Weekend wrap-up

Weekend wrap-up

wrapping paper, ribbon, and twine

Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • It hasn’t been a good week.  Thanks so much to everyone for all of your support – it means a lot.  I saw my GP earlier in the week, and he’s great, but I think he’s feeling a bit out of his depth.  I’m extremely slowed down right now, and I don’t think GPs are often exposed to this degree of psychomotor retardation.  Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is the most effective treatment for this particular symptom of depression, but as I mentioned in a post earlier this week it’s just not a feasible option at this point.  So it will be a matter of slowly waiting for my meds to catch up to me, which will happen; it will just take a while.
  • I got smelly enough that even the guinea pigs didn’t want to be too close to me.
  • I realized I forgot to pay my credit card bill last month.  I thought I had, but nope.  That’s never happened before, and it speaks to how scattered I’ve been lately.
  • I got out of the house twice this week, once to see my doctor and then the other time was to go to the lab to get some blood tests done.  I left the lab and was walking back to my car.  I was on the sidewalk holding up some cars that were waiting to pull out of a gas station, and some asshole blared his horn and yelled “can you walk any slower, cunt?”  No, as a matter of fact, I’m just a teensy step up from being stationary.  I didn’t take it personally, because he was obviously an asshat, but it’s kind of sad that people feel the need to be shitty.

 

As guests on my blog this week, I had two fabulous emerging bloggers – check them out if you haven’t already done so:

 

Probably some of you have noticed recently that WordPress is sometimes randomly disabling comments on some blogs.  LovingSummer talked to WP about this, and it’s a known bug that’s being worked on.  There’s more here: https://github.com/wordpress-mobile/WordPress-iOS/issues/13079

 

How has your week been?

 

books by Ashley L,. Peterson: Managing the Depression Puzzle, Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis, and Psych Meds Made Simple

 

53 thoughts on “Weekend wrap-up”

    1. My week was ok. I actually felt good this week, and had good talks with my psychologist, regarding some of my triggers. I’m sorry you are still moving slow, did you change your meds or a dose that they have to catch up with you? Is your GP managing your mental health and your meds? No, GP’s typically don’t deal with it, they really just deal with internal medicine. At least that is how it is here in the states. I rarely see my primary, but see my psychologist 3x / wk. Then I have a psych nurse practitioner that manages my meds. My primary knows I have a mental illness, because she has access to my charts, but she doesn’t know any more than that. You said ECT isn’t an option, what about TMS? It’s non invasive, and you don’t have to get a chaperone. I have been in Slow motion like that, I’m suicidal as my baseline, when I have an episode and lose all hope, I turn zombie like after a few days of crying. I was so out of it one day, I walked into a moving car, and no it was not a suicide attempt. I was just so list, I couldn’t think straight. That guy driving the car didn’t have anything nice to say either, I just kept wandering, I didn’t listen t o what he had to say. Are you on a mood stabilizer, or on something to help pick you up like Xanax or something. You shouldn’t have to wait for your meds, unless you’ve never been on them, and have to wait to build a tolerance level. But even then they should still work. I’m thankful for my “team” helping me. ( my psychologist, nurse practitioner, and my pharmacist). My pharmacist keeps in close contact with my nurse regarding my meds, changes, etc. He calls and checks in on my when I change doses of get a new med. Hope things start turning around for you!

      1. That’s great that you’ve got such a supportive team. I’ve chosen to stick with my GP because he’s someone I trust. I’m a MH professional myself so I have the knowledge base to make up for what he might be lacking in, and the fact that he treats me as an equal partner in my care is invaluable. I’m on a really solid med regimen, but unfortunately the illness is sufficiently treatment-resistant that stressors can set me way back.

        I’m glad you had a good week!

  1. I came into the New Year like weight had lifted off my shoulders, but it all changed from Monday just gone. I thought I felt exhausted again,but when I really thought about it, I realised it wasn’t that and that instead it was my mental health. I have put a Friday off next Friday in my evening job for my mental health, just in case. But I am feeling ok today. I have been out for the day to Newark. (UK, Newark.) I met up with my friend who lives that way and enjoyed my day. On my way home now, which I will watch a dvd when home, with some salad sandwiches and an apple pie with dairy alternative cream.

    Tomorrow, I will meet up with another friend who will give me a car lift, so I can pick up two very large tins of paint.

      1. When we have the paint, whether we are are having lunch after, I don’t know. I’ll leave that with him. But if not, when we have gone our own ways, I will have lunch out myself, down the road from where I live somewhere.

  2. I’m sorry that you’ve had another tough week. Wishing you all the best. Also -I live in a city where people CONSTANTLY feel the need to be shitty – it’s really jarring to be yelled at by strangers 🙁

  3. I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty week Ashley – sending hugs! I’ve really struggled this week, no motivation and feeling really low. I hope this new week is kinder to you 💚

  4. That jerk c-worded you? Ohhh, that makes me mad!! It’s been a bad week for me, but you’ve made it so much better. Never devalue what a great person you are! Like, never ever!! I wish that knowledge could make your depression go away, but I guess that’s wishful thinking. I’m going to try to bless you with a great upcoming week!! You deserve a great week!!

  5. You’re doing the best you can. You should celebrate that you left the house twice and realised it was time to shower. When depression is that bad, these are huge accomplishments. I’m proud of you 💕

  6. The comment about your walking speed really angered me. And for them to use the unforgivable word while saying it too…? People like that make me want to stay indoors. I like your “stationary”humor about the situation though. My week has been crazy. Did the last half of my EMDR training and saw my highest volume of clients to date. Tomorrow will be all about napping.

  7. People are like that to me at work. Especially with how I count my money. I count it multiple times because I worry if I miscount. I have had people rush me or ask me if I’m okay. You’re meds will kick in soon.

    My week has been as bad with car issues. I luckily got a new today so I don’t have to worry for a while again about my car breaking down.

  8. My Dearest Ashley… I am so sorry you are struggling so badly. It sure as hell doesn’t help when others can be so cruel. Everybody is always rushing and have no clue what others are facing. Reading what you write about that “Asshat”, (I like that term, by the way), reminded me of the asshat in Walmart a couple months back.
    I know I have been MIA for a while, but are you able to still maintain working the evening shift at work? Or, are you taking time off until the meds kick-in?

    1. Asshat seems to be a British term that I picked up on Twitter.

      I was working very little to begin with, but haven’t worked for about 6 weeks and probably won’t for a couple months.

  9. Well done on making it to your GP and taking care of your health! I’ve had weeks where I wouldn’t leave my apartment accept to see my doctors too. But it’s so important and an achievement!

  10. Sorry it’s been a bad week for you ashleyleia. I couldn’t help but notice even though it’s been so hard for you, you are still able to say “my illness has nothing to do with my value as a person”. What shines out to me from that statement is such admirable and strength.
    Ps: I bet the little guinea pigs don’t really care about human smell, if dogs are anything to do by, it just makes them look at you quizzically!

  11. Oh my week was very interesting, I’m moodswinging like never before, I go up and down like a jojo. I’m exhausted because of this. I feel a bit crazy sometimes. One day I have all those plans and the other day all falls apart. One morning I can do everything, the other day I go bed at 6 30 pm. I don’t know what is going on. But as usual everything will even out I guess?
    Stupid people shouting at you, they don’t understand! I hope the meds will do their work and you can manage somehow until that happens. Always ready to help or listen when needed. Much love <3

  12. I really do hope the meds sprint rather than leisurely walk in their catch-up efforts. It’s such a shit that ECT isn’t an option. It probably is for those that aren’t interested and don’t want it, so for someone to be open to it and need it to not be able to get it.. typical, but infuriating nonetheless. You’ve got through tougher than tough times before and you can do it again. Look at all these comments you’ve got… all the people that have you in their thoughts and care about you and want you to be okay  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥🌹
    Caz xx

  13. Nothing makes you feel better than when your doctor or therapist looks at you with a look that says, “I can’t even give you a good poker face. I don’t have a clue here.”

  14. I’m sorry you are struggling and having a hard time 😢 I’m here for you 💖 I hope this week will be a bit better. I was so happy to have conquered my fear of the dentist. I’m not done with it but little by little. Now I have a cold, throat pain so I guess all this anxiety catched up. Thank you for being there for me and I wish I could do something for you to make you feel better because you deserve it.

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