This has been a busy week for me. I worked the last four nights in a row (11pm-7am), so my sleep schedule has been shot to hell, plus I’ve had appointments with clients for my other job during the day, which has left little free time. What I’ve noticed most about that is that I feel so behind in all things blog-related. Normally I really value the time I spend each day to read people’s blog posts and keep up with all the great stuff that shows up on my Twitter feed. I also really enjoy answering mental health-related questions on Quora. But this week it’s been hard to find time for that, and I’ve hardly done any writing.
I guess for a lot of people who are working full-time and juggling busy lives this is par for the course, but because of my depression I’ve only been working casual for the last year. I am really easily overwhelmed, which turns my brain into mashed potatoes, so any disruption to the stability and comfort of my regular routine really throws me off.
So today I’m starting to play catch-up. I’ve got so many web browser windows open with things I want to read that it’s slowing my computer down – and slowing my brain down too. I guess one of the downsides of trying to keep engaged with the world online is that it can start to feel like an un-winnable race. I’ve got the next couple of days off, though, so I’ll get settled in, make a few pots of tea, and read and write to my heart’s content. And while I’m at it I’ll remind myself that none of this is really a race at all, and I just need to let my depressed brain relearn how to walk as it tries to heal rather than trying to race to a non-existent finish line.