Butterfly brain

blue butterfly on tropical plant

Image by Efraimstochter on Pixabay

Mentally I feel like a butterfly, flitting around from flower to flower, never sticking with one for very long.  Lots of flowers to pollinate, after all.

Except I’m not as graceful as a butterfly.  I’m more like a moth, careening drunkenly around with no apparent destination in mind.  Bouncing off one wall, hitting the ceiling, smacking over against the window, where I settle down for a minute before the stumbly mental dance begins again.

Cognitive symptoms of depression are often present, but the intensity of the illness’s effects on my concentration ebbs and flows.  Lately it’s been worse, and I suspect that has at least something to do with not feeling so great physically.

I’m still managing to get some things done, but it’s all very inefficient.  The frequent task switching ends up using far more mental energy than if I were able to focus for a little longer.  However, if something pops into my mind I know that if I don’t attend to it right away it will be gone.

Reading has been worse lately in terms of concentration than writing, although I’m feeling pretty uninspired to write.  I have the attention span to read a paragraph or two, and then I’ll flop over to something else.  I mostly skim rather than read word for word.  Or I read without understanding and then wonder what the point of that was.

Speaking of points, there isn’t really one to this post.  More of a little pause before I go flitting off to something else.


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23 thoughts on “Butterfly brain

  1. Liz says:

    Yes, mental health and physical health I think can easily get affected, when either is an issue. It’s like a vicious circle.
    I hope your health improves for you.

  2. anupturnedsoul says:

    The moth does have a destination, they seek out the light. Turn the light off and the moth calms and settles down.

    So maybe when you’re feeling in moth mode, it means you need to turn off the light and relax in the dark for a while. I’ve found it helps to respect the natural ups and downs. If you can’t do something, don’t do it, and don’t put pressure on yourself to do it. Go with your own natural flow.

  3. Meg says:

    What a beautiful blog post!! No, you ARE as graceful as a butterfly, and just as pretty!!

    I can relate to your post so much! Great minds think alike and flit around like beautiful butterflies!!

  4. visionarytrailblazin says:

    I smiled while reading this; not because what you said was funny. However, once again your words have captured my thoughts. This moth disguised as a butterfly flutter towards the light getting burned and doing it all over again. Where we wander we often find joy. I am grateful for your post.

  5. seaofwordsx says:

    I can understand you so well and relate to it. I feel tired this week and also have that before having my period. It feels like I can’t read enough because of concentration too and it sucks. Hopefully, it will be better soon 💗

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