Bringing the Sexy Back


The dress in this photo has been dubbed my “sexy dress” by a fabulous female staffer at a resort I recently stayed at, and apparently I am “sexy girl”.  It has been a long time since I thought of myself as sexy in any way, so that made me feel pretty darn good.

At the same time, I was working on turning the book 101 Ways to Live Well into my own personal self-care manual as part of my journalling project, and 2 of those 101 ways involved livening up your libido and feeling sexy.  And that got me thinking, why shouldn’t I feel sexy?  Because sexy isn’t necessarily about sex (which hasn’t happened for a long while).  It’s about feeling fierce, and it really can fall under the umbrella of self-care.

Shortly before all of this came up, I’d read a post by the lovely Girl with the Paw Print Tattoo about planning a boudoir photo shoot.  Curious to learn more, I stumbled across some boudoir pics of a dance teacher I’ve done classes with, the amazing Portia Favro, and I thought WOW.  At this point the cost of a boudoir shoot just isn’t in the budget, but it’s an interesting little goody to put on the back burner.  And just as I was finishing up writing this post, the oh-so-sexy Girl with the Paw Print Tattoo published her post-shoot follow-up.  Yay!

Back to my self-care manual.  So, what did I come up with for ways to bring the sexy back?  Well. here goes:

  • Go commando: I went for a walk on the beach commando one morning; to be honest, it was because I had a bit of a sunburn on my butt so it was just more comfortable.  But then I realized hey, this is kind of hot.  Perhaps I should do this a little more often
  • Wear sexy lingerie just for me: I don’t have a huge stash of sexy lingerie, but I do have some that I never wear because there’s been no sexy business going on.  Sexy business or no sexy business, it’s still worth it just for me every once in a while.
  • Sticking with that same idea, buy some more sexy lingerie just for me.
  • Show a little cleavage once in a while.
  • Do a little at-home selfie boudoir shoot.  (note to self: don’t save the photos to iCloud)
  • Do a little at-home version of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, with some fierce tunes and a fierce strut to match.
  • Fantasize.  Not someone from real-life.  Maybe rockin it old school like Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall.  Not fantasizing sex, but all the fun stuff that comes before getting down and dirty.
  • Do a professional boudoir shoot at some point down the road.
  • I have an aromatherapy blend called Embrace that’s supposed to be sensual.  I use it in my diffuser because several of the oils in it are supposed to be good for mood, but maybe it would make a good pairing with the Brad Pitt Legends of the Fall fantasy.

That’s what I’ve managed to come up with so far.  What do you do to make yourself feel sexy?

30 thoughts on “Bringing the Sexy Back”

  1. “Don’t save the photos to icloud” 😂 awesome post. It’s hard for me to think of myself as sexy because I had a baby 7 months ago and my body is still trying to get back to where it was. But pushing 30 I find that it is even harder to stay in shape. I definitely struggle with feeling sexy. Good tips. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thanks 🙂 I’m almost 39 and have quite a bit of psych med-related weight that particularly likes to stick to my gut, so it definitely takes more effort to feel sexy now than back in the day.

  2. The lingerie is the answer for me! It’s fun to pick out the different kinds and colors. And I can always find something that flatters my body. And plus, a little (or a lot) of lace never hurt anybody! 😜

  3. Good for you for taking care of yourself by loosening inhibitions and consequently, feeling sexy! Omg, I can’t remember the last time I felt that way, though I do go to a salon every week for alternating services (haircuts, nails, facials). That, at least, makes me feel pampered and good about myself.

  4. I love how body positive and unapologetic this post is. I wish more of us had this attitude that we are worth it, that we can feel sexy for ourselves! Love this post and I think that dress looks great on you☺️

    1. Thanks! If it hadn’t been for the combo of a swimsuit topic with cleavage-boosting superpowers (and a dress that showed that off) and a hotel staffer who told me every day for a week that I was sexy, none of this would have even crossed my mind.

  5. I think feeling sexy is actually so important. It’s a way of feeling desirable and worthy. It could be completely unrelated to sex and still brings so much confidence!

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