This week has been crap. A lack of sleep plus some stressors caught up with me and my mood tanked. Self-care went out the window. There were several days that I was sleeping in my clothes, not brushing my teeth, and my diet consisted of pizza, potato chips, and cheesecake. I cancelled my massage and skipped yoga because I had no interest in having people in close proximity to me for that amount of time. Around 5pm each day I’d start thinking damn, I want to go to bed because I just want this day to be over already. The hopelessness that usually simmers quietly in the background became much more in my face. As I’m catching up on sleep things are improving, and so passes just another dip in this seemingly never-ending ebb and flow of my illness.
When I saw my naturopath this week for my regular methylfolate injection, she commented that I looked good, like I’ve been taking care of myself. I guess a tan and summery clothing plus some Botox thrown in helps with “passing” as “normal”, but the outside is a pretty limited reflection of what’s going on inside.
I had 4 clients this week for my job that involves in-home self-injection training. It never ceases to amaze me how I can be feeling shitty one moment and yet quickly shift into functional Nurse Ashley persona the next.
One of my guinea pig boys died this morning. He hadn’t been sick, but he was quite old. He and his brother were very strongly bonded, so I don’t think his brother will last long. I just feel numb.
How has your week been?