Here’s what happened in my life over the past week:
- My mood has been better this week than last.
- My self-care is still not great but improving. I’m eating crap (like Pillsbury cookie dough straight out of the package) because I just don’t care enough to be bothered cooking. I went for a massage but just wasn’t able to relax.
- Work went ok. Midweek I was driving to see a client at his home and I was thinking some pretty dark thoughts, but then when I got to his place I was able to turn on Nurse Jekyll and put the kibosh on Ms. Hyde. I wish I could pull off that transformation in other contexts, but it seems confined to work.
- Aside from work, it hasn’t been easy to interact with other people. Earlier in the week I was dropping my car off to be serviced, and I felt really uncomfortable talking to the service advisor. I couldn’t make eye contact and was having a hard time putting words together. I felt very exposed, kind of like being out in the sun with a sunburn.
- My home was getting sufficiently disgusting that it forced me off my ass to do some cleaning.
- I’m giving myself credit for doing a gratitude entry in my journal every day this year, even on days when I felt like crap.
- I did a continuing education webinar on the use of EMDR for PTSD. Something I found really interesting is that while horizontal eye movements have been found to improve memory processing in “normal” people, there isn’t good evidence to say that the eye movement aspect specifically impacts the overall effectiveness of EMDR therapy for PTSD.
- My surviving boy guinea pig seems pretty lost since his brother passed away a week ago, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to give him a new buddy. He’s kind of a grumpy old man so he wouldn’t be able to tolerate another boy, and spayed females are few and far between since it’s a risky operation in guinea pigs. So it’s up to me to give him lots of love. His new favourite way to cuddle is tucked into my armpit.
- As you likely know, there were 2 high-profile individuals who completed suicide this week. I wasn’t very familiar with either of those people, but it still hit close to home. I’m disappointed that the media reported on the means if suicide, especially since this particular method is one I’ve always found particularly disturbing. It also gives me a bit of a yucky feeling that there’s a flurry of talk out there in the world when someone high-profile suicides, and then people don’t think about it again until the next celebrity suicide. Probably it’s a good thing that people are talking, but I’m a little too cynical to believe that it will create any lasting change in people’s mindsets.
How has your week been?