I’ve decided to take a bit of a break from blog awards, but when I’m nominated for awards I’ll answer the questions posed to me in this 20(ish) questions format, along with assorted other question tags and the like. Feel free to join in the fun with your own answers to any or all of the questions 🙂
Questions from A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip‘s quick fire round 7:
- Are eyebrows considered facial hair or just surplus eye hair? They’re ear hair that’s gone for a walk.
- If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Groan… They’re a pain in the ass is what they are.
- She sells sea shells by the sea shore, has anyone asked why yet? Everyone realizes she’s dumb for thinking people will pay for shit they can just pick up for free.
- If glassblowers inhale do they get a pane in the stomach? Groan again… No, they get a snow globe the have to squeeze out their butt.
- Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs. What kind of rabbits are you looking at?
- What disease did cured ham actually have? Genital warts. They were transmitted from a warthog. (yup, groan again!)
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? They don’t actually believe you about the stars, but it’s too much bother to try to prove to you that you’re a doofus.
- Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Well at least now I know I’m not the only one!
- If you met a vampire, would you let it bite you for eternal life or would you shove a stake in its heart? Depends if it was Jacob or Edward.
- Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer? If I lived in a hunter-gatherer society I would quickly starve unless I could find someone to bribe with sexual favours.
- Have you ever tried to contact a spirit with an Ouija Board? No but I have cheated while playing with a Ouija board.
- If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why? All Bran because then I’d always be regular. But it’s gotta be the All Bran Buds – regular All Bran is just yucky.
- Have you ever seen a ghost, a spaceship, or anything else you couldn’t rationally explain? I’ve seen people doing stupid things… does that count?
- Would you rather fight 1 elephant sized duck or a 100 duck sized elephants? Ducks can be mean buggers if you get them riled up, so I’d go with the elephants.
- If l gave you a 1000 dollars, pounds or a currency of your choice how would you double it in 24 hours? I only need 5 minutes – I’ll go to the bank, withdraw $1000, and boom, I’ve got myself $2000.
- Ok, you have woken up groggy eyed and worse for wear and find a giraffe in your kitchen, what are you going to do? I would give it a snuggle and ask it to take me on a ride around the neighbourhood to show off.
Answers please on the flipside of the flip side of the reverse side of a doubled sided coin … You can only see that side if you look through a one-way two-way mirror.
Questions from A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip quick fire round 8:
- What’s your philosophy in life? Guinea pigs make everything better.
- Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert all the way baby.
- What was the best phase in your life? While I was doing my first university degree. I had so much fun during those years.
- When younger, you had a dream job, what was it? I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I was very young, but I know that when high school rolled around I wanted to be a cardiologist. Why, I really don’t know.
- Did you get close you your dream job of young, now that you are grown up? Right now I’m in my current dream career.
- What’s more important to you – looks, brains or humour? That’s a complicated question. What are we talking about? A friend? A life partner? I value intelligence, I enjoy a quirky sense of humour, and if we’re talking romantic partner physical attraction is a must (although what is attractive to me does not necessarily correspond with what is generally considered good looks).
- What’s the best age for marriage? Whatever age at which someone happens to be mature and finds the right person.
- If you have children in your life [be they yours or family/friends] what advice do you give them if any about when they are older? Use condoms.
- Do you ever stay friendly with exes? Yes, although as a general rule I’d say it probably doesn’t work that well.
- What’s an ideal weekend for you? Hanging out at home with the guinea pigs.
- What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again? I had a one-night(ish) stand with an Aussie I met in Turkey when I was in my early 20’s. It was irresponsible and fun, but the only thing I would change is him giving me mononucleosis (yup, the “kissing disease”).
- Ok, so you are nearing the end of your days – and you offered to live your life once more but are allowed three changes – would you accept those changes or live your life the same way again? Is none of the above an option? Once is enough!
- If you chose those three changes what would they be? One yurt, one yak, and one me, all combined into one happy little love nest.
- When you are enjoying some ‘alone time’, what do you think of? Guinea pigs. But somehow the ‘alone time’ in quotes seems suggestive of autoerotic activity.
- What are your top 5 movies to date? Dirty Dancing, Top Gun, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Sixteen Candles, and Can’t Buy Me Love. Gotta love the 80’s.
- Fess up, we all like some routine and order to our lives, what can you NOT go a day without doing? Multiple cups of tea in the morning. With milk, no sugar.
- What’s the most exciting thing to have happened this year? I’m more inclined to ask has anything exciting happened this year?
- Did you ever play Battleship the game as a kid or for that matter maybe even now? I’m fairly certain I played it back in the day; that may just be a fabricated memory, but it was definitely popular back when I was a kid.
Answers please on the third skin of a banana please using pixie dust and egg! That sounds a little too R-rated for me!
Come on, you know you want to answer a few – that’s what the comments section is for!
Image credit: qimono on Pixabay