Weekend wrap-up

wrapping paper, ribbon, and twine

This week has been crap.  A lack of sleep plus some stressors caught up with me and my mood tanked.  Self-care went out the window.  There were several days that I was sleeping in my clothes, not brushing my teeth, and my diet consisted of pizza, potato chips, and cheesecake.  I cancelled my massage and skipped yoga because I had no interest in having people in close proximity to me for that amount of time.  Around 5pm each day I’d start thinking damn, I want to go to bed because I just want this day to be over already.  The hopelessness that usually simmers quietly in the background became much more in my face.  As I’m catching up on sleep things are improving, and so passes just another dip in this seemingly never-ending ebb and flow of my illness.

When I saw my naturopath this week for my regular methylfolate injection, she commented that I looked good, like I’ve been taking care of myself.  I guess a tan and summery clothing plus some Botox thrown in helps with “passing” as “normal”, but the outside is a pretty limited reflection of what’s going on inside.

I had 4 clients this week for my job that involves in-home self-injection training.  It never ceases to amaze me how I can be feeling shitty one moment and yet quickly shift into functional Nurse Ashley persona the next.

One of my guinea pig boys died this morning.  He hadn’t been sick, but he was quite old.  He and his brother were very strongly bonded, so I don’t think his brother will last long.  I just feel numb.

 

How has your week been?

 

Image credit: Rawpixel on Pixabay

36 thoughts on “Weekend wrap-up

  1. Meg says:

    Oh, shit. Oh, Ashley, I’m so sorry about your guinea pig. I’m so, so sorry to hear that. He had a good life, and he was well loved. He died knowing how much you loved and cared for him. I’m so so sorry to hear about that. He was a good friend and a good guinea. Yeah, I’d need some serious Ben & Jerry, and that’s okay. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. utahan15 says:

    tough
    nice when i m away from
    home and the remodel
    and anxious son tom
    sorry about your pig
    it is hard
    and we as persons
    have so many sides
    had a fued
    on twitter
    that s normal
    well
    i hope you get some sleep
    do what is necesary
    for your mind and body too!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. CB says:

    I’m sorry to hear your week has been so bad, and so sorry to hear about your guinea pig. That is so sad. We have two guinea pigs and two rabbits and would (will, I guess, one day) be devastated to lose any of them. Hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Michele Elkins-Hoffman says:

    I have been exactly where you are this moment. It would spend weeks in bed (usually from depression, at times from real illness) and this was the case until recently. I owe Abba so, so much. What got me out of my rut was the fact that once I start a habit (good, bad or ugly) I have a very difficult time breaking it. Say I didn’t brush my teeth for a few days-when I am feeling as if I MUST do SOMETHING-the act becomes something I fear. Same with showering, leaving my home, going to work or talking on the phone. I simply cannot take the chance of that happening, so I don’t allow myself to go there. Chin up, at least there’s Botox. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com says:

    So sorry to hear about one of your babies passing, Ashley. I can only imagine how sad you must be.
    Sleep deprivation can set the mood for sure. I become very short with people, and patience flies out the window. I do hope your sleep keeps improving, and that you feel better soon.
    My week has been pretty uneventful. I’ve been reading more lately to help with my self-care. Because that too has been a real issue for me this past week. Yesterday, was probably the most productive I’ve been in about two weeks. Depression sucks the big one!
    My thoughts are with you over your guinea pig passing, you were a good Mama to him. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Revenge of Eve says:

    Oh no!!! You lost one of your babies? I am so sorry Ashley. I can’t imagine although I know it is inevitable. What a terrible week for that to happen. I hope you are able to mourn him properly so that your next week improves. I am so sad hearing this news. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  7. KD says:

    😦 I’m sorry to hear that your week has been so difficult, and especially sorry about the loss of your Guinea pig. Those losses (well, all loss) can sometimes take a while to really settle in, be kind to yourself as feelings arise out of the numbness. It sounds like, despite everything, you’ve done well holding it together though. For whatever it is worth, I think sometimes it’s good to give into the voice that says just go to bed early.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ooi Zao May says:

    You have definitely done a great thing by being able to fulfill your job responsibility despite your depression which has been giving you such great challenges. It’s alright to fall back to depression sometimes as healing takes time. Continue to be tough and great! Keep it up! I am proud of you, Nurse Ashleyleia♥

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Liz says:

    Self care can so easily go out the window when we are down. Although I have not blogged about it, I did not give the self care I needed for a few months, which is like a vicious circle isn’t it? But for just over the last month, I am getting back into it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. behinddepression says:

    I’m so sorry your week has been so bad and that your guinea pig died. I’m very sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. Just keep your head up. And even if you don’t want to keep working on you until you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s