Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:
I spent 5 days this week in the city where my family lives. My Grandma had just moved into an assisted living residence, and I wanted to be there to make the transition easier for her. She had quite a bit of cognitive impairment when I last saw her 2 1/2 months ago, but she’s had a significant decline since then. She typically doesn’t remember what she’s been told thirty seconds ago, so she has very little idea of where she is and why she’s there. I was spending about 6 hours a day there with her, and it was exhausting. She doesn’t remember that I have a mental illness, so I’m just putting on an act the whole time I’m with her, letting my nurse persona come to the forefront. Sometimes I would outright lie because it was simpler. That makes it even more tiring. It was also hard leaving because I know she’s going to really struggle. My uncle visits her every day, but I’m really unimpressed that my mother can’t seem to be bothered doing much to support Grandma.
I already knew my concentration hasn’t been good lately, but I was really reminded of it while I was staying at my parents’ place. The tv is always on in the evening, and I tried sitting in the family room with my laptop but I couldn’t concentrate at all with the noise of the tv. So instead I ended up hiding out in the bedroom.
I’ve been trying to expand my writing efforts, and I think it’s good for me to push myself out of my comfort zone. The next step out of the cozy little comfort zone will be pitching an idea to a magazine. I don’t know why the idea of submitting a pitch intimidates me way more than sending in an entire essay, but regardless it’s a psychological barrier I’m going to try to hurl myself over soon-ish.
How has your week been?
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