Mental Health

Is Honesty Overrated?

shadow of a man preparing to karate kick bullshit
geralt on Pixabay

Content warning: serious potty mouth alert

There was recently a this or that tag making the rounds, and one of the questions was whether you’d choose honesty or another’s feelings.  I was actually a bit surprised by how many people chose honesty, and it got me wondering – is honesty overrated?  If I was going around being completely honest about what I thought, what kinds of things would I let loose with?  Well, it wouldn’t be pretty.  Here’s an assortment.

  • L: I know you like to diagnose yourself with a wide variety of mental illnesses to get people to jump on board your pity party bus, but what you really are is drama queen.  You are not the centre of the world, and it’s time to get over yourself.
  • B: You pretend you’re so confident, but you’re just hiding a fragile ego.  I see through your bullshit.  And I hope you (and your fragile ego) get syphilis.
  • C: You say a patient threatened to hit you because I wasn’t strict enough?  You’re a dumb rude bitch, and I hope next time the patient smacks your ugly face.  And yeah, by the way, you’re as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.
  • Z: You are an embarrassment to our profession you sociopathic bitch.
  • D: Stop telling me everyone goes through this.  It’s an illness, not a fucking walk in the park.
  • To various assorted people:
    • You are dumb as fuck.
    • You need to get the fuck away from me.
    • You need to shut the fuck up.
    • Take your bullshit somewhere else.
    • No, I’m not depressed about something.
    • Whatever bullshit suggestion you’ve got to fix my depression, shove it up your ass.  Please.
    • Stop being nosy.  I don’t want to answer your bullshit questions.
    • Just because you think I look ok doesn’t mean I actually am, dumbass.

This is not to say that I’m always bubbling over with anger, and I know forgiveness and compassion are important things to keep working on.  Most of the time, I’m not a particularly judgmental person.  But if I were to be fully honest with everyone, this is the stuff that might come flying out.  I know I need to keep the potty mouth on lockdown in certain settings.  And probably best I don’t start practicing radical honesty anytime soon.  Perhaps Roseanne Barr could’ve used a reminder about that recently.  Mean/judgmental is usually best left with inside the head voice.

Where do you stand on honesty (of the more radical kind) vs another’s feelings?  Do you think honesty is overrated?

32 thoughts on “Is Honesty Overrated?”

  1. if i am going to bother talking to someone, i am honest to a point. I will not put myself or anyone else in harm’s way. I do not share information about other people’s lives…ask them if you want to know. Anyone who know me, knows not to ask me a question if they do not want an honest (and kind) answer. I have memory problems now, so honesty also makes for a less stressful existence…nothing like trying to remember lies to screw a fellow up.
    Finally, i owe nothing to strangers. including police and so on. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
    Love your site,

  2. depends on whom ya dealing with
    if it is like with my son
    he talks too much
    and then come the insults
    he keeps asking me what s wrong with me
    when we all know what my problems
    very annoying
    honesty is fine
    but sometimes
    not the best choice
    i think
    you asked!

  3. It’s strong of you to be this honest and blunt about how you think about people on a daily basis with this post. It sounds like you have an extremely demanding job. Honesty is one of the most important parts of who I am as a person. It doesn’t mean you have to be mean. It can be as simple as being vulnerable and telling your best friend that you don’t like her new boyfriend. You can tell someone you were dating that you don’t think you are compatible instead of ghosting them. I agree that in the middle of an argument, it’s a lot to tell someone the truth about how you think about them. I will go so far as to tell someone why I don’t like them or why they piss me off and hey, yeah, it might be pretty fucking rude. Who cares, though? It sucks living under a veil of lies. Maybe pick and choose WHEN you want to be honest! Hahaha

  4. I think you need to learn to read the situation and pick and choose where to be honest. It isn’t always the best policy. The more you know someone the better you can judge but it obviously gets tricky when you don’t.

    But as much as we may say we want the honest truth we don’t. Learning to read people will help but there is a lot more too it than one simple answer.

  5. I’m with you. There are times when someone pushes me to the max, and I unleash on them. (Run!! Run fast and far!) 😀 I completely understand. I think passivity is overrated.

  6. In many situations it comes down to was the honesty even asked for. An example: Recently it was pointed out to me that I have prominent dark circles under my eyes. I am aware…I own a mirror. Now ,had I asked how I looked , or even more specifically whether or not my concealer was doing the trick then the honesty would of been greatly appreciated. However it did lead to me buying a better concealer, so I guess something good came out of it, lol.

  7. Is it the Jim Carrey film ‘Liar Liar’ where he could only speak the truth… it’s not always the best policy. I would love to be honest at all times but honesty can be extremely damaging in certain situations, particularly when dealing with those people with fragile self-esteem who need building up not condemning.
    Love your post though, seriously funny!!! 😀

  8. Omg, I’m dying over here. I have similar thoughts about people on a daily basis. Probably why I’m such a hermit because the filter between my brain & mouth doesn’t work so well the older I get.

  9. Yeah…the honest thoughts in our head. Right? I believe in being honest but trying not to hurt the person. That being said, I need to work on that too. In fact, my friend was twlling me a story the other day about some people she was with and she said, “Instead of saying what needed to be said, I did that whole niceynice Alexis thing and was nice, and bit my tongue and smoothed it over.” YIKES!! 😳 I need to find a middle ground for sure! 😃

    1. Yes, I suppose somewhere there’s a middle ground between nicey-nice and swearing at someone. Where exactly that is, though, I’m not really sure 😜

  10. Wow… I’m really stunned at some of those comments. Rude is putting it very mildly, to say the least.
    I prefer honesty. No one has to be excruciatingly rude to convey their message to me though. There is such a thing at being constructive, not destructive in voicing an opinion.

    1. I guess the problem is that sometimes my truly honest thoughts/opinions are pretty rude, so I try to be selective in what I verbalize and be honest about the constructive stuff and keep a lid on the destructive stuff.

Leave a Reply