I’ve decided to take a bit of a break from blog awards, but when I’m nominated for awards I’ll answer the questions posed to me in this 20(ish) questions format, along with assorted other question tags and the like. Feel free to join in the fun with your own answers to any or all of the questions 🙂
Questions from Rory at A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip:
- If I could spin round on my chair fast enough how long will I need to spin round to move forward in time to next Friday? Well, I was just watching a documentary about Einstein on Netflix, so I could share my newfound wealth of knowledge about the nature of space-time, but that wealth of knowledge that I could pretend to have is smaller than a pinkie toe, which brings us to the next question…
- Why do we only have five toes? Ok seriously, toes are ugly enough as it is without adding extra ones to join in the ugly party.
- At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? Preferably both. But I like to get an aisle seat to ensure that I have at least one. Arm-related manspreading is just as prevalent and obnoxious as leg-related manspreading.
- What is the purpose to the mosquito, the cockroach, the snail and the slug? To give people the heebie-jeebies. Except for snails. They fascinate me. I think if my house always lived on my back it would permanently be bedtime, and there’s something very appealing to that.
- What’s the difference between a drum, an egg and sex? Having recently watched Fifty Shades Freed I could pretend to give you a kinky explanation of how well they all go together, but since I don’t know what I’m talking about I’ll keep it vanilla and move on to the next question.
- Why oh why is it so difficult to find the right fitted bra? [Asking for a friend] First off, I don’t believe you Rory. Secondly, breasts are like fingerprints, all unique. Anyone who manages to address this issue is deserving of a Nobel prize. The easiest fit to find is a compression sports bra that keeps those babies sucked and tucked even if you’re falling out of your seat trying to escape the manspreading ape from question 3.
- If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some kindling wood, and a newspaper, which would you light first? I feel like I need more information, including what else is in the room, who else is in the room (and their level of attractiveness), and why on earth I entered the room in the first place.
- Dragons, did they exist or not? [Interpret how you will] I wonder if my vagina might have been a fire-breathing dragon in a previous life [Interpret how you will].
- If you only had one year left to live, what would you do with those 12 months? Go to France and eat so much buttery and cheesy goodness that I would have a heart attack before the 12 months are up.
- Okay, your best friend has really bad body odour and bad breath at the same time do you tell them and risk offending/upsetting them or not? My question here is how did you become best friends with this person in the first place? If someone can’t be bothered with industrial strength deodorant as needed, how can you rely upon them to perform their friend-ly duties?
- Ok, you are given the chance to flip the card to win 1000 [your currency] or keep the 500 [your currency] that you already have. Do you take the risk and flip the card? The thought of losing money for a random card flip is just as icky as the above-mentioned cockroach. Needless to say I’m the person who, on the once in a blue moon occasion I’m at a casino, is playing the 1¢ slot machines and cringing with every dollar I lose.
- If you were a vegetable, which would you be, but more importantly why? I’m actually going to rebel and be a fruit instead, specifically a durian. They stink to high heaven and there’s something awfully appealing about repulsing everyone who comes near me.
- Milk, water or juice? I drink copious amounts of water every day and feel like I would shrivel up like a raisin without it. I probably wouldn’t taste as good, though.
- Ok, for some bizarre reason, you have awoken to a fresh day, go to the fridge, open it and there is a giraffe inside stuck, how are you going to get it out? [Asking for a friend] I would crawl on in and snuggle up with the giraffe, cause somewhere behind one of those body parts has got to be a magic portal to the Serengeti.
- Oh grief, emails are the bane of our lives right? We have an email for everything, you open up your inbox and you find that you have a staggering 2000 sitting in there that require answering, BUT you can only answer 200 – how do you choose the ones to answer? That would never happen, because I’ve got my system. I could tell you what the system is, but then I’d probably have to kill you. Then of course there’s the fact that I don’t like people so there are a limited number of people that actually email me.
- You have a party of 28 people turning up on your doorstep and the caterers have let you down, you have 2 hours to make some kind of meal and you only have a potatoes, bananas, breadrolls and taco sauce – what you are going to make? What I’m going to do is lock the door and turn off the lights because I would rather spend the evening with the giraffe in the fridge than have 28 people show up at my home.
- If you could eliminate one invention from the history of the world and it could never be reinvented, what would it be? Guns.
- You were given the opportunity to fly anywhere in the entire world with the ability to fly back from that exact same spot. You can’t fly to or from any other place and you can only do it once. Where would you go and why? I think I’d fly to the south of France and just never come back.
- How can you drop an egg from a height without it breaking ? If you eat it and it’s in your stomach. You have to worry about other thinks breaking, but that’s beside the point.
- If tattoos were easily and cheaply removable whenever you wanted, how many would you get, what would you get, and where? I’ve been thinking about getting a Celtic oak tree design on my leg. I’ve got 3 tattoos already.
- Oh my goodness what a conundrum! You have found yourself in a position where upon you are driving late at night and the heavens have opened – you spot three people in the rain and want to help, but only have space for one passenger …
- An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
- An old friend who once saved your life.
- The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.…
- … Who do you help? Well, I’d leave the old lady because if she dies anyway I don’t want to be stuck dealing with the body. The dream perfect partner is most likely gay/psychopathic/smells like a durian, so I’ll go with option B.
- What is the length of one piece of cooked spaghetti?? That depends how far Lady and the Tramp have gotten in their spaghetti a deux.
- Where are your keys to your house right now? They always live in my purse. Very few of my clothes have pockets, so the purse always comes with me. I feel like there must be some sort of conspiracy going on between the female pocketless clothes people and the handbag people.
- Bob’s father has 4 children. John, Adam, and Peter are three of them. Who’s the fourth?? Nancy Drew. Obviously.
Come on, you know you want to answer a few – that’s what the comments section is for!
Image credit: qimono on Pixabay