In Own It: Make Your Anxiety Work For You, Caroline Foran aims to help you change your relationship with anxiety so that rather than trying to avoid it you can own it.
The book isn’t preachy at all, and feels like a chat with a good friend. The author takes a no-bullshit tone, and assures readers that if she tells you things will get better it’s “because it’s true, and not because it sounds like something contrived that you’ll find on Pinterest with a swirly font.”
The book begins with the Assess section, “or as I like to call it, the What-the-f*ck-is-going-on? part of the book”. It then moves on to Address, “or, the What-the-f*ck-am-I-going-to-do-about-it? part of the book”. Interspersed throughout are nuggets of information from clinical psychologist Dr. Malie Coyne and other subject matter experts. At the end of each chapter, there are concise chapter summaries as well as practical exercises to complete.
I enjoyed the definition of anxiety as “a sh*t, scary feeling where – how do I put this? – you feel as though you’re quite literally coming out of your own skin.” I also liked the chapter on “bullsh*t-free breathing”, a refreshingly realistic take on the topic.
The simple, straightforward theme continues throughout the book. There are some useful metaphors to describe technical concepts, e.g. likening a hyperactive amygdala (the brain’s fear centre) to a burglar alarm that gets tripped too easily. There are also clear instructions on things like how to assemble an anxiety survival kit, and how to handle a panic attack.
The author explains that when her anxiety began, from the outside her life looked pretty darn good. She felt guilty, in a sense, that she would be anxious when things should be good. I think this is a really important point, as often people mistakenly assume that anxiety must be “about” something.
Foran identifies positives that have come from her anxiety, like pushing herself to achieve more, having a strong work ethic, recognizing her patterns, being more in tune with her body, and having the chance to make a difference for others by speaking up about her own experience.
She writes about the importance of acceptance, which allows for a reframing of symptoms that can end up actually changing how you experience your symptoms. She recommends TED Talks by Kelly McGonigal (on making stress your friend) and Brené Brown (on embracing vulnerability)
There is a chapter titled “why cognitive behavioural therapy is everything”. Foran goes through common mind traps (cognitive distortions) and ways to get out of them.
Other chapters touch on various other strategies, including acupuncture and anti-anxiety medication. For her, medication played a helpful role, and she explains that, often, a combination of approaches is most effective.
She also writes that we should prioritize spending more time doing what makes us happy and less time doing what makes us unhappy, like negatively comparing ourselves to others on social media.
Overall, I think the word that best describes this book for me is refreshing. I liked the focus on accepting and managing anxiety rather than fighting it, and the chatty, no-BS tone made it a fun read.
Own It is available on Amazon (affiliate link).
I received a reviewer copy of the book from the publisher via Netgalley.
You can find my other reviews on the MH@H book review index or on Goodreads.
Looks good
I might pick this one up when I’m next at the book store! Thank you for the recommendation.
This sounds like something I may have to add to my must read list. In the meantime, I just ordered you book. I can’t wait to receive it on the 10th!!! Yay!!! 🤗
This sounds like a good read. I’ll give it a try xx
Added this one to my list of books to read 😊
Ooo I actually really like the sound of this. It’s so much more engaging when it’s written in a no-nonsense way but down to earth and not too preachy, and the swearing makes me want to like it already! It also sounds like it states the obvious (like with focusing on what makes us happy and do less of what makes us unhappy) but in a way that’s refreshing and actually makes you think twice about it. I hadn’t come across this book before so thanks for sharing! x
Yeah, it was really well done.
I’m reading this book but the older version which is called Your bullsh*t free guide for living with anxiety. It’s amazing. She’s such a great writer 💗
Yes she is 🙂
I would love to read this book, I might learn a thibg or two
Yeah, it’s a good one 🙂
It true…we need to accept our anxiety instead of denying it. Sounds like a good book to look into!
Definitely something we could all learn, myself for sure. Can’t wait to check this out. Thanks for the recommendation!
Oh this sounds great. I always think of my anxiety as owning me and taking over my behaviour!! Will have to pick this book up.
I’m not big on non fiction/self-help books but might check this one out. Thanks for sharing!
Yeah it was good, it didn’t have the usual self-help book vibe.