Life is still there waiting for you

I got home a few days ago from a 3-week trip to Italy.  Jet lag has been a bitch, and I’m in even more of a mental fog than usual.  I’ve managed the basic tasks of getting settled back in at home, but anything requiring more cognitive involvement aren’t getting very far.

While getting away may offer a bit of temporary reprieve from life, the problem is, life is still right there waiting for you when you get back to it.  The day after I got back I got a call from my manager and HR person at my new job.  They had emailed me while I was away and informed me they were going to call at that date and time; the fact that I didn’t actually agree to this was not a factor at all.  They wanted to chastise me about a patient that I had refused to see shortly before my trip because they were not going to pay me fairly to do so.  I decided to take the approach of not trying to defend myself.  I had a brief prepared statement (which they clearly didn’t actually listen to a word of), but aside from that, all I said was yes, no, or okay.  It meant the call was over fairly quickly, but I was left thinking that if I see even 1 patient a week for these cheap dumbfucks it will be 1 too many.

I’ve also learned that someone with more seniority than me at my other job is going to be snapping up more of the shifts that I would normally have taken (casual shifts are offered in order of seniority).  So, my ability to earn an income seems to be shrinking.  Aside from that, my motivation to work has been shrinking, as is the feeling that I am capable of managing work.

I’ve been home a few days and it feels like I never left.  I am so tired – tired of being jet lagged, tired of dealing with BS, tired of dealing with life.  I’m not seeing anything to look forward to in any way.  Welcome home.

30 thoughts on “Life is still there waiting for you

  1. Revenge of Eve says:

    Oh, Ashley. I hate reading this but if it makes you feel any better, I deal with cheap dumbfucks every day. If you can afford to take a small break, do so. Go take you some one on one counseling sessions. Talk it out with a friend that will help you seek within. No job is worth that amount of yuck. Live is too short. I rooting for you all the way down here. I’m here, always ❤

    Like

  2. Karen says:

    Try to get through the jet lag and brain fog before making any decisions. You won’t be able to think clearly right now, other than to understand that you are better than those who you work for.
    Hope you find a way through this, don’t let them pull your mood down further xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thelayeredcanvas1 says:

    Welcome home. I laughed when I read your lead-in, because it hit home (pardon the pun) for me as well. I’ve not learned the secret or if there is even one for coming back with fresh new eyes. There has to be someway to recharge and refocus. I look forward to your next blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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