The blunt reality is that 2017 has not been a good year for me. I have really struggled with my mental health, and treatment-resistant depression makes it hard to find hope. But as 2017 draws to a close, I can acknowledge that looking back on the bad stuff is less productive than trying to focus on the good. So here goes.
- I started blogging. This has been by far the best thing that I’ve incorporated into my life this year. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have definitely been times when I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by all things blog-related. But overall, it has been a fantastic way to be able to express myself and feel like part of a community.
- My grandma (who is 100 years old and amazing) has decided she would rather see me start to enjoy my inheritance while she’s still alive, so she gave me a very large amount of money for Christmas. She’s thrilled that the first thing I’m going to do with it is go on a much-needed vacation. I’ve booked a week at an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico in late January, and I think the getaway will be highly therapeutic. Bring on the sunshine!
- I have grown my guinea pig family from 2 to 5 members. There’ve been quite a few days that they’ve been the only thing that kept me going, they’ve forced me to maintain a consistent routine, and because of them I never feel completely alone. This is extra-important since I live by myself and spend quite a bit of time at home.
- I have cut a lot of people out of my life over the last while because of my illness, but this year I did have one amazing new person enter my life that I feel really safe with. It’s a good reminder that safety is still possible and not all people are out to harm me.
- I have found a really good set of treatment providers (doctor, naturopath, and massage therapist) that I feel comfortable with. Definitely a step up from last year when I fired three different doctors in quick succession.
- I have survived. It hasn’t been easy, and at times suicide has very much seemed like the best option, but I’ve made it through.
And there you have it. Onwards and upwards in 2018.