Weekend wrap-up

wrapping paper, ribbon, and twine

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Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • Christmas sucked.  I was alone, and reminded just how much my illness has hijacked my life.
  • I haven’t had the motivation or inspiration to write much, and have been sort of flopping around like a figurative stranded fish doing not much of anything.  I have various drafts on the go, and I’ll write a sentence or two and then lose interest.
  • I think I’ve watched all the good documentaries on Amazon Prime, and what’s left is total crap.
  • I’ve decreased my stimulant dose because I’ve been feeling weird.  I’m not even sure how to explain it; it’s sort of like focusing but dissociating at the same time.  Maybe I should cut down on the amount of tea I drink, but I’m not particularly interested in doing that.
  • I got some work shifts assigned for the next few months, which is a bit of a relief.  It’s been three months since I last worked, and while I’ve got savings it was concerning that there was no money coming in.
  • I’ve decided to mentally commit to moving forward with a project I’ve been considering for a while now.  More info to come on that soon.

 

How has your week been?

27 thoughts on “Weekend wrap-up

  1. Meg says:

    You weren’t so alone on Christmas!! We, your blogger friends, were with you in spirit!!

    I’ve struggled with my writing too. Yesterday, I finally forced myself to outline what I’ve written so far in my novel. Like, I literally had to force myself, because my focus has been gone.

    I’m really glad you’ve got some work hours coming back!! I was worried about that too! 😮

    You like documentaries? I’m not an expert, but have you seen Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary? That one left me chilled when I saw it in the local artsy theater years ago.

    I’m excited to hear more about your project! I’m going to blog about my upcoming goals soon too!! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Sunny says:

    I hate to laugh, because I know exactly what you’re talking about. But I HAVE to laugh…because I know exactly what you’re talking about!!!

    I’ve been going through a really rough time too. Quit my job because I apparently cannot stand on my feet all day like I could when I was younger. Just went back on assistance. Looking for work. Had a horrible phone interview yesterday. My car broke down. No money for Christmas (we didn’t even bother with the dinner). Blah blah blah. Just a bunch of stupid things that pile one on top of the other to make one heck of a heavy weight.

    It’s okay, Ashley, this too shall pass. I have really good feelings about 2019, and a lot of hope for a better year.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. howikilledbetty says:

    We’re nearly at the end of the year so we can get out our white handkerchief and wave it goodbye with a “Good Riddance” attached to it. Let’s make 2019 our best year yet … let’s make a plan! Mine is to finish my book by Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty sure that’s achievable providing I just do a tiny bit every single day. I’d love to know what plans you have! I’m sorry you’ve had a grotty week … thinking of you. Katie

    Liked by 4 people

  4. haveyouevernoticedblog says:

    On Christmas at church, Father Mike lamented during his usual sermon asking why no one ever shows up to Christmas mass. But, I kinda enjoyed the silence. Hey, it’s over! This is a brand new day. I look forward to reading some of your new projects in the upcoming weeks.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Melanie B Cee says:

    Surprisingly this year wasn’t bad in regard to the holidays. I dread them, but this year vowed to just let it be whatever it turned out to be. Without expectations, nothing could be dashed and I wouldn’t get further depressed by my increasing poverty and messed up health ‘insurance’ (which makes me laugh, a sarcastic braying laugh). And because I didn’t expect anything, what happened was great! I’m sorry for your situation though. I, too, have had a hard time focusing enough to write. When I do, it’s great walloping gobs of stuff (like yesterday). Can one be bipolar in their blogging/writing? Mostly I want to sleep, and otherwise I have little interesting in anything at all. I’m hopeful though that this cycle will end as it has other years, and a new one will spark off sometime in 2019. We’ll see.

    Nobody can walk in YOUR shoes, but my advice? Be as kind to yourself as you can, pamper yourself, do nice things for YOU…spa day? Just buying something decadent that you like to eat, maybe some nice chocolate or sweetie that you enjoy. Do something positive and I suspect it’ll jog your mood upward a little.

    Blessings for a wonderful New Year to you!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. theameribritmom says:

    My anxiety was pretty high leading up to Christmas so when my daughter woke up Christmas morning with a flu part of me was relieved. I got to spend the day at home with my kids. That’s exactly what I needed. A day to truly recharge. Lately getting out of the house and around others has made my anxiety worse.
    Glad your work situation is turning around 🙂 Happy New Year!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. artandhealingheart says:

    I realized a week before Christmas Id been misdiagnosed with Depression and Anxiety five years ago. I’m switching therapists to explore the possibility of me having ptsd from a family friend (who I had to see for Christmas) 🤦🏻‍♀️

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Lynda Estacio says:

    The past week has been a mixed bag. Stomach flu followed by head cold. My son staying with my sister for a couple of nights, including Christmas Eve night, so he wouldn’t get my stomach flu. On the positive, reduced anxiety, renewed focus on listening to my body, feeling a bit better (finally), and multiple, smaller holiday celebrations with family.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. After The Party says:

    So, at the beginning of the month my doctor trialed me on a stimulant for my ADHD. You follow my blog, so you know that I am in recovery from stimulants. I didn’t write about it because it was a hard decision for me to finally make, and I didn’t want to hear any bullshit from anyone. The way you described it- focusing but dissociating- was so dead on what happened to me. I hated it SO MUCH. I refused to take it on weekends, skipped a bunch of days because I didn’t like it that much…all my fears had been about abusing it or it triggering a relapse. Instead, I learned that my brain chemistry, specifically the dopamine system (or whatever) is BROKEN. I am sure that a combo of stress and that stimulant caused my mini-breakdown the week before last. The bad news is, I have to cope with my ADHD with no pharmaceutical help- those pills were my last resort. The good news is, I know I will never go back to my drug of choice. Never, ever, ever. I hope you have a wonderful New Year, and everything starts feeling good. Thanks for finding the perfect description for my experience. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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