The Lights Are On, But Nobody’s Home

Mental Health @ Home - The Lights Are On, But Nobody's Home - image of half lightbulb, half brain

I haven’t written much of anything this week (everything I’ve posted was already scheduled).  It’s not writer’s block per se; it’s more generalized brain block.

Last week I hit my (very low) stress threshold, and my brain reacted in what has become a typical pattern, and shut things down.  The psychomotor retardation affects me physically (I’m moving at a snail’s pace), but it’s really slowing me down mentally.  It’s not as though there was all that much going on mentally to begin with, but now it’s really a lights are on but nobody’s home kind of situation.

I sometimes wonder how much the slowing down just happens to be how my depression tends to manifest itself in these situations, and how much is a form of unconscious self-protection.  When I am slow and not thinking much in general, I don’t get suicidal, or at least not actively so.  Or maybe there is no rhyme or reason behind it.

It’s at times like this I’m very glad I write and schedule posts well in advance, because even if I was so inclined there would be no reason to feel pressured to write.

book cover: Managing the Depression Puzzle by Ashley L. Peterson

Managing the Depression Puzzle takes a holistic look at the different potential pieces that might fit into your unique depression puzzle. It’s available on Amazon and other online retailers, as well as the MH@H Store.

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31 thoughts on “The Lights Are On, But Nobody’s Home”

  1. Ashley, you are so not alone. Honestly, if I didn’t schedule out, nothing would get posted. (Period).
    You said it right, “Snails Pace”, yesterday was my crash and burn day. When I did wake up, I literally feel beyond drained.
    I sincerely hope you just let this run it’s course and rest. I’d hate to learn if you were thinking suicidal thougts. Like you said, maybe it is you way of self-protection. I hope that it is.
    Take good care of youself, Ashley. 💓

  2. You’re not alone in this. I mentioned the depressive bouts in my last comment. Scheduling is a great tool for times like this. I just chose to take off this month from writing. Lots of naps and Hulu until this thing runs its course. Take care 🙃

  3. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    If the sluggishness is keeping you alive, then God bless it. We need you! Don’t feel bad. Honestly, your posts thus far lately have been beyond brilliant. Nothing wrong with a day of rest to recover from those horrid coworkers. You matter so much more than your job! Please feel free to contact me anytime, any reason. Ramble, vent, mumble, wail, whatever, it’s all good. You can even trash talk Trump if it helps. Reach out! Hugs!

  4. We snails should come together! It’s not fun when the mind closes up. I feel like it is some kind of protection but at a high cost at the same time.
    Take the time you need, cuddle with the piggies and don’t worry about posting or writing, do what you feel or not feel.
    We’re all here to support, to unwind, to comfort, to make stupid jokes … all is good if it’s good for you <3

  5. Often my depressed days become, “just share an artwork” or “tell how I’m feeling right now” posts because I can’t manage to do anything else right now. I’m not good about pre-scheduling posts, but I always have some artworks on hand I can just share if nothing else.

  6. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, but I’m glad in a way to realize I’m not alone. I’ve never scheduled posts more than a day in advance, so when I experience brain block, I don’t tend to post.

  7. I always wish I had some great words of comfort in times like this, but I often find myself stumbling over words, not wanting to say the wrong thing or devalue what you’re going through.

    I will say that I commend you for recognizing this about yourself and taking time for you! Not everyone has found the ability to do that, and I think it’s great that you have. Also, know that you’re in my thoughts, and I hope this brain block passes quickly. 🙂

  8. This is another reason why scheduling is great. Some days I have no desire to write anything. It’s great to have so much that is nearly finished in my drafts folder and so much scheduled ahead of time. That means I can relax on days when there is nothing coming out of my brain.

  9. I have moments where I am too depressed or anxious to write. It makes me glad to see a new writing prompt or glad I have 10 plus posts prewritten even though I don’t schedule posts.

    Take some time to do something that makes you smile for a day. Sometimes it’s good to remove things that may cause you stress for a couple days. I have disappeared on here in the past because I had to for the same reasons.

    I hope you feel better very soon 💖

  10. I’m not at all surprised to learn you get the occasional day of writer’s block. You seem to reach so deep all the rest of the time and from the few comments I’ve seen from you (in such a short amount of time as I’ve only recently ‘met’ you), I can see you offer an unusual depth and wisdom that is bound to need an enforced break from time to time!

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