Thanks! Fingers crossed that the shitstorm will get sorted before I die. I was expecting the government to be the pain in the ass in this equation, but they seem to be not bad. It’s my doctor who’s let his inner asshole come out to dance around.

      1. I applied for disability approximately a year-and-a-half ago. My doctors charged fees for filling-out (and in some cases, just signing) the paperwork.

        We made it through the first phase; but in the second phase, my health care providers were asked to provide verbal testimony — either through video or in-person interviews. Nearly all involved decided they “couldn’t take the time” to participate.

        The one therapist who was willing to speak on my behalf (someone I’d been seeing for damn near a decade) charge a fee for testimony that was too high for us to pay.

        Ultimately, my claim was denied for “lack of merit.”

    1. I’m not particularly on the ball, so I didn’t even notice, and on top of that, I didn’t notice this comment got it wrong until I saw the next one. Snoozy brain right over here! 😉

  12. …when I keep UP on my Ms. Ashley reading! Not “keep on my Ms. Ashley reading!” Good Lord, my fingers just can’t seem to keep up with my thoughts this morning. Ugh…

  13. It sounds like this disability thing is getting more and more frustrating, but I feel like that happens with everyone. It’s like they try to make it as hard as possible. 💜

  14. Your doctor sounds like he’s not doing his job. I’m sorry to hear of your ongoing struggles, I also had a very stressful week, culminating in a useless $15 purchase I made on bad advice. But it included a lot of other mishaps as well, and lots of things going wrong. One good thing is I think I’ve finally gotten back on my preferred early-to-rise schedule (still working on the early-to-bed). I think the bad mood I’ve been in, also containing erratic bursts of energy and non-energy, is beginning dissipate with the newfound regularity. Let’s hope this week’s a bit more even-keel.

Leave a Reply