Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:
- This has been an anxious week. Anxiety doesn’t play a huge rule in my depressive illness, but when it does show up it’s mostly physical. This week has followed that pattern. I have the occasional anxious thoughts about the future, but for the most part there aren’t anxious thoughts, just feeling as if I was about to go do something terrifying. Without anxious thoughts, it’s hard to tell what’s triggering it, and therefore hard to know what to do about it. It could be hormonal, although that’s not something that hormones have ever caused for me before, or it could be my reaction to a friend going through some problems with school. Then again, it could be just random and stupid, and I just need to sit with it until the next wave of whatever brand of crazy rolls on in.
- Perhaps I’m just weird, but I’ve been noticing that when I use facial expression emojis I will without thinking about it put on that expression myself. Maybe this is a good thing, although I suppose it’s a bit on the odd side if I’m around other people.
- I didn’t work at all this week, but I did take a patient assignment to see next week that involves teaching her to use a somewhat finicky self-injection device. There will be zero possibility of hiding my tremor, which is worse right now because of the whole physical anxiety business. Hopefully I don’t end up stabbing myself or her.
- I’m feeling unproductive. There are a few things I want to be working on, but it’s been hard to focus for any length of time. It’s as though I’m spending a lot of mental energy without actually getting anything out of it.
- I’m not sure what the deal is with my woodpeckers. I’ve only seen mama once this week, and I’m starting to question whether the babies I saw actually existed, because they haven’t made an appearance since then.
- Self-care this week included a massage, yoga class, and woodpecker stalking.
- My article “The real story on ‘shock therapy’” was published by the Hubpages site HealthProAdvice, which is kind of cool because they only publish stories by health professionals.
How has your week been?