I have always been a big fan of lists, especially when it comes to grocery shopping. When I’m depressed, lists tend to move from a preference to a necessity in order to compensate for the decline in my memory and concentration. When things are really bad I even try to organize my shopping list into produce section, dairy aisle, etc., because otherwise I end up wandering back and forth all over the store, my pattern of disorganized movement mirroring the disorganization of my mind.
Yesterday I was walking to the grocery store, and about halfway there I realized that I’d forgotten my phone at home. I use Google Keep for my grocery list, so no phone meant I was list-less. I was then faced with two options: go home and get my phone, or just go ahead and do my grocery shopping trip without it. I’ve noticed that my thinking has been clearer this week, plus there weren’t a lot of things I needed, so I decided ok, I can do this. It also helped that the sun was shining, and I had actually bothered to put on real non-yoga clothes and a bit of makeup. This was my day, dammit.
I didn’t spend a lot of time in the store, and when I got to the checkout I was feeling pretty confident. On the way home I thought of 2 things I had forgotten, but I felt ok about it. When I got home and checked my list, I had gotten 7 of the 10 things I’d intended to get. 70% ranks an A+ compared to how I’ve been functioning most of the time lately.
What I’m particularly proud of is my willingness to go for it, to just dive in without my list as a safety net. I focus less on the fact that I forgot 3 things as the fact that I remembered 7 things. I believe it’s the little things like this that are often really important indicators of progress. So yay for me and for small victories!
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