I haven’t written much of anything this week (everything I’ve posted was already scheduled). It’s not writer’s block per se; it’s more generalized brain block.
Last week I hit my (very low) stress threshold, and my brain reacted in what has become a typical pattern, and shut things down. The psychomotor retardation affects me physically (I’m moving at a snail’s pace), but it’s really slowing me down mentally. It’s not as though there was all that much going on mentally to begin with, but now it’s really a lights are on but nobody’s home kind of situation.
I sometimes wonder how much the slowing down just happens to be how my depression tends to manifest itself in these situations, and how much is a form of unconscious self-protection. When I am slow and not thinking much in general, I don’t get suicidal, or at least not actively so. Or maybe there is no rhyme or reason behind it.
It’s at times like this I’m very glad I write and schedule posts well in advance, because even if I was so inclined there would be no reason to feel pressured to write.