I’m having a bit of writer’s block, plus it’s never a bad time to be proud of being a Canadian, so I thought I would share with you a little bit of Canadian fun.
“Eh?” is the classic Canadian add-on to pretty much any sentence. Personally I don’t actually say it very often, and no, that’s not just me being in denial. I think it’s more of a rural thing than an urban thing.
Speaking of how we talk, I don’t say about as a-boot instead of a-bout, nor does anyone I know, so I’m calling BS on that rumour about Canadian-speak.
We have not all had sex in a canoe. I have never tried, and I suspected if I did it would result in me drowning in a lake. If you wish to know how to go about it, the New York Times gets the scoop from a Canadian expert.
One of my favourite Canadian slang terms is “hoser”, meaning an unsophisticated person.
We’ve got a few alcohol-related terms. A two-four is a 24-pack of beer, a two-six is a 26-ounce bottle of hard liquor, and a mickey is a 13-ounce bottle of hard liquor.
We are mostly metric, except when it comes to people’s height and weight, and then we rock it old school with the Imperial system. I have no idea what 70ºF is, but I also haven’t a clue how many kilos I weigh.
Some Canadians buy milk in bags. Where I am, this hasn’t been around since I was a kid, but it’s still going strong in some parts of eastern Canada. Oh, and you just might choose homo milk, which is our term for whole milk, not milk with a sexual preference.
Tim Hortons is a Canadian institution best known for doughnuts and coffee. There was no Timmy’s in the little town where I grew up, so it wasn’t until I was older that I learned that a “double double” was the classic Canadian order of a coffee with two creamers and two sugar. There’s also a brilliant creation known as the Timbit – these are scrumptious doughnut holes.
The Canadian tuxedo is a not-so-stylin’ outfit involving denim both top and bottom. When I was working at a community mental health team there was a dude who worked at a nearby shelter who always rocked the Canadian tuxedo. It was all very unattractive, but also the source of much curiosity. Did he wear denim underwear? Was he going to wear denim at his wedding? And who agrees to marry someone who lives in a Canadian tuxedo?
Hockey is Canada’s favourite sport, and with that comes hockey hair (mullets gone wild!) and puck bunnies (the hockey equivalent of groupies). I was a wannabe puck bunny as a teenager – not actually cool enough to hook up with a hockey player, but would have been ready and willing should the opportunity have spontaneously arisen.
Canadians get creative when talking about men’s underwear. The classic tighty whities may be referred to as gotch, ginch, or gonch, with the preferred term varying regionally. My Dad grew up in a gotch area of the country, so that was the term used in our family home. Personally, I think it sounds gross, but my perception may be tainted by the fact that Dad always did like to wander around in his underwear (shudder).
Canadians are generally a pretty polite bunch, and if you bump into someone they will almost certainly apologize to you.
Somewhere in Canada, at this very moment, there is a moose on the loose. Just sayin’.
So that’s a taste of quirky Canada for you! What are some of the oddities of your neck of the woods?