The emerging blogger series is aimed at community building by giving mental health bloggers who are early in their blogging evolution the opportunity to have their work seen by a wider audience. It’s also a way to introduce readers to some newer members of our community.
This post is by Tim of One More Hope.
For You, the Sufferer
“I wish that I could say the perfect words to take away your hurt but they just don’t exist. There’s nothing I can say to try to numb your pain, I’m afraid you’ll have to find that comfort from within” – Tom Macdonald
Welcome to the hardest thing I’ve ever written. Truth is, I’m not anxiety free right now. There. I said it. A lot of us “writers” publish our words from the position of someone who knows better. Honestly, I only know two things and one of them is how to suffer. The second one I’ll address later.
I started digging deep trying to figure out how I could connect to that one person that needs to hear the story that I call life. I’m still stuck in my own head sometimes and it’s hard to write from that prison.
I’m willing to bet you feel the same way. I’m thinking that some time this week, maybe even today, you suffered a panic attack. Maybe the worst one you’ve had yet. Maybe you think death is right around the corner for you. It’s possible that you constantly check your Fitbit heartrate monitor. Ahh, that’s it, you’re dizzy too… right? Unfortunately, I know someone reading this contemplated suicide today too. Thank you for not doing that.
Alright, you get the point by now. I’m in this fight with you. I’m nowhere near where I want to be. However, I am bounds from where I started. PTSD is my label. I’ve gotten so good at hiding it that I’d have to tell you for you to know it’s there. That’s not what I want to discuss right now though. Frankly, I want to know what’s your label? I’m guessing it has something to do with our mutual friend anxiety.
It’s just anxiety right? That’s like saying it’s just cancer. To us, the sufferer, it’s very real and extremely physical. Sometimes I think it’s the physical symptoms that get me quicker than the mental ones. Either way, anxiety means living the hard way. You can’t slice it any differently than that.
Back to that second thing that I know. Are you ready for it? Here it goes: anxiety is the biggest liar you will ever meet in your life. The truth is that you are ok, no matter what your mind tells you. That’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. It’s way better than swallowing that 20mg prozac everyday waiting for a change. I know, because I’ve lived that life. It was an uncanny world to be in. *Disclosure: Some people need medication intervention all the way down to crisis intervention. Do your research, talk to your health professional and seek therapy to find out what’s right for you*
This is the very same conversation I wish I would have had with my oldest brother. No, maybe I’m trying to fool myself into believing that I didn’t have that conversation with him. Many times. Truth is, we all did. The disconnect came when he didn’t believe there was better help out there. Our disconnect came when we didn’t listen to his silent plea for help.
If you find yourself silently begging your heart out for someone to listen, you’re not alone. Although I feel I am in a much better place today, there have been countless times daily where I wished someone could hear my inner voice. Feel the way I felt. Believe that what I was experiencing was debilitating. That’s what all of my thoughts are about today, that is how can I help you to stop your hurt?
Come on people let’s end the stigma… it’s time. Let’s all start having that discussion. That’s when you’ll find that I’m not crazy. In fact, I’m too sane. That’s what PTSD does to you. That’s where you’ll also find that your loved one or yourself isn’t crazy either. They’ve just been through too much. I was hoping by starting this weekly blog and opening up for all the world to see, that it would change the way people look at mental issues. There’s literally nothing wrong with my behavior or appearance. That hasn’t stopped hurtful things from happening to me.
In fact, I’ve been told to man up. I’ve been told to just get over it. It went so far, my wife was even told to “take as much as she could take until she couldn’t take it anymore” when it came to me. I’m thankful she hung on simply because advice like that is poisonous. Take a look at the source when someone tells you something like this that they know nothing about. Do they have it together? Are they managing their life or the people who depend on them well enough to give you that advice? I think you’ll find out quick, maybe they’re the crazy one. Heck, you might even get a good laugh.
I know how hard it is. I know exactly what you’re thinking. Let me promise you this one thing- it always gets better. For some situations it may take longer but better days are coming. That daylight you’re looking for is right at the end of that tunnel. To you it may feel like it’s a 1000 miles long, in reality it’s only a few feet long just in a different direction than your facing.
Stay strong. Ask questions. Check on your friends. Get them help. We are all in this together. The rate of suicide, accidental overdose and drug addiction is alarming to say the least. Just do some research and you’ll find that it’s an epidemic. One that is all of our responsibility. Believe it or not, it all starts with mental health awareness. Let’s stand together and fight this. No one has to be alone. After all, we can help those clouds roll away a lot quicker for someone else. Soon afterwards, we can all find our daylight.
Visit Tim on his blog One More Hope.
Thanks so much Tim for participating in the emerging blogger series!
You can find a listing of all of the series posts in the community features directory.
Do you want to be the next emerging blogger?
- you have a personal (rather than business-oriented) blog that’s focused primarily on mental health/illness
- you’re a new(ish) blogger, with WordPress following <100 preferred
Interested? If you fit the criteria above:
- email me at mentalhealthathome (at) gmail (dot) com
- let me know the topic you’d like to write about and include your blog name/URL