Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:
- I spent the earlier part of the week visiting my Grandma. It was a good visit, but quite tiring. Especially hard was that she would have moments of confusion when she would get really irrational, like thinking my uncle was trying to steal her money. Her short-term memory is really impaired, so I was having to try to explain the same things over and over, which got frustrating even though I knew it wasn’t her fault. My parents, who live not far from Grandma, knew I was in town but I didn’t hear from them. I’m not sure what that’s about, but it doesn’t feel very good.
- I’ve been more irritable this week, although it’s hard to tell if that’s internal or just annoying stuff happening that pissed me off. I full on spazzed at a guy in my building who was being a vehicular menace in the underground parking (e.g. he almost backed into me, I leaned on the horn, he paused for a second, then resumed trying to back into me). I usually try to keep my irritability on the inside, but on this occasion I just let er rip.
- I’d been waiting for my iPhone 5S to start giving me problems before getting a new phone, and this week that time had come. I got a new iPhone 8 and switched to a different carrier that gave me a better plan for less money, so that’s a good thing.
- I had some short periods of really negative thoughts. Just when I start thinking that I’ve convinced myself I know these thoughts aren’t true, they pop up to say hello and remind me they’re still floating around in there, ready and waiting to do a little crazy dance.
- I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by things I want/need to do, even though there really isn’t much to be overwhelmed by, and I worked very little this week. I guess it’s just taken a few days to get settled in and comfortable after being out of town at Grandma’s.
- After an experience 6 months ago of crying and then getting up and walking out, I have concluded that dental appointments always need to be pre-treated with drugs. With the assistance of Ativan and Seroquel, I made it through an appointment yesterday without a meltdown, although I still felt pretty panicky. I think it’s partly the pain/discomfort, partly the feeling of having no control, partly that it’s intrusive, and partly I feel like I’m drowning when they use the ultrasonic water scaler thingamabob.
How has your week been?
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