What makes you unfollow?

Mental Health @ Home: What makes you unfollow?

What, if anything, would it take for you to unfollow another blogger?  This wasn’t something I gave any thought to when I first started blogging, but now that I’ve been doing this for a while, I’ve settled on a few things that would typically lead me to unfollow someone.  It’s part of managing my own blogging experience, and kind of goes along with my policy of deleting comments that I don’t want on my blog.  I can’t control what other people do, and I have no desire to do so, but I can control my own blogging experience.

Stigma

One of the biggest issues for me is mental illness stigma.  I don’t want to read blogs that, at least from my perspective, promote stigma.  Examples would be medication-bashing and attempts to link violence to mental illness.  I wouldn’t generally be inclined to leave a comment on the other person’s blog, because it’s up to them if they want to have that kind of content – they’re free to do so.  I just choose not to read it.

Offensive ideas

I also don’t want to read blogs that promote victim-blaming, especially when it comes to sexual assault.  I unfollowed a blog once because the blogger claimed that young women going braless would be more likely to be sexually assaulted because men wouldn’t be able to restrain themselves.  That pissed me off enough that I called the blogger out in their comments, but that’s not something I would normally do.

Obnoxious comments

I’m not particularly flexible (or flexible at all, really) when it comes to tolerating obnoxious comments on my blog.  If it’s really offensive, I’ll blacklist and unfollow immediately.  With more moderately inappropriate comments, I might take a three strikes and you’re out approach before blacklist and unfollowing.

Ultra-high-frequency posting

I will sometimes unfollow ultra high-frequency posters.  I do all my blog reading via the WP Reader, and if it gets to the point where it feels like someone has hijacked my Reader feed, it starts to get spammy and annoying.  Does that mean people shouldn’t post as often as they want?  Of course not.  And some bloggers I follow post frequently, but not in a spammy pattern, and I’m fine with that.  But if it’s getting to the point where ultra high-frequency posting is irritating me, that’s really not helpful for anyone.

Not a good fit

Another reason I occasionally unfollow blogs is if their content just doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for, and I never end up reading their posts.  Again, it’s my desire to have a streamlined Reader feed.  A cluttered feed does not go well with my scrambled mind.

If all of this sounds curmudgeonly, well, that’s because I am a bit of a curmudgeon.  I spend a lot of time in the blogosphere, and if there are ways to make my experience easier and more satisfying, I’m in.

Are you a grumpy old coot like me or do you take a more laid back approach to the issue of unfollowing?

 

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70 thoughts on “What makes you unfollow?

  1. Jenn says:

    I use to read a lot more blogs than I do now (3 kids and what not doesn’t leave me a lot of time). I also don’t like spammy types. I once followed this blog that posted, at least what seemed like, hourly. It was too much for me!
    I tend to unfollow blogs that tend to preach a lot. I have always struggled with where I stand religiously and though I do find it fascinating to learn about each one, I don’t like feeling like the core message is “join the church!”

  2. Paula Light says:

    I am a grumpy old coot. I unfollowed someone when she switched from mostly personal content to selling stuff (recipes with Amazon links in them, etc.). I’m not here to spend money mainly, though I may occasionally purchase a book. If someone is constantly pestering me to donate or “buy a coffee,” that will get on my nerves and may cause an unfollow. Most of us would also like to be bought coffees too. Which of us bloggers are wealthy enough to fling money at others for no reason? The coffee thing is obnoxious. If someone starts posting all business articles and no personal content, I’ll quickly grow bored with them. That’s happened and I’ve unfollowed. People forget that we can get business stuff anywhere ~ there are many great professional business websites with tons of articles. I don’t want to see that stuff recycled into my feed. Oh, and the news!! I unfollow people if the repost articles from the news. Ughhh! Who wants to see that crap? 😜

    • ashleyleia says:

      Yeah, there’s really no need to keep stuff in your feed that’s annoying you. Sometimes I’ll get annoyed but stick with a blog hoping they’ll get back to what they were, but I’ve gotten more proactive about unfollowing blogs that are getting on my nerves.

  3. Brendan Birth says:

    I unfollow blogs that turn out to promote racism, sexism, homophobia etc, as well as blogs that don’t have any content of interest to me. I also unfollow blogs that haven’t published content in over a year, with a few exceptions (like if someone needs to take a long hiatus because of family stuff or health). Wow, I sound really picky.

  4. Luftmentsch says:

    I don’t unfollow often, but I’m a highly selective follower, so I don’t tend to get into the situation of wanting to unfollow. I tend to only follow people where I’m going to want to read 80%+ of their content. Unfollowing is usually when I realise I’ve misunderstood where the focus of their blog is or when they post a lot of posts or extremely long posts. The latter can be a source of some regret, if it’s well-researched and interesting, but I don’t often have the time for frequent long reads. (Bear in mind I’m a slightly obsessive completist and don’t feel comfortable skim reading or skipping posts.)

    Politics is a funny one. I don’t follow many overtly political blogs, but sometimes one turns political and I might unfollow if I feel that my views are being hated unfairly. I don’t necessarily need to agree with everything I read, but I can’t cope with feeling that a blogger thinks I’m some kind of monster who is to blame for all the evil in the world. Blogs that provoke a lot of angry argument/abuse rather than reasoned debate can also go, as I can’t cope with that kind of thing.

    Too much talk about sex and relationships can also be triggering of my loneliness, but that only became a problem leading to unfollowing on one occasion that I can think of (where someone suddenly got a new relationship and posted about her sex life constantly in what had not been a sex/relationship blog). TMI, definitely.

      • Luftmentsch says:

        I think some of it for me is the format. I’ve no problem reading long-form journalism in print and sometimes in online magazines, but somehow it feels that a blog post, like a pop song, should not take more than five minutes (I don’t know how long it takes to read my posts! But I know very few people read them anyway).

  5. Joshua Shea says:

    Easily the top reason is if they are spamming too much useless information. I have no problem hearing from you five times a day if I’m getting something out of it, but if you’re giving me two poems, an essay on addiction, a recipe and a religious sermon…I’m out. I’ll also unfollow after a while if I feel like they’re beating a dead horse. There’s one blogger who wrote about CBD twice a day and I mostly started ignoring it until I noticed some of the headlines were the same. I scrolled all the way to the bottom of one of these entires and it turned out in the few weeks I mostly ignored them, they’d begun selling it.

  6. my loud whispers of hope says:

    It bothers me when people swear when writing. Especially the F word. I don’t feel it is necessary in writing. I also don’t like it when bloggers constantly beg for money or their only goal in writing is to sell their books. Occasionally and understandably it is necessary sometimes…. but not always. Those are just some of the things that bother me and can get old to me…

  7. my loud whispers of hope says:

    The same applies to Twitter as well. Ashley I know you have books and Im definitely not talking about you at all. EVERYTHING you do on your blog and Twitter is right on and at sma great balance. You are one of the BEST!!!

    • ashleyleia says:

      Aww, thanks sweetie! I know what you mean about promotion. If it’s an add-on to the primary purpose, that’s okay, but if promotion starts to become the primary purpose that gets really old really fast.

  8. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com says:

    If I come across comments, or like waht happened last month where the jerk though this was a hook-up site… They automatically get deleted, and blocked.
    I have no tolerance for people who also plagiarize. I let that one thing go. If it happens again…Zap! Like a bug.
    Great post, Ashley. 🤗

  9. Johnzelle Anderson says:

    Great post! I unfollow if their content offends me or is poorly proofread. I also unfollow if they post too much or take their voice too far. Same goes for social media

  10. sophienaylor1 says:

    I unfollow anyone anti-choice and anti-feminist, as well as every person you’ve mentioned to be honest.. I also unfollow anyone who ignores my comments on their post and doesn’t engage with my posts ever, because I just find it rude. I feel like everyone should reply to their own blog comments, unless they get like 100 haha x

  11. Invisibly Me says:

    If you’re a grumpy old coot then so am I because there are a few things that bug me, too. I don’t unfollow much at all so it does take a bit to make me do it as I’m a bit picky who I follow in the first place. I definitely veto blogs where the author is mean or abusive to others in anyway and posts that promote stigma, be it of mental health or other things I’m passionate about (weight/body image, disability, illness). Also with you on the ultra high frequency bloggers. I do follow a few like that but I remember one woman who posted about 20 times a day and they were incredibly self-centred posts, and she didn’t seem to contribute to others in any way. Drove me up the wall after a while.
    Caz xx

  12. Casey Elizabeth Dennis says:

    Thankfully I haven’t read any blog posts like you mentioned but I’d unfollow them to. Wait, there was one calling women who get abortions murderers. I unfollowed him. I unfollow if they haven’t posted in 6 months or more or if they post too much too.

  13. Meg says:

    Yeah, for me, I get peeved if I keep commenting on someone’s posts, and they ignore my comments. Especially if they reply to everyone else’s comments, and then treat me like chopped liver. That always upsets me. It’s not hard to give a quick response to someone’s comment! I know sometimes people don’t see the comment, and WP can be glitchy, but if it’s the norm that they never like or reply to my comments, I take it as a sign that they don’t want me around!! 😮

    Interesting blog post!!

  14. crushedcaramel says:

    I am a tiny bit fussy, not a lot fussy though:

    I don’t like bad language – lots of f-words and I will unfollow.
    If a blogger is publishing 10+ posts a day, I will unfollow – sorry but no way! I will remember them and drop in from time to time and catch up with as much as I have time for.
    If a blogger is sounding kind of racist, superior, bigoted – then it is sayonara blogger!
    If a blogger is always moaning, always grumbling and there is no balance to their posts, and I start to dread what on earth they are going to rant about next – arrivederci it be blogger.
    If a blogger’s posts start to become so bizarre that I start to wonder if perhaps they are taking some kind of intoxicating substance before they write them – well I can’t really be doing with that so it’s ciao for now baby!

    I like a diverse array of blogs, but especially when there is a likeable endearing person behind the posts I am reading. Everyone has bad days so occasional ranting, using bad language when they are absolutely incensed about something or having the odd mad day were they don’t make any sense at all…that is all fine with me – we are all human. But if it becomes the overriding theme of their site that they want to suck all the joy out of my day and my life – well I am going to press that UNFOLLOW button and probably not look back. It’s auf wiedersehen pet!

  15. Melanie B Cee says:

    I suppose I’m a ‘grumpy old coot’, but any of the reasons you listed are darned good ones for unfollowing a blog. Who needs to read content that is essentially trash? That goes against what I consider rules for good blogging – empathy, compassion, non-judgmental attitude, and other unsavory character traits. I wouldn’t put up with those in real life, why would I do it in my virtual one? The last (and biggest) reason I unfollow is that I discover the writer/blogger has misrepresented themselves. They may have initially shown themselves to be something they truly aren’t. I once followed a woman who turned out to be a religious fanatic and who was really harsh to those who didn’t believe the way she did. UNFOLLOW! Another blogger I followed (whom I thought was funny), turned out to have the foulest mouth I’ve ever seen in written form. I’m no prude, but saying “f*ck” every other word is just nasty to me. UNFOLLOW! Yep. Maybe I’m a bit judgmental myself, but really? There’s enough good blogs to read without cluttering up and wasting our time reading bad ones. Just my two cents.

  16. Marie-Céline says:

    I unfollow if I keep seeing posts in the reader that don’t interest me. If I follow a blog and I don’t want to miss anything at all then I make sure I have notifications enabled. Some blogs I follow I just glance at occasionally so I don’t need notifications.

  17. Iggy says:

    I generally follow everyone that follows me. But I’ve had to unfollow a few for the following:
    *Spammy posts (Buy *this* type of stuff)
    *Nothing that I am interested in.
    *Foriegn Language
    But I would also unfollow to hate speech or mental health stigma type posts.

  18. mmorran1 says:

    Cool read!

    Lately I’ve been shifting towards the idea of mindful social media instead of cutting sm out all together. It sounds like you’re practicing that too – curating your WP feed to see only the things you want to. I do that too and it’s actually kind of a refreshingly good for your mental health to go through and cut out what doesn’t fit, like trimming a digital bonzai tree – so zen 😛 XD

    Thanks as always for posting, you rock!

  19. PoojaG says:

    I’ve only unfollwed like one or two people but it’s because either their content was offensive or they were spamming with posts and I saw like 20 or so posts from them everyday.

  20. theinbetweenqueen says:

    I unfollowed a recovery blog that wrote this long and disgusting post justifying voting for Trump and using that to talk about recovery. Her blog is triggering as hell and I can’t understand her popularity.

  21. da-AL says:

    there are many blogs I enjoy reading regularly but few that I subscribe to as I am easily overwhelmed by too many emails. among the handful I’ve unfollowed were those of people who revealed themselves to be a-h…s if you know what I mean lol – oh, & some where I’d never get a single response to my comments. yes, we’re all busy & not all comments need to be replied to, when I’ve commented often without a reply, I get to feeling like there isn’t anyone ‘out there’…

    as for subsribing in the first place the sites I truly don’t even want to open, despite their enticing subject lines, are the ones that are so full of ads that they stall my computer. can only imagine that masochists bother with them &/or that hosts are completely clueless

  22. iScriblr says:

    I’m usually very patient “un-following”.. Generally its the pessimistic toxic people that are always complaining (nay sayers/cribbers) and have nothing substantial to share/add!

  23. skinnyhobbit says:

    I’m a selective follower in general. I try to read several posts to get a “feel” before I follow. I like personal content because I want to “get to know” people. I also enjoy posts which are informative in nature. It isn’t just mental health but it could be cooking, “day in the life”, food hunting, crafting, writing.

    I lean left (by my country’s and the USA standard) so I shy away from blogs that are overtly right-wing. I’ve enough right-wing people I engage with in my offline life. I respect people have different views and that it’s their space so I just don’t step in.

    I used to go on “unfollowing” sprees, usually clearing out blogs which haven’t been updated in a long time, but it takes time and effort I no longer have. And sometimes people come back after a long hiatus!

    I’ve unfollowed very, very prolific bloggers, unless I really like them as people. Like over 10 posts a day.

    I read both using the WP Reader app and the regular WP Reader. I get annoyed when some bloggers set things so ONLY an excerpt shows in the Reader and I have to click through to read the entire post. I want to read the WHOLE post in the Reader! 🙂 Sometimes I unfollow because of that. It’s OK on the regular WP reader, because I can just click through and comment, but makes things VERY irritating on the WP Reader App because I have to login again on my small smartphone screen just to Like/Comment.

    I don’t like blogs that promote stigma, that victim blame. Pet peeve haha. Or blogs who *just* want to sell something or promote their business, where the enture post is just geared towards that end without enough to stand on it’s own.Having a paragraph and links to “buy my product!” at the end of every post is fine (like how you do it), I’m referring to those who are vague and the content is “thin” because the main purpose of the post is to point towards the product.

    • ashleyleia says:

      Yeah when selling hijacks the whole blog that’s definitely not the right balance.

      I’m one of those annoying people who just show excerpts in the Reader. 😉I started doing it when I started trying to make a bit of money with ads, and that only happens if people are actually on my sitev to see my ads. I didn’t realize people would have to log in on the app – that’s annoying

      • skinnyhobbit says:

        Hahaha, your content is good enough for me to get on desktop to click through and write comments. 🙂 However YES I would like to read your full posts on the Reader app and be able to comment when I’m on the go.

        I tend to be on desktop at least once a week, that’s when I write and finish my drafts, catch up on blogs I’ve missed.

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