Weekend wrap-up

wrapping paper, ribbon, and twine

Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:

  • I worked 6 night shifts at one of my jobs.  One of the shifts was a last-minute overtime shift which meant I couldn’t stick to my normal medication and sleep schedule.  I was reminded that I can’t sleep if I don’t take medication, no matter how exhausted I am.  It’s hard to say how much of that is the effects of depression and how much is because my brain is used to having drugs.  Regardless my brain on no sleep is not a pretty place, and I’ve been pretty low-functioning for the second half of the week.  Overtime makes for damn good money, though.
  • At that same job, I saw on the schedule that in a couple of weeks a new hire is going to be orientating to night shift, and rather than schedule this person to orientate with me, they’ve booked the person to orientate on a different unit with another casual nurse who’s only 3 months out of nursing school.  Now I don’t have any desire whatsoever to orientate new staff, but I’m sensing an underlying not-so-subtle message here; this isn’t the first time they’ve made it clear that they don’t want new staff orientating with me.  Fuck that place is obnoxious.
  • I’m fairly certain my other job is going to cease to exist.  HR has set up a teleconference for all staff in my program on Monday, so I should find out then what’s up with the suspicious hints lately.
  • I saw my doctor for the first time in a few months.  I didn’t really feel like I had anything to say.  I told him I was doing fairly ok most of the time.  He wasn’t totally convinced, but he said I looked good so he would let it go.  Normally I’m not a fan of the “you look good” routine, but he’s consistently observed that when I’m struggling I don’t even try to put on a mask with him so it’s quite visible, so in this particular situation it didn’t bother me.
  • I had dinner with my brother, and while it wasn’t quite as painful as the last time I saw him, it was still uncomfortable.  He was telling me about some of our parents plans that came as news to me, and it bothered me that I was hearing this stuff via my brother rather than directly from my parents.  Pretty much all my parents ever tell me is where they’ve gone out to eat or what they’re watching on Netflix.  I’ve been feeling alienated enough from them already, and now I feel that even more so.
  • I decided to go ahead and book a flight to Italy for October.  I’ve been contemplating it for a while now, and I finally came to the conclusion that I was never going to feel fully comfortable making a decision, so I might as well just go for it.  And I’m flying on points, so if I end up cancelling the flight it’s not the end of the world.

 

How has your week been?

 

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20 thoughts on “Weekend wrap-up

  1. Meg says:

    Ohh!! I can relate to so much. First off, we’re both traveling in October! Yay!!

    Second, I had the same problem at my job where I taught kids how to read. My employers refused to give me additional responsibilities. When I asked them about it, they said, “You told us you’d be uncomfortable interacting with the kids’ parents.” And I was like, “What? I said that?” And they said, “Yeah. Don’t you remember when we discussed it three years ago, when you first started working here?”

    Facepalm.

    But in your case I bet (I hope) it’s more about office politics and kissing up and whatever’s going on behind the scenes, because you would be a GREAT orienting person. That is crap.

    I can’t sleep without pills, either. God bless us both. In my case, I never could sleep. In your case, I bet you could taper off and sleep without pills if it was important to you, but I doubt it’s worth putting pressure on yourself over. You were great to pick up the overtime shift!! Rotten that someone dumped it on you with no warning!!

    I’m curious about your meeting on Monday. Keep us posted!

  2. Invisibly Me says:

    Wow, that’s a lot of night shifts and overtime. Good for money but not so good for meds and sleep, as you say. Do you think next week will be a little calmer at that job? Very odd and unfair to suggest the new high orientate with someone else rather than you, so perhaps it’s just as well you don’t particularly want to and could do without the hassle. I’m sorry about the other job and things looking a bit precarious – I hope you get some answers on Monday so you know where you stand. I’m sorry the dinner with your brother was still uncomfortable as expected and left you feeling even more apart from your family. I would give you a hug if I could because that can’t be a nice feeling at all. I do think you should be proud of yourself for sitting through it though, and also for booking that flight – that’s amazing, and I really, really do hope you’re able to keep it and go to Italy! Take care of yourself this weekend and try to rest and take things easy if you can… Caz xx

  3. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com says:

    I think you could really use the trip to get away from all that has and still is bothering you. You have been pushing yourself pretty hard at work, and dealing with its nonsense for quite some time. It will be nice to go away and shut your brain down for a spell.
    I agree with Meg… keep us posted on what happens on Monday. Until then, I hope you have a restful weekend. 🙂

  4. suninthespring says:

    That sounds like a kind of rough week. But Italy! That’s exciting! And maybe something to look forward to?
    My week has been okay. Not much objectively bad has happened, but it still wasn’t too good. Oh well. Here’s to next week!

  5. 2angelsinmo says:

    My weeks been trying to say the least. I got a letter that I’ve been expecting from the state concerning a FM in harm’s way. I didn’t get their statement on their guidelines of how this isn’t neglect. But not giving up on her. On a better note, My oldest is sister and I are reconnecting. And it feels good. I’ve been working alot as well as I’ve added some new things and new Admin to help me with my Page, and in 4 days I have almost 600 members!! I am very proud and happy the way things are going! Friday night, my jaw started burning and alot of pressure. Felt a small bump on my gum and have an abscess. Went to the ER, in so much pain, hadn’t slept all night Thur to Fri. I then got my antibiotics, 3 times a day for 10 days and getting a tooth pulled. I have dental phobia and don’t know if I will have a panic attack again like lasts time. I had to reschedule due to embarrassment. Any dental phobia pointers would be encouraging. I know I sound ridiculous about that but the fear is real. I can’t get the gas, due to my crappy dental insurance.
    My son is spending quality time with his sister over the weekend
    I miss him when he leaves, as he is my only child in the house. He comes home today and I can’t wait to see him and see the pics of my grandbabies.
    You are doing an amazing job Ashely. And so happy for you that you get to go to Italy in Oct!!

  6. Kelsey Marie says:

    I’m sorry about your issues with your workplace, work can be so annoying at times. I hope your situation looks up soon! Also, I’m excited to hear more about your future trip to Italy, as well! I’m happy I stumbled across your blog, x.

  7. Karen says:

    Well done on booking that flight, Italy is a gorgeous place and somewhere I would like to see more of.
    I also cannot sleep without medication, unfortunately I often forget now that I’ve moved all my other meds to the morning only realising when I’ve spent at least 45 minutes shuffling around in bed and annoying my (ever so patient) hubby!

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