It’s now week 16 of the Working On Us series over at Beckie’s Mental Mess. Please visit Beckie’s post to see the guidelines for participation.
This week’s topic is passive suicidal ideation. For anyone, the difference between passive and suicidal ideation is essentially I wish I was dead (passive) vs. I want to kill myself (active).
Write a narrative about yourself and/or someone you know that is believed to think… “Passive Suicidal Ideation”
I’ve had passive suicidal ideation as part of my depression. For me it would typically start with passive and then build up to active, then eventually drop back down to passive before dying down entirely. I don’t think I’ve ever had passive SI that that carried on on its own without becoming active.
I also have no particular attachment to life, although I wouldn’t consider that passive SI. It’s not that I think I would be better off dead; it’s just that if I knew for whatever reason I was going to die tomorrow I’d be fine with that. For me, I frame that in a very different way vs. thinking oh, wouldn’t it be nice if I happened to get run over the next time I cross the street (which I’d consider passive SI).
Can You Relate To The Following Song by Kyle Spratt “Suicide Notes” If so, please explain?
It’s interesting to note that this video was posted in 2010 and it’s had 6.45 million views. You actually have to go to the Youtube site to watch it, and first you have to acknowledge a warning that it’s been flagged as inappropriate/offensive.
The written lyrics can be found here: https://genius.com/Kyle-spratt-suicide-note-lyrics
Before the song takes a turn at the very end, it’s got a strong fuck you world, fuck you other people feel to it. When I’ve been suicidal it’s never had that kind of teen angsty element to it.
I think there’s a danger in singing about suicide, even more so than writing about it. The artist seems to be going for an Eminem style, and the song has a catchiness to it. I think there’s a danger with that kind of thing that it will reinforce suicidal ideation in people who are already experiencing it. I know that when I’m suicidal I play anti-suicide songs on repeat but interpret them as pro-suicide.
There a list of crisis resources here.