27 thoughts on “Learning to name workplace bullying”

      1. Gotta give some hot. I mean some do freak people out and am not taking that anymore especially from someone I think should know better. Bullying be it on or offline is simply outrageous. How many have heard have lost their lives because of this?
        So bravo really for your article and now knowing it name. Keep calling the crap out

  1. Wow, you know we just never talk about work place bullying. I have been in a job where the management systematically bullied people until they quit so they didnt have to fire them. It was terrible to witness. And we all lived (worked) in fear that we would be next. Thank you for bringing this to a conversation and naming it. Im sorry it happened to you. Bullying is terrible at any age.

  2. This is such a brilliant, on-point, important article – I wanted to leave a comment but it doesn’t look like you can on that site. I’m sorry you’ve been through workplace bullying, and were made to feel the way you did. It’s sad that the experienced “had a profound effect on how I perceive the world around me”, though I’m not surprised. Negative things like this that are so poignant in our lives can and do shape our perceptions and expectations. But you should be proud for dealing with it then sharing it, raising awareness and bringing to light the need to recognise bullying firstly, and stand up against it. xx

  3. I haven’t experienced full-on workplace bullying, but did have one person making my workplace extremely uncomfortable (sexual innuendo and jokes, including the final straw which was a personally directed “joke” at a point when I was extremely stressed out because I’d just suffered a needlestick injury) and I ended up making a formal complaint. That process didn’t go entirely smoothly at first, but in the end the hospital management handled it really well.

    I found the experience of people in charge taking me seriously and having my back quite healing, especially because of being bullied before in a social setting and having everyone act like it was completely normal and rational and that I was the one at fault, which ended with me having to walk away from that entire group and all the people I’d thought were friends.

    Completely agree with you that bullying eats away at your self worth and has awful long term consequences, and that workplace bullying needs to be called out and vigourously dealt with. I am so sorry that you’ve had such a terrible outcome.

    1. I’m glad the hospital dealt with that incident properly.
      It’s such a bizarre experience to have people treating unacceptable behaviour as perfectly normal and rational. People who choose to be part of the problem definitely don’t deserve to have an ongoing role in your life.

      1. It does completely skew your perception as to what is “normal”. It wasn’t really until I got an outside perspective that I could believe in myself. A friend of mine who I’d taken to *one single event* in that hobby group ages ago told me recently that the reason she’d never agreed to go again was that she could see it was a highly dysfunctional group.

  4. I’m glad to hear that this is making it into the conversation. It is very sad that bullying happens at any age and in any place. The workplace is, unfortunately, no exception in a lot of cases. Very well done article – so sad that people have to go through this!

  5. You are so brave of speaking up 💕. I just read your article. I have been bullied during high school and it’s horrible. I still have to look for a job but I’m always so anxious that it will happen too on the workplace. I wish that it will end one day because it’s not okay and have serious consequences

  6. Thank you for speaking up about this!! Great article! I was particularly intrigued to find that many targets are intelligent and competent. It makes sense based on what I remember when I worked at KidsPeace in Bowdon, Georgia. I was always working hard to do the assigned nightly tasks, you know? My coworkers wanted to slack or just scrape by. They probably saw me as a “goody-goody” and wanted to destroy me rather than emulate me. (Small, pea-brained minds; worthless imbeciles.)

    I have long-term issues similar to yours. In my case, I’m terrified of the workplace now. Any time I try to work somewhere, I become consumed with fear, and I can’t even hide it.

    What’s really upsetting, and what really scares me, is that the workplace environment is geared toward success and making money, with no care whatsoever for the employees. I’m so thankful every single day that I have disability status and will never have to go back to work. It’s just scary as shit.

    Great article!! Very relatable!! Keep us posted if you earn tips!!

  7. Bullying is when one person is taking the self-esteem from another, on purpose. However, bullying takes many forms, which is why you can’t end it because people need to stand up to such tactics. Yes, in schools, very violent bullying must be ended, but if we squash the more subtle, then who’s to decide what constitutes bullying and what happens is well-meaning people who speak their minds, with strength, are then called or labelled bullies. In a strange way, and I’ve seen this, those who were “victims” of bullying use regulations as a way to squash arguments and direct talk, and this can be, and is, to the detriment of students in schools (Students need to see strong, direct teachers unafraid to speak their minds, of course, with adult respect.). We have to be able to differentiate and not call something bullying because feelings are hurt. Sometimes, in life, feelings have to be hurt in order for correction to take place. Strong, direct, but well-meaning people are needed in this country and this is what is needed to change for the better. Could we imagine this country ever becoming if the founding fathers were afraid to hurt feelings?

    1. I think it’s sort of like the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Critical feedback can be given in a respectful way, or it can be given in a way that is persistent, pervasive, and deliberately geared towards undermining the other person’s value. There’s a big difference.

  8. I also see the importance of debate clubs with mentors that have endured the difficulties of communication. In life, unfortunately, people will disagree and be disagreeable. That will always happen. In debate clubs, if they’re of high quality, students can learn to focus on the message and not the messenger, and in this way, not become part of a growing problem. What we see in Congress often is an inability to hear, see, understand, and focus on the message and not the messengers.

    1. From your comments I imagine you’ve been lucky enough not to be the target of bullying. The ignorance of some does not negate the serious damage done to targets of bullying.

      1. Quite the contrary. My life has been built on facing bullies in all walks of life. As a kid, being a minority, I faced ridicule and even beatings, sometimes running home after school to avoid. In the workplace, because I have my own understanding and think for myself, I have faced firings and being “outed,” for the same. Being yourself is not easy. And with the coming years, our youth will hopefully see this, but look for ways to overcome by being themselves.

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